Jaysley’s Voice

21/08/2026

The lead up to the court case in September is like reliving the lead up to our Daughter’s funeral date, like I’m having to prepare myself for closure. That’s something I can’t do Jaysley, I can’t.

I have to make sure, in your memory and for Emilli too, that your legacy keeps on going.

I don’t know what Jaysley’s Voice will become. I don’t know how far it will go or what it might look like, but I will make sure Jaysley’s Voice becomes a platform for others. Somewhere people feel they can speak, somewhere they know somebody is listening. That I promise you.

I don’t know how I do all of this Jaysley, I really don’t. I’m just your Mum trying to turn the worst thing that has ever happened to us into something that might help somebody else.

Jaysley’s Voice will never be over. It will keep going. Maybe I don’t need to know exactly what it becomes yet. Maybe together we’ll find out. You will be there to guide me.

I just know I’m a Mum who will never give up.

I love you both so much.

20/08/2026

Some friendships come into your life and change it forever. Mine with Jaysley started in Harrogate in 2019, and within the first five minutes, I knew she was going to be someone special. We were inseparable almost instantly, and from then on, she called me “Squirrel” a name that stuck with me forever. 🐿️❤️

We went through training together, joined 47 Regiment Royal Artillery shortly after one another, and even our accommodation blocks were right next door. There were countless sleepovers, endless late-night drives, nights in watching films with far too many snacks, and more nights at the pub than I can probably count. 😂

But our friendship was so much more than that. Jaysley was my rock. When I had a bad day, she was the person I turned to, and when she had a bad day, I was right there beside her. We fell out, we cried, we laughed, we annoyed each other, but by the end of the night, somehow we'd always end up back in my room, talking the night away.

Her family became such a huge part of our friendship too. They'd join us on FaceTime to see what takeaway we had, what film we were watching, or sometimes just to listen to us singing after one too many drinks. 😂❤️

There is also a part of our friendship that is incredibly difficult for me to talk about.

When Jaysley was sexually assaulted at Thorney Island, I remember being on the phone with her that night. I could hear how frightened she was. I stayed with her on that phone, listening to her and trying to make sure she knew she wasn't alone.

But for a long time, I couldn't forgive myself for not getting in the car and going to pick her up. I wish I had gone. I wish I could have been there to hold her, bring her home and take that fear away from her.

Hearing Jaysley so scared that night is something that will stay with me forever. There are some things you hear that you can never unhear.

She didn't deserve what happened to her. She deserved to feel safe. She deserved to be protected. And most importantly, she deserved to know that none of it was her fault.

I wish I could go back and change that night for her. I can't. But I can make sure her story is heard, her name is remembered, and her voice continues.

We weren't just friends. Jaysley was my sister.

As heartbreaking as losing Jaysley has been, one thing I'll always be thankful for is the family she left me with. Her family have welcomed me with so much love, supported me through my darkest days, and become such a huge part of my life. I honestly don't know where I'd be without every single one of them, and I'll never be able to thank them enough. ❤️

And somehow, even though Jaysley isn't here, the little things continue. Every single day, I'll call Leighann and we'll talk for hours. about our day, what we're having for dinner, and everything in between. It feels like a little piece of Jaysley is still there in those conversations.

I miss Jaysley every single day. I always will.
But I'm so grateful that 2019 gave me Jaysley, and that through her, I gained a family who will forever be a part of mine.

Forever my Best Friend. Forever my Sister. Forever your Squirrel. 🐿️❤️

20/08/2026

I keep coming back to these words... Jaysley telling me I was strong, that I was keeping our family together and that I was making her proud.

She probably wrote it without ever knowing that years later, I would need those words more than I did then.

Life has asked so much more of me since you wrote those words, I hope I’m still making you proud. ❤️

20/08/2026

In this special ITV report, former servicewomen speak openly about the sexual harassment, assault and abuse they experienced while serving in our Armed Forces.

I want to start by acknowledging every woman who took part in this programme. Speaking so openly about something so personal takes a lot of courage, and I hope they know that people are listening and standing beside them.

Sadly, so much of what they are saying feels painfully familiar to our family. Our Daughter experienced some of the very things being spoken about, but she is no longer here to tell her story. That’s why these women speaking so openly is incredibly important.

Nobody should have to fight to be taken seriously after finding the strength to say, “this happened to me.”

To every woman who spoke in this programme, you have my absolute respect. I know how much courage it can take to do this publicly. I just hope those with the power to make change are listening.

https://www.itv.com/watch/news/her-fight-are-women-serving-in-the-military-safe/jkph5gz

19/08/2026

Since losing Jaysley, something inside me died too. I find it hard to talk about her, or sometimes even hear her name. I struggle to look at photos of her. I’ve tried, but it feels like someone ripping open a wound that will never heal.

There’s one picture beside her ashes in our living room. That’s the only photo I can bear to see. Each morning I give her four kisses, and I do the same every night before I go to bed. It’s my way of saying good morning and good night to her, the same way I used to.

After she died, I couldn’t face going back to work. I had a lengthy time off and eventually I was made redundant. Not long after that, I had a heart attack at 52 years old. The doctors said stress and grief were part of the reason. Deep down, I already knew that. I knew what losing Jaysley had done to me.

I don’t sleep well anymore. It’s like I’m still waiting for her video call, the one we had every night, but it never comes. I still catch myself reaching for my phone sometimes, hoping to see her name flash up. Then it hits me all over again that she’s gone. I’ll never get used to the silence she left behind.

What I struggle with most is knowing she was failed. She should have been safe. She should have been looked after. As her Dad, knowing what she went through and knowing she should still be here is something I’ll carry for the rest of my life.

Now I exist, but I don’t really live. The laughter, the happiness, the man I used to be, so much of that went when Jaysley died.

The world keeps moving, but mine stopped the day I lost my youngest Daughter.

18/08/2026

18/08/2026

We have a tough month ahead of us, but what we do have is each other. I think more than ever we need to be kind to our minds and not expect too much from ourselves.

September will come and we’ll face whatever it brings, then soon after we’ll be back with our eldest Daughter Emilli, snuggled up and just enjoying being a family. Always believing that wherever we are, Jaysley will be there with us too.

For now, that’s what I’m holding onto. ❤️

18/08/2026

Yesterday we received the sad news that James had passed away following a terminal illness. No matter how much you try to prepare yourself for news like this, there is still such sadness when it finally comes.

James was a genuinely lovely man who will be missed by so many.

Loss has a way of reminding us just how precious life is, and how important it is to appreciate the good people we meet along the way.

Our thoughts are with James's family, his close friends and everyone who loved him.

You’ll be remembered fondly, James. It was a privilege to have known you. ❤️

18/08/2026

If there’s one thing I’ve learnt from grief, it’s to take pictures.

Take pictures of everything, everywhere, of every single person you love and every single memory you want to keep.

Because at some point, that’s all you have left, and it’s the only way you feel close to them.