29/09/2026
Recognising love and care in grief carry on long past the lasagne stage - showing up for someone in a months time, 6 months time, a year or 5 years after the death of someone they love is precious ❤️
When the Funeral Is Over
I recently saw a statistic that said 60% of grievers report that friends or relatives pulled away within weeks of the funeral.
I wasn't surprised.
And I don't necessarily think people pull away because they don't care.
I think many people know how to handle the grief of a funeral.
They know what to say.
They bring food.
They make phone calls.
They show up.
They hug you.
They sit beside you.
But then the funeral is over.
The flowers disappear.
The casseroles stop coming.
Everyone goes back to their lives.
And your grief doesn't.
That is where things can get difficult.
The short-term crisis of a death is something people can rally around. The long-term reality of grief is different. There is no ceremony to mark it. No obvious end date. No point when you can say, Okay, we're done grieving now.
You are still grieving weeks later.
And months later.
And years later.
The people who love us may not understand that. They may think we're doing better because we're functioning again.
But functioning isn't the same as not grieving.
And grief doesn't need an audience every day.
Sometimes it just needs someone who doesn't disappear when the funeral is over.
Maybe that's one of the greatest gifts we can give a grieving person:
Don't just show up for the funeral.
Show up for the aftermath.
Because that's where grief really begins to feel lonely.
Sydney - Until Death Do We
