16/09/2026
We are very sorry to have to share this announcement. John will be greatly missed. Our deepest condolences to his family.
Trigger Warning: Su***de, Self Harm
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This is one of the most gut-wrenching posts we’ve ever had to make, and we’re so sorry to be the bearers of such awful news.
It is with immense sadness that we announce the passing of beloved community member John Cheshire. His beautiful family have asked that we break the news to his treasured kink and q***r community; and to let you know that John lost his battle with depression over the weekend.
It is truly an impossible feat to try to put into words the phenomenal person that John was, the epic life that he lived, and the people he touched with his kindness along the way. But we are going to try.
John lived his life out loud, with such pride, such authenticity and such a passion to see, do, experience, feel. He was absolutely effervescent, lighting up every room he was in, and he’d always be looking around to see who was on their own or which friend he hadn’t made yet. He was inimitable, a trail blazer, and wherever he was, he was always iconically John Cheshire.
You’d be driving down Smith Street on a Saturday afternoon and catch a fleeting look of someone in a latex shirt and a pair of jeans on the footpath and yep, of course, it’d be John. Our Melbourne Rubberman 2017 was rarely seen without something shiny on, always resplendent and dressed to impress, whether it was out at dinner, seeing a symphony, or attending a play. He wanted to share his love of rubber with the world and he’d always say it was the best way to make new friends! In a speech he made during Slick week earlier in September, he talked about how people sometimes think that wearing latex in public is scary, but in fact it made him feel so powerful, and it opened so many doors to new conversations and new friends. He was always building community and networks wherever he went. We called him the friend collector. He was known and loved by the staff in every bar up Brunswick Street (and down Smith Street!) where he’d often go out for a few cheeky cocktails somewhere and end up dancing on his own somewhere else until the place closed at 3am, and the next day he’d be telling us about all the new friends he’d made the night before. We often said to ourselves, when we’re his age, we hope we’re out partying and living our best lives as much as John does.
But while his partying was legendary, John was so much more than just a party animal. He was an incredible pianist, and he had a deep love for the orchestra that he adored sharing with others. He’d swell with emotion telling you about a symphony he had seen at Hamer Hall, and at home he had a record collection bigger than almost any we’ve ever seen. His father was a publisher and he was absolutely in love with books, often telling us of what his book club was reading that week, and we’d regularly share something we’d read and that we had enjoyed with each other.
He enjoyed a heartfelt and genuine conversation over a red w**e (so long as it wasn’t pinot!) or a single malt wh**ky, especially if it tasted like seaweed and smoke - Laphroaig was his favourite. He was as deep of a thinker as could be possibly imagined, a naturally profound and eloquent person with whip smart intelligence. His level of compassion for others was such a rare and beautiful quality within his impeccable character. He was a born performer, speaker, host, and an artist in every sense of the word. Every room he walked into became a stage, and because of these qualities, we called him “the walking pantomime”.
He was also an incredibly passionate advocate for Aboriginal communities, and he was extremely proud of the work he did in this space throughout his career. His love didn’t stop at humans either - he loved animals with all his heart, which is why he spent most of his life as a vegetarian, and in later years became a vegan and campaigned for animal rights.
Whatever you do and whoever you are in life, we reckon we should all aim to be just a bit more like John. Live loud, live proud, be authentically yourself, be passionate, and love, love, love with your whole heart.
Our thoughts are with his amazing family David, Mark, Frank, Pam, and his daughters Adelaide, Lillian, and Matilda.
Along with a group of some of John’s nearest and dearest, we are planning to put something together to celebrate his life with the community once we have begun to deal with the immediate grief we are going through. In time, details of such will be on our page and newsletter.
Let this be a reminder to all of us that sometimes even the most positive, smiling face in a room can be dealing with things under the surface. Check on your friends. Circle back. Tell them there’s never a time when you won’t be there for them if they need you. Make pacts. Make time. Be real with each other. Work on strategies and mantras to rise above any adversities you might face. Hold those you love extra close and tell them how much you love them.
John, we’re really gonna miss you mate.
If this news has brought anything up for you, help is available:
Emergency, police & ambulance (24 Hrs): 000
StandBy Support After Su***de: https://standbysupport.com.au/
Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 or through beyondblue.org.au
Switchboard: https://www.switchboard.org.au/
Griefline: https://griefline.org.au/
Sane: https://www.sane.org/
Connect with a lifeline crisis supporter (24 Hrs): 13 11 14
Su***de callback service (24 Hrs): 1300 659 467
13 YARN: 13 92 76
Mensline Australia: 1300 78 99 78
Access Hub: https://www.accesshub.gov.au/
Translating and Interpreting Service: https://www.tisnational.gov.au/
QLife: https://qlife.org.au/
