WE are trying to start a service that will help treat the perpetrator of DV to recover and be a healthy & respectful part of a relationship, Peer Education, ATODs and healthy relationship education. Please help us to build the Centre, Resource & Fund the Service and support real change for the Men, Women & Children suffering everyday! The Central Queensland MENs Wellbeing and Education Centre (CQ
MWEC)
Domestic and Family Violence (DFV) is a daily reality in every Australian community! As a result we remain in a climate where women and children are being abused and killed (1 woman each week) by partners who say they ‘Love’ them but have many unhealthy thoughts, attitudes & beliefs as well as limited skills needed to be caring, loving and respectful men (a dangerous mix). DFV is not a hidden problem and we need to adapt the way we are dealing with it if we really want to see things change. Simply put we can continue to pour millions into dealing with the victims (the ones not causing the problems), while barely funding the treatment of the perpetrators (the ones causing the problems); or here’s an idea; we can support victims to continue to be safe while simultaneously working with the perpetrators to create change in themselves and allowing relationships and families to be rebuilt in positive and healthy ways. Today it’s a harsh reality but many of the women suffering from DFV ‘take their partners back’ in the hope that things will change, but many times the partners they are getting back are the same they just make promises things will change, and most of these men can’t change on their own? Systemic Problem -
Unfortunately, the desire to change the strategies to deal with this tragic issue more effectively has been slow and unpopular to progress. The general belief is why should we spend money helping perpetrators who are thinking and behaving in such horrible ways! This is absurdity - men continue to be left out of the equation for success and yet they are causing all the harm. It is obvious by the lack of men’s funding and services the ones who ‘need to change’ aren’t going to be really given the chance to change and the situation will continue on unabated! If we can look beyond the labels, stigma and prejudices involving men and DFV we know that not all men will definitely change, and when it comes to the current DFV strategies we concede that some perpetrators need to be locked up, but jail does not curb the unhealthy thinking or violence. Thus, a lot of this punitive expense (jail costs approx. $110,000 per inmate per year) and the huge costs in courts, police, healthcare and lawyers can be saved if appropriate individuals are given the psycho-social education and support needed to allow the individual to change (and at a fraction of the cost). An old idea for a despised group! The establishment of the Central Queensland MENs Wellbeing and Education Service (CQM-WES) would stand as the ‘Lighthouse’ for change and dealing with these dysfunctional men in a structured manner from the root causes up; so rather than the ‘quick cycle – behavioural change’ programs currently in limited use across Australia the CQM-WES can support actual long-term change. The Central Queensland MENs Wellbeing and Education Service will employ a unique staff with some professionals who themselves have had the lived experience of DFV and have recovered to help men be called Men again, and not just perpetrators! Within the walls of the CQM-WEC:
• Men would be ‘Confronted Head On’ to explore their negative thoughts, beliefs & behaviours
• Be made ‘Responsible’ for their thoughts, attitudes, beliefs and behaviours
• Men would take the lead roles in their own transformations to becoming more positive, healthy and productive individuals
• Be educated and supported through programs and practical processes that are hard hitting, raw and reality based
• Men from all walks of life, socio-economic groups, races, cultures and orientations can learn how to love, respect, be compassionate and care for themselves and others
• Support would be provided after 5pm when most services are closed and an estimated 70% of DFV incidents occur
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Read the newspapers and its clear some very horrible things are happening as a result of DFV. But read between the lines and its clear another ‘Man’ lacked the skills to be a positive and healthy member of a relationship or Family unit. Men aren’t born good or bad, it is learned. Today many sources (TV/Movies, Male Privilege Culture, Alcohol and Drug Culture, Po*******hy, etc.) are teaching men how to be disrespectful and destructive, not how to be caring and loving; we must start looking at DFV not as the victim’s problem but as a problem of those committing it and teach them other ways of thinking and behaving!
“If we continue to focus mainly on the victims we will never turn off the Tap of domestic and family violence.” Dr. B.G. A wise farmer stated it this way ‘we can keep worrying about the livestock and profits, but it’s the Foxes we have to help and turn into humanitarian vegetarians, because everyone deserves to live and be happy’. (Farmer Western NSW)
WE need to look to new strategies to ‘capture and remove’ the dysfunctional thinking that causes the horrors of DFV and not just ‘blame & punish’ the man, blame changes nothing! RAJ
Please help us to build the Centre, Resource & Fund the Service and support real change for the Men, Women & Children suffering everyday! The Central Queensland MENs Wellbeing and Education Service will include:
Men’s Entry Programs
Modified Men’s Behavioural Change Programs
Community Response Teams Programs
Psycho-social Education, Alcohol & Drugs and Life Skills Programs
‘Face You’ Encounter Groups
Continuing Care Programs
Giving Back – Respecting the People and Belonging Programs
Hands to Work Programs
Re-Socialization (w/out Alcohol & Drugs) Programs
Fellowship Programs – helping men help men and the next generation! The CQM-WES model was developed by professional workers in the DFV/AOD/Social fields and a group of Men who successfully completed Men’s Behavioural Change and other Support programs. We believe that real change in these areas can only happen if we deal with the people causing the problems; not as bad people but as damaged people who haven’t learned how to really love themselves or others. 2021
