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Narcissists.Fact and Fiction, Brisbane (2026)

05/05/2024

FACTS
05/05/24

COERCIVE CONTROL HAS RECENTLY BECOME A CRIMINAL OFFENCE HERE IN AUSTRALIA AND CARRIES A MANDATORY JAIL SENTENCE OF I BELIEVE 7 YEARS.
THIS IS SEPARATE FROM THE CRIMINAL ACT OF PHYSICAL ABUSE AND INCLUDES EMOTIONAL ABUSE, FINANCIAL ABUSE, MANIPULATION, GASLIGHTING AND ANY BEHAVIOUR TOWARDS ANOTHER PERSON WITHOUT USING PHYSICAL ABUSE THAT FORCES THEM ACT IN A MANNER THAT IS DETRIMENTAL TO THEIR WELLBEING IN ANYWAY.

NARCISSISTS ARE EXPERTS AT USING COERCIVE CONTROL UNDER THE GUISE OF LOVE AND CARING TO EVERYONE THEY HAVE A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH. ESPECIALLY IN AN INTIMATE AND PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP.

I haven’t written many articles so far this year as my time has been taken up with life in general and talking to many people of different backgrounds, ages and countries. I have listened to their stories, from both male and female victims and have reached the conclusion of one simple fact that is true in every case of being the victim of narcissistic abuse, THEY WERE CHOSEN BECAUSE OF WHO THEY WERE , WHAT THEY HAD THE NARCISSIST WANTED AND TO MAKE THE NARCISSIST FEEL SUPERIOR TO THEM BY SCAMMING THEM.
Any relationship with a narcissist is destined to fail, they are only in it to take from you for their own gain.
Intimately, financially, professionally or to simply boost their ego and appear perfect to others around them.
Friendships, intimate relationships, marriage, co-workers, business partners , you were simply chosen for what you have, what you can do for them and what you will give them , they have no feelings for you other than what a parasite has for their host. You are there for them to use and suck dry until they have everything from you.
The more you give the more they take, they replace your goodness, your honesty, your loving nature and your trust with confusion, doubt, guilt , feelings of being unworthy and grateful to them for caring about you.
The truth is that you were always better than them and they know it,but can’t let you know it, so they have to destroy you to prove to themself that they are better than you.
And coercive control is a favourite and well used tactic of a Narcissist, because it’s subtle,its used out of sight, its hidden, it leaves no marks , no visible scars and it’s been difficult to prove so it makes the victim appear to those on the outside as the unstable one and the Narcissist the innocent one in the situation. Which is what the Narcissists intention was.

Over the years and with help and support from professional therapists and other victims of coercive control by a narcissist I have learnt and accepted that I did nothing wrong and can leave all the guilt that I have carried behind me, because the only mistake i made was to love, believe and care about someone who was and is inhuman and evil. So the following are my reflections, my thoughts, my truth, my memories of my ex narcissist. It has taken a long time but my life has moved on and I once again have purpose and happiness in it.
So I hope it gives you courage and strength to accept your truth and know just how amazing you are and how empty, self absorbed and needy they are.
Sometimes progress is simply having the courage to get through another day. To be you, not the person you have been brainwashed and conditioned to think you are.

I WROTE THIS SEVERAL YEARS AGO. 2017.TO BE PRECISE.
I HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT IT’S TIME TO SHARE IT.
I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND AND REALISE YOUR NOT ALONE, YOUR NOT WRONG, YOUR NOT GUILTY OF ANYTHING OTHER THAN LOVING AND TRUSTING THE WRONG PERSON. “ A NARCISSIST” THE MONSTERS WHO HIDE IN PLAIN SIGHT.
AND THAT THIS STORY GIVES YOU THE COURAGE TO SURVIVE.
THE COURAGE TO TELL YOUR TRUTH, YOUR STORY.

MY STORY.
YOU LIED ABOUT YOUR PAST, YOU LIED ABOUT THE ABUSE YOU WERE SUBJECTED TO FROM YOU EX WIFE, YOU LIED ABOUT BEING IN THE ARMY AND SERVING IN IRELAND, YOU LIED ABOUT BEING RELATED TO THE SPENCERS AND LADY DIANA, YOU LIED ABOUT YOUR EDUCATION, YOUR DEGREES AND QUALIFICATIONS, YOUR STRONG STAND AGAINST ILLEGAL DRUGS WERE A LIE, BECAUSE YOU LIED BY OMISSION ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU USED ILLEGAL ANABOLIC STEROIDS TO ENHANCE YOUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE FOR YEARS. YOUR ENTIRE LIFE WAS NOTHING BUT LIES AND FAKE STORIES. YOU EVEN LIED ABOUT YOUR NAME, YOU CHANGED YOUR SURNAME FROM T###XX TO W###XX WHEN YOU WERE 23. THE REASON YOU GAVE NEVER MADE SENSE BUT I ACCEPTED IT. YOU SAID YOUR PARENTS DID IT WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION OR KNOWLEDGE. WHICH THEY CANNOT DO WHEN YOU ARE AN ADULT.
I NEVER CARED ABOUT YOUR PAST , WHO YOU WERE, WHAT YOU HAD, I ONLY CARED ABOUT YOU , ABOUT US, ABOUT THE HERE AND NOW.

YOU USED ME, YOU ABUSED ME, YOU MADE ME FEEL WORTHLESS, YOU HURT ME, YOU LIED TO ME, YOU CHEATED ON ME. YOU USED VULNERABLE CHILDREN IN MY CARE THAT I LOVED AND THEN THREW THEM AWAY,
YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME, MY SELF RESPECT, MY DIGNITY, MY FUTURE.
YOU TOOK EVERYTHING I OWNED, MY HOME, MY MONEY, MY POSSESSIONS, YOU PUT ME IN DEBT, YOU DESTROYED MY CHARACTER, YOU ONLY MARRIED ME TO GET A PERMANENT SPOUSAL VISA AND WHAT I HAD.
THEN YOU WALKED AWAY WITH LIES ON YOUR LIPS, ACTING CONFUSED AND HURT , MAKING PROMISES YOU HAD NO INTENTION OF KEEPING AND I STILL TRIED TO HELP YOU, STILL SUPPORTED YOU.
YOU SAID I COULDN’T COME TO WHERE YOU WERE LIVING BECAUSE IT WOULD BE TO HURTFUL FOR YOU TO HAVE ME THERE WHILE YOU WERE TRYING TO FIGURE YOURSELF OUT, THAT YOU LOVED ME BUT YOU NEEDED TIME ALONE AND I BELIEVED YOU, WHAT YOU DIDN’T TELL ME WAS THAT YOU WERE LIVING WITH THE WOMAN YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH.
YOU KNEW I WOULD BE LEFT HOMELESS, THAT I COULDN’T AFFORD THE RENT ON THE PROPERTY YOU CONVINCED ME WAS PERFECT FOR US, AS IT WAS AWAY FROM EVERYONE AND THAT I HAD NOTHING, BECAUSE I LIQUIDATED EVERYTHING I HAD , HOUSE, CAR, INVESTMENTS, SAVINGS , TO GIVE YOU THE MONEY TO START UP YOUR ENGINE BUSINESS THAT YOU SAID WOULD SET US UP FOR LIFE. I PAID FOR YOUR TRIPS OVERSEAS TO SORT THINGS OUT IN THE UK. I PAID FOR YOUR MOTORBIKE, YOUR RANGE ROVER, I EVEN PAID FOR YOUR DIVORCE FROM YOUR SO CALLED ABUSE FIRST WIFE IN THE UK. I PAID EVERYTHING FOR YOU . YOU COULDN’T WORK FOR THE FIRST YEAR BECAUSE OF VISA RESTRICTIONS SO I USED MY MONEY TO FINANCE YOU. EVERYTHING YOU NEEDED I PAID FOR. THEN YOU GOT A TEMPORARY SPOUSAL VISA, I PAID FOR THAT AS WELL . I PAID FOR YOU TO GET YOUR DIPLOMAS AND CERTIFICATES RATIFIED TO AU STANDARDS, THEN 18 MONTHS LATER WHEN YOUR SPOUSAL VISA BECAME PERMANENT I PAID FOR THAT TOO. THEN YOU SUDDENLY LEFT TO GO FIND YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU WERE CONFUSED.. YOU TOLD ME TO STAY WITH MY SISTER WHILE YOU SORTED YOURSELF OUT. I NOW KNOW THAT YOU WANTED ME AS FAR AWAY FROM YOU AS POSSIBLE AND NO WAY TO COME TO SEE YOU, I GUESS 1000KS WAS FAR ENOUGH, WHILE I STILL SUPPORTED YOU FINANCIALLY WITH WHAT LITTLE I HAD AND WHAT I BORROWED SO THAT THERE WAS NO CHANCE OF ME FINDING OUT THE TRUTH. THE TRUTH THAT YOU HAD BEEN HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH A WOMAN YOU WERE WORKING WITH AND HAD MOVED IN WITH HER.
YOU DIDN’T EVEN TELL ME THAT YOU FILED FOR DIVORCE, A FRIEND OF THE OTHER WOMAN DID THAT, SHE DIDN’T TRUST YOU, DIDN’T LIKE YOU , KNEW SOMETHING WAS NOT RIGHT. SO SHE RANG ME. THEN YOU LIED IN YOUR DIVORCE APPLICATION AND STATED THAT YOU DID NOT KNOW WHERE I WAS AND HAD NO CONTACT WITH ME .
MORE LIES.
I WAS IN HOSPITAL AFTER I SURVIVED THE SU***DE ATTEMPT YOU CONVINCED ME WAS THE ONLY WAY WE COULD BE TOGETHER BECAUSE YOU WERE IN SO MUCH PAIN AND COULDNT LIVE WITHOUT ME AND THAT WAY WE WOULD BE TOGETHER FOREVER. YOU RANG AND TALKED TO ME WHILE I TOOK THE SLEEPING PILLS AND SAID YOU WERE DOING THE SAME. MORE LIES, YOU HAD NO INTENTION OF DOING IT, YOU JUST WANTED ME OUT OF THE WAY AND AS WE WERE STILL MARRIED YOU WOULD GET MY INSURANCE AND IT WOULD VERIFY ALL THE LIES YOU TOLD PEOPLE ABOUT ME. HOW CRAZY I WAS. HOW UNSOUND I WAS. HOW ABUSIVE I WAS.
BUT UNFORTUNATELY FOR YOU SOMEONE CAME TO VISIT ME THAT NIGHT AND FOUND ME IN TIME.
SO WHEN THE HOSPITAL RANG YOU , YOU DENIED ALL KNOWLEDGE, INSISTED YOU DIDN’T KNOW WHERE I WAS AND YOU WENT TO PLAN B.
YOU LIED AGAIN. TOLD EVERYONE YOU DIDN’T KNOW WHERE I WAS , HAD NO CONTACT WITH ME AND FILED FOR DIVORCE .
NOT QUITE SURE WHAT YOU HOPED TO ACCOMPLISH WITH THAT. MAYBE JUST TO GET RID OF ME AND MARRY THE LATEST ONE BEFORE I WORKED OUT WHAT YOU WERE UP TO??

BUT NOW AFTER YEARS OF SELF DOUBT, SELF BLAME AND GUILT, I FINALLY SEE AND ACCEPT THAT I AM NOT USELESS, NOT WORTHLESS, NOT STUPID.
YOU PICKED ME BECAUSE I WAS ME, BECAUSE I WAS BETTER THAN YOU , BECAUSE I HAD WHAT YOU WANTED.
I WAS A WIDOW , WITH MONEY, AN INCOME FROM MY LATE HUSBAND , A WELL PAID JOB, A HOUSE, A NEW CAR, EVERYTHING YOU WANTED AND DIDN’T HAVE.
SO IT WASN’T ME THAT NEEDED YOU. IT WAS YOU THAT NEEDED ME.

BUT NOW I KNOW THE TRUTH. I KNOW HOW WORTHWHILE I AM.
I SURVIVED YOU, I SURVIVED YOUR CRUELTY, YOUR LIES, YOUR MANIPULATION, YOUR ABUSE AND YOUR GASLIGHTING.
I KNOW THAT YOU WERE NOTHING WITHOUT ME, JUST AN EMPTY SHELL WAITING TO BE FILLED BY TAKING FROM SOMEONE ELSE. WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO MAKE YOU FEEL SUPERIOR AND BETTER THAN THEM.

THE SAD THING IS… YOU’RE STILL NOTHING, YOUR NOTHING UNLESS YOU HAVE SOMEONE TO USE, ABUSE, LIE TO, TO LOOK DOWN ON , IT’S THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF FEEL GOOD AND LOOK INNOCENT TO THOSE AROUND YOU.

NOW IT’S 2024.

I KNOW ALL ABOUT COERCIVE CONTROL, MANIPULATION, GASLIGHTING AND MOST IMPORTANTLY… I KNOW A NARCISSIST AS SOON AS THEY OPEN THEIR MOUTH.

I AM HAPPY AND CONTENT, I STILL HAVE PROBLEMS TRUSTING PEOPLE BUT I’M WORKING ON THAT.
I HAVE A NICE APARTMENT IN A HIGH RISE BUILDING, A DECENT CAR, AN INCOME FOR LIFE,THANKS TO MY LATE HUSBAND AND THE WAY HE SET IT UP , I EVENTUALLY PAID OFF ALL THE DEBT YOU LEFT, I WANT FOR NOTHING, MY INSURANCE GOES TO MY CHILDREN AND NO ONE CAN TOUCH MY INCOME AS ITS SET UP TO PAY ME A MONTHLY AMOUNT FOR LIFE AND CANNOT BE CHANGED AND ON MY PASSING IT GOES TO MY CHILDREN. I LIVE A COMFORTABLE AVERAGE LIFE WITH NO FINANCIAL PROBLEMS.

THEN THERE IS YOU…

YOU HAVE HAD 10 PLUS JOBS AT 10 DIFFERENT COMPANIES SINCE 2012. YOU HAVE STARTED UP 4 COMPANIES OF YOUR OWN THAT WENT NOWHERE AND YOU SCAMMED PEOPLE TO INVEST IN.
SO YOU’RE STILL DOING THE SAME THINGS, TELLING THE SAME LIES TO GET WHAT YOU WANT AND ALL YOU HAVE TO SHOW FOR YEARS OF LIES IS THE FACT THAT YOU’RE OLDER NOW AND NOT AS CONVINCING. PEOPLE KNOW YOUR A SCAMMER, A LIAR, A CHEAT, A THIEF.
YOU CAN’T KEEP A JOB FOR MORE THAN A FEW MONTHS OR A YEAR .
YOU STILL HAVE TO USE OTHERS TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK AND FEEL GOOD.

YOU ARE BEING WATCHED , THE INDUSTRY YOU WORK IN IS ONE WHERE PEOPLE GET KNOWN AND YOUR KNOWN FOR BEING UNTRUSTWORTHY, INCOMPETENT, INEXPERIENCED AND HAVING SO CALLED QUALIFICATIONS THAT DON’T MATCH UP TO YOUR RESULTS.

YOU’RE TOO OLD NOW TO GET A POSITION WHERE YOU WILL SUCCEED. TO MANY YOUNG ONES COMING UP THAT DO HAVE THE QUALIFICATIONS YOU PRETEND TO HAVE. TO OLD TO EMPLOY.
YOUR LAST BUSINESS VENTURE WENT BUST , FORCED TO PAY BACK MONEY FOR WORK YOU DID NOT DO. MAKING CUSTOMISED TRAILERS COULD HAVE BEEN A PROFITABLE BUSINESS BUT ONCE AGAIN YOU SCREWED IT UP BY TAKING MONEY AND NOT DOING THE WORK AND MAKING EXCUSES. BUT THIS TIME YOU WERE CALLED OUT ON IT . HAVING A COUPLE OF GUYS HALF YOUR AGE FRONT YOU AND DEMAND THEIR MONEY BACK I THINK SCARED YOU A BIT SO YOU GAVE IT ALL BACK AND THEN WITHOUT WARNING YOU NEW ENDEAVOUR WAS SUDDENLY “ CLOSED PERMANENTLY” AS IT SAID ON YOUR WEBSITE.
HOW DO I KNOW THIS? BECAUSE THEY FOUND OUT MY PHONE NUMBER AND CALLED ME. TOLD ME WHAT YOU DID AND WHAT THEY DID TO YOU.

DO I HATE YOU? NO!! DO I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU? ?NO!!. DO I EVEN CARE ABOUT YOU ONE WAY OR THE OTHER? NO!!
I AM KEPT UP TO DATE BY THOSE IN YOUR INDUSTRY OF CHOICE WHO HAVE BECOME FRIENDS OVER THE YEARS AND KEEP OTHERS INCLUDING MYSELF UP TO DATE AS TO WHERE YOU ARE AND WHAT YOUR DOING , IT’S BECOME A SORT OF SUPPORT TEAM FOR THE TRUTH. THE SAME AS THEY SHARE INFORMATION BETWEEN THEMSELVES ABOUT YOU BECAUSE THEY DO NOT TRUST YOU OR LIKE YOU..
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
SO YOU SEE, KARMA CATCHES UP WITH THE NARCISSIST, THEY GET OLD FOR ONE THING AND HAVE NOTHING TO SHOW FOR THEIR LIFE. NO FRIENDS, NO FAMILY WHO CARE ABOUT THEM.

You do not need them , you never did. They lied to you and used COERCIVE CONTROL to convince you that you were nothing without them.
BUT THE TRUTH IS , THEY NEEDED YOU AND WERE NOTHING WITHOUT YOU..
SO GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE, BE HAPPY AND SUCCESSFUL .
YOU CAN DO IT.
BECAUSE THEY NEVER WILL BE HAPPY, SUCCESSFUL AND THAT’S HOW YOU WIN.
SO DON’T HIDE ANY LONGER, FREE YOURSELF.
STAND UP AND TELL YOUR STORY.

“Eaving”.

25/04/2024

FACT.
26.04.24

After almost 11 years of learning all about NPD , talking to hundreds of people in different countries, of different ages , different financial situations, different economic backgrounds, different personal situations, different educational standards, professionals and nonprofessionals and both male and female , I have learnt one thing that never changes.
A Narcissist does the same thing over and over again, they stick to the same methods of getting what they want. Just the places , the companies and the people change.

I was informed the other day that the latest company my exNarcissist started up has suddenly closed down. What a shock!!! LOL. so just proves he is still doing the same things and using others to get what he wants.
I wont name it but if anyone wants to know then just give me a call.
Even though i am not interested in what he is doing i do I appreciate that some take the time to keep me updated and i still get the occasional person asking questions about him.
About his past actions etc. if i can give them an answer then i will. His resume/ cv is full of omissions and just straight out lies. So stop believing the written references he includes and actually contact the person giving the reference and ask them straight out. You will be surprised or maybe not, with the answers you get.

So, on to my latest article which covers part of this behaviour. Behaviour that never really changes but is just adjusted to suit the current target.

The Narcissist will paint their own version of events that will always paint you as the problem or someone else as the reason for another failure.
It was your or someone else’s actions, character, abuse, anger, fraud that has caused the problems. It was never anything that they ever did wrong.
They have to do this because if they tell it any other way it makes them look bad and others just might take a closer look at them and see the truth.
This is something that can never happen.
So you or someone else has to be the villain, the thief, the abuser, the liar in their story so that they can be the innocent victim.

So let’s make it easy for those who support and feel sorry for the poor abused Narcissist to get a real picture of what happened, the unabridged and true facts, not the fantasy tale they tell.
So get ready for what they should be telling you, the victim and their support team of admirers.
I LIED TO YOU FROM THE START ABOUT EVERYTHING.
I GASLIGHTED YOU EVERY DAY TO KEEP THE TRUTH HIDDEN.
I MANIPULATED YOUR EMOTIONS AND THOSE YOU CARED ABOUT TO MY OWN ADVANTAGE.
I CHEATED ON YOU AS SOON AS I FOUND A SUITABLE REPLACEMENT FOR YOU, WHICH DIDN'T TAKE LONG.
I BANKRUPTED YOU FINANCIALLY AND YOU JUST KEPT GIVING.
I ISOLATED YOU FROM YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS, MY STORY OF WANTING TO BE ALONE WITH YOU REALLY WORKED.
I SLOWLY DESTROYED YOUR SELF ESTEEM AND SELF WORTH. TO KEEP YOU DEPENDANT ON ME.
I COMPLAINED ABOUT YOU TO ANYONE AND EVERYONE , ESPECIALLY TO THOSE WHO DIDN’T KNOW YOU PERSONALLY. WHY?? TO SET YOU UP TO TAKE THE FALL OF COURSE..:)
I ABANDONED YOU WHEN I HAD EVERYTHING I WANTED FROM YOU BUT STILL KEPT YOU TIED TO ME AND CONFUSED TO SET YOU UP AS UNSTABLE.
I DESTROYED YOU TO MAKE YOU LOOK UNSTABLE TO ANYONE YOU COMPLAINED TO.
I NEVER FELT ANY GUILT BECAUSE I DESERVED TO GET WHAT I WANTED BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY, YOU WERE ONLY EVER THE MEANS TO AN END FOR ME.

NOW THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS, THE TRUE SIDE. THE ONE THE NARCISSISTS SUPPORT TEAM AND FLYING MONKEYS NEVER EVER HEARS.

WHEN I ASKED YOU TO EXPLAIN WHY YOU DID OR SAID CERTAIN THINGS . YOU GOT DEFENSIVE , ANGRY AND TURNED IT BACK ON TO ME FOR NOT SUPPORTING YOU AND COMPLAINING. EVERYTHING YOU DID , YOU DID FOR US.
WHEN THINGS WENT WRONG YOU NEVER TOOK RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT , IT WAS ALWAYS MY FAULT IN SOME WAY.
YOU TURNED YOUR DRAMAS INTO MY DRAMAS AND LEFT ME FEELING CONFUSED, “ WAS I REALLY AT FAULT”? BUT I APOLOGISED ANYWAY AND TOOK THE BLAME.
YOUR LIES AND MADE UP STORIES WERE YOUR WAY OF DEALING WITH REALITY AND THE TRUTH. YOU WERE NEVER IN THE WRONG, IT WAS ALWAYS ME WHO WAS.
ON THE RARE OCCASION THAT YOU EVER APOLOGISED IT WAS NEVER MEANT AND ONLY USED AS A QUICK WAY TO SHUT ME DOWN.
ANY MISTAKES I EVER MADE WAS THROWN BACK AT ME TO DEFUSE A SITUATION AND CONFUSE ME . BUT YOUR MISTAKES NEVER HAPPENED, I MADE THEM UP TO MAKE YOU LOOK BAD.

ANY RELATIONSHIP WITH A NARCISSIST IS ALWAYS ONE SIDED , SET UP BY THEM TO ALWAYS BE ONE STEP IN FRONT OF YOU.
MARRIAGE, FRIENDSHIP, PARTNERSHIP, CO-WORKER , DOESN'T MATTER, YOU MEAN NOTHING TO THEM OTHER THAN A WAY TO GET WHAT THEY WANT AND THAT YOU CAN SUPPLY. THEY WILL ONLY KEEP YOU CLOSE UNTIL YOU ARE OF NO FURTHER USE.

YOU WILL BE LEFT CONFUSED, IN SHOCK, DOUBTING YOUR OWN SANITY, DOUBTING YOUR REALITY, DOUBTING YOUR TRUTH.
YOU WERE TARGETED, YOU WERE FOOLED AND CONNED, USED AND ABUSED , YOU WERE LEFT WONDERING “ WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED”? BECAUSE YOUR LIFE IS IN SHAMBLES, THE PERSON YOU LOVED, TRUSTED, RESPECTED HAS GONE AND IT’S YOUR FAULT, YOU OBVIOUSLY DID SOMETHING SO WRONG BUT YOU CAN’T FIGURE OUT WHAT.””OR YOUR CAREER OR BUSINESS IS DESTROYED BY SOMEONE WHO YOU TRUSTED , WHO YOU HELPED,
YOU ARE NOW IGNORED AND THE BLAME PUT ON YOU. FAMILY, FRIENDS AND COLLEGES TREAT YOU AS A SICK EVIL ABUSER , WHO LOOK AT YOU IN A DIFFERENT WAY AND OSTRACISE YOU..
WHILE THE NARCISSIST WALKS AWAY FREE AND CLEAR THE VICTIM IN ALL THIS WHO IS SUPPORTED AND HELPED AND BECOMES A HERO WHO OVERCAME ALL THAT YOU DID.

I THINK I GOT IT ALL COVERED. IF YOU CARE TO ADD TO IT PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DO SO. AS WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN VERSION ON THE SAME THEME.

“Eaving”.

24/02/2024

FACT
24/02/24

Ok. so you know or knew someone who was a narcissist.
A family member, a friend, a partner or spouse, a work colleague, a team member, a committee member, whatever and everywhere.
So I am sure you have all heard and been accused of the following.

You set boundaries and are told you're being unreasonable or selfish.
If you stand up for what's right or for others you're just being vindictive and don't know what youre talking about.
If you do what's best for you you're told you're being selfish and greedy.
If you react to being abused and misused you're told you're stupid cruel and unreasonable.
When you know they are wrong and argue against it you're told you're crazy and delusional.
When you complain about them spending too much money you're told you're selfish and a miser.
When you are verbally abused you’re told that you’re overreacting or you deserved it because you started it.
And when they physically abuse you its because you made them do it. You should have done what they told you.

Sound familiar?
Ring any bells??

Narcissists, no matter who they are, are always right , are always in the right.
And you are always wrong and in the wrong and always cause them to be strict with you.

The worst thing is that over time you actually believe what they say, it's drummed into you so often.
You lose yourself, your individuality,your ability to be yourself to know whats right and wrong, what is the truth and the lies. So you become to the outside world exactly what they say you are, because you act the way they want you to. Confused, unsure, always apologetic, agree with them all the time, make excuses for them.

So they not only control you… but they also control how others see you.
This gives them the power and control they want not only with you but with everyone around them. Others see them as being honest, kind, loyal and the long suffering victim and you as the deranged abuser.
So that when they leave you or the company or the committee then they are the one who gets the sympathy and you get the blame as they move on to their next target, place of employment or activity and do it all over again.

“Eaving”.

24/01/2024

FACT.
All Narcissists have a pattern that they follow, they do the same things over and over again in their personal lives and in the workplace. They use smoke and mirrors to hide who and what they are, so look behind the words and actions and you will see the real person.
So check their past behaviour to see what their present and future behaviour is and will be because::: IT WILL REPEAT OVER AND OVER.

Some things you should never overlook and ignore are ::
If they have cheated in their past relationships then they will cheat in their future relationships.
They really see nothing wrong with this, to them it's a means to an end of what they want and feel entitled to have.
So it's a given that if they cheated with you then they will eventually cheat on you once they get whatever it was you had and could give to them.
THAT IS A PROVEN FACT.
You are nothing more to them than a source of supply.

If they abused and used previous partners either physically, emotionally, financially , then they will do the same to any future partners.
They actually see nothing wrong in this, as again it's a means to getting something they want.
If they have treated co-workers badly in the past or sabotaged an employer in the past , then they will do it again and again in the future.

They paint others as the abuser to everyone around them especially their next target ( partner),
So you become the villain in their story and everyone treats you as such. It can get to the point where you begin to believe this as well, because they seem so happy with the new partner , who unbeknown to them is actually their next target of supply.

This is how Narcissists work, even after they have left they are still emotionally abusing you, they have to so that they can keep their story straight, the more irrational you are, the more confused you are , the more they are believed in the lies they have told about you.they get satisfaction from it and it makes them feel superior in knowing that they have everyone fooled. It's an ego trip for them.

Don't just take their word for the past as they tell it, actually take the time to check it out.
All those they say who have abused them, who have used them, will have a different story to tell.
This applies to every part of their life, personal relationships, friendships, co- workers, career choices and employment.

Never forget that you are there at this time to supply them with whatever it is they want, you are not permanent, you will be replaced when you have served your purpose. You are nothing more to them than a source of supply.

YOU DID NOTHING WRONG, YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME, THEY ARE.

Don't ever let them put the blame on you. It's all on them
Blaming you lets them off the hook and those they have fooled believe them and so they come out as the victim. Which is what they planned.
Tell your side, those who do not believe you will find out the hard way some time in the future.
Walk away with your head high, your dignity intact and your future ahead of you.
You don't need them, you don't need them to believe you , you never did,
And you never needed the Narcissist to complete you. BUT;; the NARCISSIST NEEDED YOU TO COMPLETE HIM / HER . And will continue to need others to complete them.

“Evening”
24/01/24.

03/01/2024

FACT.
In the past few years I have learnt a lot about NPD and Sociopaths through long talks with Therapists , victims and even some Narcissists, yes, some of them are very open about what they do to get what they want, why? Because as far as they are concerned they are so much smarter than you and you are so destroyed that you will not fight back. Unfortunately they are correct in this, some of us are too beaten to fight , which is why myself and others try to get the word out there and convince you that you are stronger than you think.
As one very smart person told me,,, “ when you hit that mountain that has been dropped in front of you , don't give up, put on a pair of boots and start climbing, the more you climb the easier it gets and you will get to the top.”

Narcissists and sociopaths cannot love, to them love is a weakness , a weakness they can exploit in others and they do.
They cannot care, caring makes you vulnerable and easy to manipulate, and they use this.
Lying is not wrong if it gets you what you want, it just makes it easier to achieve things.
S*x is overrated, yeah, you feel pleasure for a few minutes then you use it to get what you want.

This is how one Narcissist explained it to me.

It's easy to get what you want from anyone because you study people, learn about them, and only pick those who are vulnerable, who believe in love, caring and that good s*x means you care.
It's so easy to lie to people, to tell them what they want to hear, in the throws of passion they will believe anything.
The same things work with anyone most of the time, even without the s*x you only have to pretend to be what they want , tell them what they want to hear. It doesn't matter who they are, family, friends, business contacts, organisations, co-workers.
It depends on what you want from them.
You can be the strong experienced person who only wants to help them succeed and they trust you, while behind the scenes you are working to put them down. Then play the innocent when their career fails.
In a more intimate setting, you play the confused abused and used person that only wants to be loved and give love back . so their current partner/ wife/ husband / parent becomes a cruel abuser , emotionally, physically , financially.
So they think they are your saviour and go all out to help you.
This person finished the conversation by showing me how they could cry on demand to get sympathy and stated just how easy it was.

If you have been targeted as their potential savour or know someone who is being groomed for this role then show them this, they probably won't believe you but at least you will know you tried and will be there to help them pick up the pieces of their life after the Narcissist has got what they wanted and moved on, painting them as the problem and become the Poor Innocent, blameless once again abused one.

With a Narcissist, no one and I mean, NO ONE, is a permanent part of their life.
Once they get what they wanted, have found your replacement, then they are gone.
It might only be a few weeks or months but it can also be several years. They will use their host and suck then dry like the parasite they are but it's never permanent.
Accept the fact that no one is ever permanent in their life, everyone is temporary only to be used.
One thing that is important.
If they cheat with you , then they will eventually cheat on you.
That my friends, is a proven fact.

“Eaving”
First post of 2024.

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