09/09/2024
I sat next to this older gentleman on the cab on my way home. The kind gentleman upon noticing that I was experiencing trouble settling properly, with my laptop and grocery bag in either hands, offered to take the bag from me as he put it on his lap. I thanked him as the cab started driving off. As we made conversation, he asked if I understood the gesture and why he did (does) what he did, to which I replied with a “No.” He proceeded to then sharing a story of a certain gentleman whom he had met on his way to a wedding in Luanshya. As an event MC, he had been hired to host the wedding of a certain couple in Luanshya. On his way there, he came across a couple along the road who were having a car breakdown. He stopped to ask what the problem was and if he could be of help. The lady tried to accommodate him as the man on the hand was not as inviting; he claimed they had everything figured out and that the stranger who had just stopped to offer help did not strike him as someone with any motor vehicle mechanic knowledge. Nonetheless, with the help of the lady, he managed to diagnose the car and figured out what the problem was, and why their car engine could not start. He then fixed the airlock, and took to his leave. Before he could depart, the gentleman stopped to thank him and asked how much he was charging them. He responded with a “F*** you and drove off . I laughed but then it suddenly dawned on me that I was equally about to receive a "f** you; as I was about to offer to pay for his ride. Fortunately, I realized exactly the profound lesson he was trying to convey from his experience with kindness. We went on to talk about the human experience and how most of us are not as kind, and are un-expectant of kindness from others(….)
But we never learn do we? Earlier this evening after reaching home, I decided to go and buy a bag of charcoal(complying with ZESCO standards 😅) from across my house. I picked a few coins from the money I had thrown on my bed, coins I counted to be exactly K5. I reached that charcoal stand and handed the young lady the money and took the charcoal bag. I had not moved a meter away before the lady shouted out for my return. She politely said I had given her a K4 instead of a K5. I apologized as I was sure I had carried the exact amount. Since I did not carry any extra money on me, I asked if I could withdraw money there at the stand as they offered mobile money services as well. As I proceeded with the transaction, a gentleman who sat far right across the stand called to me, I returned to say I will see him right after I finish the transaction. He walked to me himself and handed me a K2 and said it was better than withdrawing extra money I didn’t plan for. I was warmed by the gesture and I thanked him and gave the lady for the charcoal the entire K2. If the MC was here I am sure he would have given me an F** you” for the thoughts that occupied my mind right after that gesture; I thought how I could repay the gentleman right there and then. Luckily, the MC’s lesson echoed so loudly at this point, I just offered my gratitude and made my way back home.
This evening as I sit and ponder of these two encounters, I am left with the question of why at times we are so unaccommodating and unresponsive to kindness and gestures not very familiar to us- it could be for the same reason, the unfamiliarity.
But I sat to think about how we deprive ourselves, and most importantly others, the opportunity and joy to contribute, even in the smallest way to our lives is a reason we deliberately do not believe in anything inherently good about people.
It is okay to lack at times, it is okay to be vulnerable at times, it is very much okay to not always have it figured out, we all need each other in the end.
That is the lesson in Kindness; give it out warmly and do not expect it back in return, because it shall surely be returned to you when it matters.
