28/01/2026
๐๐ธ๐ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ทโฆ
Nowโฆ things arenโt what we hoped they would be.
There is a little boy missing from our family photos.
Grief is a difficult road to navigate, and the trauma that walks alongside our loss is, quite honestly, debilitating. Some days we pull each other up; other days we sit in sorrow always making space for the moments when the misses hurt that little bit more.
November to January are always our hardest months to face. The memories come flooding back of a time when Noah was alive, undergoing surgery, and we were making long commutes to Sunninghill Hospital for our three visiting hours a day. Car-park milk expressing. Our two boys left with their grandparents while we tried our best to navigate the worry and unpredictability of each day - one step at a time, one hour at a time. And on critical daysโฆ minute by minute.
I couldnโt just hold the pain of losing my son. I had to do something with the heartache. It was too heavy to carry alone. So I gave it to God and He gave it purpose.
Visiting paediatric units takes on an entirely different mindset. In my own strength, I canโt breathe. Everything echoes, and the alarms pierce my ears. I need to faint, Iโm going to fall! But in Godโs strength, I can do all things. I pack, prepare, and give teddies to children who are going through the unimaginable.
They smile. They smile.
And the parents, well often they cry, overwhelmed that someone has thought of them. That someone, a stranger, is standing in front of them, offering a hug, a prayer, and a glimmer of hope. Reassurance that itโs ok, not to be ok.
The juxtaposition of these two photos is powerful: the same bed, just three years apart. Me and my babyโฆ and then me and my purpose.
Godโs love surrounds us in the most beautiful ways, and He truly is near to the broken-hearted. It is a privilege to serve Him through the pain and to be His light for families who are trusting for a miracle.
Iโm deeply thankful that hospitals have embraced this initiative with such openness and trust. I truly believe this is the beginning of decades of service.
In those moments when we hand out bears, itโs not about usโฆ itโs about them. While doctors do all they can medically, the emotional upliftment a simple teddy can bring is indescribable. A small gesture, symbolising love, care, and presence.
Noah, you opened our eyes to this world, and we will forever carry your memory and your story with us. Iโve always said itโs an eye for an eye; but Iโm changing that now.
Itโs heart to heart.
If youโve walked these steps, youโll know.
Youโll know.
โPraise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,
who comforts us in all our troubles,
so that we can comfort those in any trouble
with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.โ
2 Corinthians 1:3-4