02/12/2025
I sat in the rocking chair in the room off to the side of the church nursery. My baby had fallen asleep while nursing and I could tell from the sounds outside the walls that the service was over. Sounds of parents picking up their toddlers came from around the corner.
I suspected she was well passed her baby feeding days. She smiled at me and then frowned at the speaker on the wall. "Was this off the whole time?"
I told her yes and I couldn't figure out how to turn it on so I just sat in the quiet space with my baby while she fed.
"That was probably a spiritual experience itself" I could tell she was only half joking. Sitting in quiet with just my baby was, actually, pretty divine.
Her name was Kathy. She explained that she comes in regularly to make sure the nursing room was stocked. Nursing pads, ni**le cream, diapers, wipes, snacks, bottled water, and her card.
Tentatively she told me that if I didn't want to miss the service to feed my baby in case the speaker was off, I could just stay in the sanctuary. No need to leave. Unless it made me more comfortable, the room wasn't available as a requirement, just as an option.
"And you don't have to worry about fiddling with a cover if you don't want to. Covers are for your comfort and they can be a real hassle and interfere with getting a good latch so if that doesn't work for you, don't worry about it, always put your baby first. Pastor is used to it, I've converted everyone.
I thanked her and told her I normally would just feed in the service.
"Did someone say something to you?" she asked, clearly ready to give someone a talking to.
Assuring her that wasn't the case, I shared that my baby was in a real "complete silence while I feed" phase and was too distracted and too tired to nurse in the service that morning.
Lowering herself into the giant bean bag chair across from me, she settled in to keep me company and chat. She asked me questions and told me about herself. She was a mom of 2 adults, had been at the church for a couple decades, she and her husband taught a class together, she was an L&D nurse in a local hospital, and she was an IBCLC.
I shared about how my baby was born with a heart defect, that she was my 5th, that we fought hard to have this nursing relationship and it was finally feeling a little more smooth in feeding her.
"You look like a pro" she told me. "If I could bottle up your confidence and give it to other new moms, I would."
Kathy's own confidence talking about feeding babies and offering reassurance to me that I could feed my baby wherever and however it worked for me was encouraging. Her boldness in offering support and the work she had done to influence the culture of that church community was something I admired. A tiny glimpse of what could be, what I hoped for the world, for anyone ever to feed a baby. I had already started TLB and I appreciated seeing in person what I was striving to do virtually. Kathy had normalized breastfeeding in our church and had done so in a way that met people where they are.
We went on to become friends and she would become, and still is, one of the biggest cheerleaders of TLB. Just like she was and still is one of the biggest cheerleaders of so many others.
***Pic of me nursing a different baby at a different church event.