23/09/2023
Right and Wrong
There is a spot in front of the Alumni Building at the University of Ibadan. Some concrete chairs opposite each other surrounded by manicured rows of flowers. It was out in the open but secret at the same time.
It was my favourite place to be when I needed to pray.
It was 1993 and I was there at about 6pm. I was alone as usual and was sited praying.
Five minutes later a guy with a backpack about my age showed up and sat right in front of me.
I raised my voice in prayer to signal to him what was going on but he wasn’t bothered.
I stole a look with one eye opened, both my hands spread out over my face like a fan as he unzipped his bag and brought out a big wrap of w**d.
This can’t be happening! I got here first. This is a public space and Ma*****na was and is still illegal in Nigeria. This is a jail able offence!
This is wrong. Totally unacceptable!
These were thoughts under my breath as I continued to pray.
Then he fired a plume of smoke into the space between us.
I sent him a loud prayer to remind him of his delinquent behaviour.
These went on like a rhythm. He puffs the smoke, I say a loud prayer. It was a battle for the space between us. A space now occupied by smoky prayers.
I was looking at him hoping he would walk away but he just continued to puff away.
This is war and am not losing it.
I soldiered on and he didn’t care
With his wrap almost finished I noticed I was sweating. I felt thirsty, lightheaded and restless.
His roll of joint was almost finished and he would soon leave.
As he finished his joint and I was thankful under my breath. Winners never quit. Am a warrior.
He picked his bag up to leave or so it seemed until he brought out another roll of cannabis and lit it up.
My heart sank. At this point my heart was beating so fast I felt like passing out.
Is this how I will die? I asked my self and the “idiot” responsible was so relaxed, he looked like he was enjoying himself.
I pretended to pray-walk away from him as i took my leave hoping to make it to my bed 1km away in one piece.
As I laid in my bed with a headache I couldn’t believe i just smoked a big wrap of w**d. Worse still, I smoked it praying.
My heart was beating very fast, my head was dizzy and I slept off.
I was right.
He was wrong.
I paid for my right and it wasn’t worth it.
My right was wrong.
Being right is not always right.
Many times when we are right, it may be better to be wrong to save the day.
Imagine delivering a harsh truth to someone who is emotionally vulnerable. That will be wrong.
Correcting another person’s mistake in public might come across as condescending and may humiliate others. That is wrong
When you score a point in an argument, let it go. Being overly pedantic to prove your point presenting proof after proof that you are right makes you wrong.
If you are married and want to stay married you cannot insist on being right all the time. Sometimes compromising or apologizing even when you are right may be the best thing for the health of your relationship.
Yes, you are right but being right is not always enough. You must ensure you balance it with empathy.
The world is not as we think it is. It is as we are.
