03/14/2026
✩Tips for parents of disabled children✩
You can't always trust the schools to be honest with you about what happens there.
Principals can pull your child into an office and intimidate them into "admitting guilt" for "behavior issues" that are actually a well documented part of their disability. This is to build documentation for later action against them and you as a parent. Teach your kids to stay silent, never admit guilt, and to insist that the principal calls you when questioned.
Video footage of your child at the school is part of your child's records, and can be obtained by putting in a FERPA request. I highly recommend doing so if you ever feel suspicious about anything.
✩Tips for IEP/504 meetings✩
When you set up an IEP or 504 plan for your child, the school will try to deny accommodations by telling you "what they think is best", "what is least restrictive", or other vague, slimy language. Don't let them. Stand firm on what your child needs, and don't let the school talk you out of it. Accommodations are not restrictions, and your child needs them more than the staff needs an easier job.
The school will try to rush you through the meeting. Don't let them. Go over every section with diligence, and set time for a longer meeting if needed. I have had these meetings take up to four hours. It was exhausting, and meetings that long are rare, but we did what was needed.
The school will try to drop accommodations during transitions to different grades, schools, etc. They will also try to drop accommodations before these transitions because "your kid needs to get ready for the next school/grade/etc". Nope. Don't let them take away things your child needs.
The school will try to use vague language in your child's plan, which makes it impossible to enforce. Use painfully clear language that cannot be ignored and will hold them accountable. Examples:
"Provide extra time" Is vague. "Provide 50% extra time for assignments and tests, and document times" is better.
"Use assistive technology as needed" is vague. "Use this specific tech for this specific purpose" is better.
"As needed", "when needed", and things like that are just an excuse for staff to say they didn't think it was needed. Vague terms are cracks in the system that your child can fall through.
Make sure all of your child's evaluations are being done in a timely manner. If they aren't, your child could have needs that nobody is aware of.
Your therapists, teachers, and other team members have to watch what they say and can't push back on the school too much without retaliation, but you can say whatever you want. It's on you to make sure your child gets what they need, and it won't happen if it's not in the plan.
You can call another meeting at any time to adjust your child's plan.
You can have anyone at that meeting that you want. There are disability advocates that can join the meeting via zoom and are very helpful.
