Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child

06/19/2026

I remember wondering why in the world I was just.so.tired. after Dominic ran ahead to Heaven.

The first couple of years it took great effort to do ANYTHING.

Twelve years later, I’ve gotten much of my energy back but there are days…

Grief is work. It is important and necessary WORK.

06/19/2026

I can’t pretend to understand exactly what it feels like to be a father who buries a child.

I’ve only been able to watch from the outside as my husband absorbed the impact of that great wound.

But I can tell you this: for dads, like moms, each holiday is another mile marker on the road of grief.

It is another poignant reminder that things are not as they were-they are not as they should be.

I can’t pretend to understand exactly what it feels like to be a father who buries a child. I’ve only been able to watch from the outside as my husband absorbed the impact of that great wound. But …

06/18/2026

Father’s Day can be an especially difficult holiday for bereaved dads.

We see you.

We are praying for you.

06/18/2026

Like it or not the stereotype often rings true: women emote and men clam up.

I see it play out every day in the online support groups to which I belong. If you check the member list there are quite a number of dads in the mix but it’s exceedingly rare that one of them posts or comments.

I get it. I’m a wife and mother to three boys (now men). All of them are better at compartmentalizing difficult situations and pushing down emotions than I am.

When I have something heavy on my heart it almost always spills out and splashes across everything else.

They, on the other hand, will sit on sadness or anxiety or the never-ending missing that makes up child loss/sibling loss until it finally becomes more than even their iron-clad emotional chests can hold.

Even then they often weep in private, mourn in secret.

Like it or not the stereotype often rings true: women emote and men clam up. I see it play out every day in the online support groups to which I belong. If you check the member list there are quite…

06/17/2026

I know that when I first stumbled onto a bereaved parent group, it was one of the things I was looking for: evidence that the overwhelming pain of child loss would not last forever.

Some days I was encouraged as those who had traveled farther down this path posted comments affirming that they could feel something other than sorrow. Some days I was devastated to read comments from parents who buried a child decades ago asserting that “it never gets better”.

Who is right?

What’s the difference?

Do I have any control over whether or not this burden gets lighter?

It has been over twelve years since Dominic ran ahead to Heaven and I’ve learned a few things since then.

I know that when I first stumbled onto a bereaved parent group, it was one of the things I was looking for: evidence that the overwhelming pain of child loss would not last forever.  …

06/16/2026

I do NOT believe child loss was visited upon me to teach me something but I HAVE learned a few things on this unwanted journey.

This is my top ten.

What would you add?

06/16/2026

Shame is one of the most crippling aspects of child loss. Depending on the circumstances surrounding your child's last days on earth, it can be compounded by friends, family and even strangers who speculate, comment or simply give a parent "that look".

It's true that we all MAKE mistakes but none of us ARE mistakes.

Grief work is, in part, embracing this life we didn't choose.But it is also letting go of feelings, identities and burdens placed upon our broken hearts by ourselves and others.

Shame tells us we are unworthy of love and belonging and that is simply a lie.

Shame is one of the most crippling aspects of child loss. Depending on the circumstances surrounding your child’s last days on earth, it can be compounded by friends, family and even stranger…

06/15/2026

Borrowed from While We’re Waiting:

Today is "National Smile Power Day"! If you have a photo of your child smiling, we would LOVE for you to share it here .. 😊

06/15/2026

Bereaved Fathers can sometimes be forgotten grievers.

But they shouldn’t he.

Father’s Day is just as difficult for thrm as Mother’s Day is for bereaved mothers.

So how can you support bereaved dads in your life? This graphic offers some good ideas.

06/15/2026

There are lots of opportunities for offense surrounding the death of a child.

Once your heart is broken open wide with great sorrow, there’s no defense against the bumps and bruises that are a natural product of human relationship and interaction.

Friends and family that didn’t show up. Friends and family that showed up but said or did the wrong thing. Friends and family that abandoned me as soon as the casket closed.
People that make me feel guilty for grieving or question my sanity or my “progress”.

But I’m learning to let go of offense.

Not only because it is too heavy to carry in addition to my grief, but because the Lord has commanded it.

There are lots of opportunities for offense surrounding the death of a child. Once your heart is broken open wide with great sorrow, there’s no defense against the bumps and bruises that are a natu…