Heartache and Hope: Life After Losing a Child

11/06/2026

Encouragement Matters!

Every autumn I hear the geese overhead and I think about how all that honking serves only a single purpose: to remind the stragglers they are headed in the right direction. It speaks courage to my own heart as I remember that not only does the leader call out to those behind, but that each bird takes a turn at the head of the line so that the others can rest a bit....

Every autumn I hear the geese overhead and I think about how all that honking serves only a single purpose:  to remind the stragglers they are headed in the right direction. It speaks courage …

11/05/2026

One of the things I did in the early days of grief was to keep telling my heart the truth until it could hear it.

I had verses taped on the bathroom mirror, on my kitchen cabinet, on the posts of my bed- anywhere my eyes might land.

It was too easy to let the enemy’s lies or my own fears take hold if I didn’t.

11/05/2026

You don’t need to be perfect, just be present!

Often, the quiet companionship of a friend helps a desperate heart hold on to Hope.

11/05/2026

Every Grief Journey is Unique

It’s a nearly universal human tendency to try to fit another’s experience into our own.

Even though I try hard not to, I still often find myself saying things like, “I know just how you feel” or, “This worked for me, it ought to work for you”. Trouble is, grief is as individual as a fingerprint.

The life that was shared before loss, the circumstances surrounding the loss, family structure, support systems (or lack thereof!), age, social connections, faith, friends and fears all shape how a particular person experiences and processes loss.

However you make it through this Valley is just fine. There’s no right way or wrong way to grieve.

As long as you are not harming yourself or others (physically or emotionally) then carry on, dear heart.

It’s a nearly universal human tendency to try to fit another’s experience into our own. Even though I try hard not to, I still often find myself saying things like, “I know just how you feel” or, “…

11/04/2026

Grief lasts as long as love…

11/04/2026

11/04/2026

Presence is More Powerful Than You Think!

It’s tempting to avoid someone when their world is dark.

It’s uncomfortable to choose to enter their pain. But Jesus has called us to walk beside the suffering, to encourage the disheartened and to lift up the ones who stumble.

There are no magic words to erase heartache.

Only presence.

And isn’t that why Jesus came?

We are most like our Savior when we are willing to leave our place of comfort and venture into the threatening world of another’s pain and suffering.

For fifty years I was on the “other side”-the one where I looked on, sad and sometimes horror-stricken, at the pain and sorrow friends or family had to bear. I wanted to help. I wanted to say the “…

11/03/2026

You may think that mentioning my child’s name will make me *sad*.

I’m already sad.

When you say his name my heart rejoices knowing he’s remembered.

11/03/2026

This is a unique feature of child loss.

It’s normal and expected that children outlive their parents. No parent imagines a future without his or her son or daughter.

Every time a milestone WOULD have been reached but isn’t, a memory made without them, a holiday, vacation, family reunion or wedding takes place and they aren’t there, grief rises fresh in a parent’s heart.

Be gentle with yourself. ❤️

11/03/2026

I Am Not The Same Person

I have had my share of pain in life-physical, emotional and psychological. Some of it I’ve brought on myself and some of it has been thrust upon me.

None of it was pleasant.

But by far the most excruciating pain I have endured is the death of my son. If someone could have induced this pain for five minutes as a preview before Dominic ran ahead to heaven, I would have sworn I couldn’t have withstood it for five minutes more.

Yet here I am not just minutes or months but years later. Still standing.

How? By the grace of God and by choosing to transform that pain into something besides just pain.

I have had my share of pain in life-physical, emotional and psychological. Some of it I’ve brought on myself and some of it has been thrust upon me. None of it was pleasant. But by far the most exc…