08/08/2026
Grief is strange.
You can be having a good day. You can be productive. You can be building your business, working on your purpose, laughing with friends, making plans for your future and genuinely feeling okay.
And then… grief shows up.
Today, I was scrolling through my nonprofit page and came across a question:
“What song makes you think of your son?”
My answer will always be Sade — Nothing Can Come Between Us.
I remember riding in the car with my son, Xavier, one day while that song was playing. He was always the kind of person who wanted to understand the “why” behind things. He asked me what the song meant.
We talked about it.
Then he looked at me and said, “So nothing can come between us, Mama?”
I told him, “No. Nothing.”
He asked, “Not even death?”
And I said, “Never.”
Three months later, my son was murdered.
Sometimes I think about that conversation and wonder if he was preparing me for something I didn’t yet understand.
Today, years later, I can still remember exactly where I was, exactly how he sounded, exactly how that conversation felt.
That’s the thing about grief.
It doesn’t always announce itself.
Sometimes you’re fine.
Sometimes you’re laughing.
Sometimes you’re angry.
Sometimes you’re building something beautiful.
And sometimes you’re simply sitting there scrolling through your phone and one sentence takes you right back to a moment you haven’t visited in a while.
One minute you’re okay.
The next minute you’re crying because you remember the sound of your child’s voice.
You remember their smile.
You remember hugging them.
You remember who they were becoming.
And then reality hits again:
I will never physically touch my son again.
That’s a hard truth to carry.
But I also know this:
The love didn’t die when he did.
The memories didn’t die.
The lessons didn’t die.
The impact he made on me didn’t die.
And neither did my purpose.
So if grief found you today, I want you to know you’re not doing it wrong.
You don’t have to be “over it.”
You don’t have to be strong every day.
You don’t have to explain why you’re okay one moment and falling apart the next.
Grief can coexist with joy.
Grief can coexist with purpose.
Grief can coexist with healing.
And grief can coexist with love.
I miss my baby.
And I will always love him.
Nothing can come between us.
Not even death. 🤍
— Brenda, Authoe, Motivational Speaker, CEO & Founder of Elements of Life Nonprofit Organization
