10/22/2026
**Why We Divide, and How We Can Grow**
Reflection: Belief, Politics & Belonging
**TL;DR:** None of us chose the family, culture, or place we were born into. Yet they shape most of what we believe, about faith and about politics. Every group has its own values, including mine. What matters most is what we do with them. If we listen with reason and compassion, we can find the values we share and grow together.
I've been thinking about why we're so divided. I've come to believe it comes down to belonging more than doctrine or policy. What god someone worships, or which party they vote for, often matters less than the group they call home.
None of us chose the family we were born into. We didn't choose our culture or where in the world we started out, either. Our family is the first culture we ever know. We picked up its values before we could question them. Where we were born shapes a lot of it too. A child raised in Kansas, Cairo, or Kyoto will likely grow up with different beliefs, and each will feel just as sure. Inside every big culture are smaller ones. Some call them subcultures. I prefer co-cultures, because no group is lesser than another.
This doesn't mean anyone's beliefs are unexamined. Many people question what they were raised with and still choose to keep it. Some even find their way into a tradition later in life. Where we start shapes us. It doesn't decide everything.
Faith and politics often get bundled together. For many families, church, community, and how you vote all come as one package. Question one piece, and it can feel like you're turning your back on all of it. That's why political arguments can feel so personal. They're often about who we are and where we belong.
Traditions carry real value. They give people roots, comfort, and a sense of home. And for some, the culture they were born into never felt like home. Some were pushed out for who they are or what they questioned. I see you too.
I understand this firsthand. For eight years I served as a Seventh-day Adventist Bible worker. I taught scripture, helped run a food pantry, and visited the sick and elderly. That community was my home. When my questions led me out of the faith in 2002, leaving was hard. For a lot of people, questioning means risking everything they know. It took me about 20 more years of reading and questioning to find where I stand today. Some values I let go. Others I kept, like caring for the people around me.
Belonging has a shadow side. The same pull that brings us together can turn us against outsiders. Fear of the other can grow into hate. I've felt that hate aimed at me for what I believe. I try hard not to send it back.
When someone outside our group disagrees, it can feel like an attack on who we are. We forget they have their own values, their own families, and their own reasons. That goes for the neighbor at a different church, and for the one with a different yard sign.
In the end, what matters most is what we do with our beliefs. If they cause harm, I'm against that. If they heal and help, I'm for that. Seeing someone's humanity doesn't mean giving up on fairness. I can understand where a view comes from and still speak up when it hurts people.
I'm part of a co-culture too. I'm a Humanist. Humanism is humans helping humans through reason, compassion, and ethics. I lean toward change more than tradition, and I'll be honest about that. My group has blind spots just like anyone else's.
Here's what I believe moves us forward. Reason, compassion, and the values we share as humans. Most of us want our kids safe, our neighbors cared for, and a fair shot at a good life. I want us to keep growing, here in Topeka and all around the world. Standing still won't get us there. I know many people disagree, and change can feel uncomfortable. I respect that, as long as no one is being harmed.
So here's my challenge. Next time someone disagrees with you, about God or about government, try asking what they value and why. You might be surprised how much you have in common.
We won't always be right. Growth starts when we're willing to admit that.
Now I'd love to hear from you. What's one value you were raised with that you still hold, and one you've let go?
[Image created by Claude; curated by The Secular Sean]
