05/30/2026
The humanist part of me doesn’t want see anyone fail, doesn’t want see anyone in pain and doesn’t want see the one they loved go to jail. What I did want . . . or hoped for was to get through to him - to see some empathy and to see some remorse. To see that soul revealed and open back up instead of validating their bad behavior. I was not celebrating like some. I was holding on to that little bit of hope in humanity, but I realized that person had died. . . because what I saw on his face was absolutely nothing. I read a testimony that poured my heart out. There was no emotion. His face was like stone. There is no soul as that part of the person I loved was dead.
I still hold on to believing in the goodness of people. I have too.
Every word I spoke was bitter truth I never thought I’d speak outloud. But I did. I never thought I’d live som**hing as horrible as this. And then relive it …In front of a judge, court reporters, lawyers, my friend, and the man I called my best friend for 7yrs. (As well as a few m**h heads that appeared to be awaiting their moment in court lol)
I debated for a long time about whether to post this. I’m a pretty private person, and sharing deeply personal things online is uncomfortable for me. I never wanted my pain to become public. I’ve grieved far more this week, than I have in months. You are never fully healed, and when you think you are som**hing like this cracks you right open again.
I know how isolating these situations can feel. How easy it is to question yourself, stay quiet, or believe you’re the only one going through it.
So if sharing this helps even one woman recognize red flags sooner, avoid getting involved with him — or someone like him — then it’s worth it to me. And if someone reading this has lived through som**hing similar, I hope you know you are not crazy, weak, or alone. You are not alone. It is not your fault. And you can get out of it.
This is my testimony:
Your Honor,
My name is Allison Bruns McCabe - I stand here to testify of the abuse endured by my husband, Laird Patrick McCabe and what he has inflicted on me and numerous other women.
What I experienced through our relationship has nearly destroyed me, and caused so much emotional and physical turmoil to myself and others. Laird McCabe is an ABUSIVE man and always will be. I was emotionally, mentally, physically and s*xually abused by this man. The most embarrassing part is that I let it happen - and gave all the love I had to him. I saw the beautiful soul deep within him and held tightly to that while ignoring my well being.
I can almost pinpoint the moment I got cancer. The toxic fight that happened over and over again about nothing, the forced s*x that followed so he could feel “loved” again. I remember thinking my only way out was death. I couldn’t leave and I couldn’t stay. Death was the only out. I felt as if there was no choice. I felt it to my core.
One evening I recall him drinking and we got in a fight - I was trying to keep him from leaving in my pickup and he wanted to go to the horse barn an hour away. It was around 1am. I remember trying to grab my keys and nearly broke them trying to pull them out of the ignition. I thought he was going to steal my truck and he was drunk.. I ended up driving to the barn. When we got there I went to get my stuff out of his tack room, pack up my trailer and load my horse and leave- I was done and couldn’t handle the relationship and told him I was leaving. He grabbed me from behind and felt like he put som**hing to my throat. He told me he’d kill me and no one would find me because he knows of places… places on the Indian reservation to bury bodies. I’ve never been so terrified in my life. I remember dropping the saddle I had in my arms and running to my pickup. I called the cops, but didn’t follow through because I didn’t want to disturb the barn owners and since I was locked in the truck I was safe. That was the first time I called the cops back in 2020.
Then he would apologize, and suddenly turn into the most incredible loving man - the perfect man - and I was sucked in again. But that is the cycle of a trauma bond.
Your Honor - I have documented testimony from my journal about the incidents that occurred during my cancer treatment and leading up to me calling the police.
Sept 11, 2025:
Yesterday everything seemed to come to a head and fall apart. Laird took my phone, and demanded I give him the passcode. Then he changed the passcode and locked me out and when I tried to leave physically wouldn’t let me go. I ended up running around the barn until I was able to get into the car and lock the doors. He ran and tried opening the car door, banging on the window and then pulled so hard on the door handle he broke it off! He threatened to call the cops which I told him to go right ahead! Then he started videoing me for some strange reason. I tried to drive away - he ran to the gate to close it before I got there. He jumped in front of the car and I slammed on the brakes. He continued to video me and said I tried to run him over. I felt like I was in crazy town. I just sat in the car.I didn’t know what else to do - I had no phone . . I then had the idea for him to call Patty Jo - he trusts her and thankfully he listened! She knew. She came over so quickly - She was able to get my phone from him and took me to her house. Thank God. We had a long chat and she had been in a similar abusive relationship when she was younger. When she took me back home after an hour or so Laird was high as a kite - which was good, it put him in a good mood albeit annoying. He told me in front of Patty Jo that he could easily get 5 girls on his dick right now. It was disgusting.
I told him this morning I was going to ask my parents for the money to get back to ITC. Laird didn’t want me to ask them without him there with me. I told him it was a personal conversation between me and my folks and needed to do this alone. He accused me of triangulating against him! I took matters into my own hands and went over to their house while he was at Roping Practice. He must’ve checked the cameras and saw the car gone. He called me while I was with my parents and accused me of lying and cheating. I had to send him a picture of my car at my parents to prove it. I sent him a long text apologizing and how much I loved him. He laughed. He ignored the text and never came home. I’ve been having a hard time holding it together. The timing with my healing is horrendous!!! The time when you need them most, they fail you.
October 8th, 2025:
Over the weekend there was a WSSH show. They added an aged event with added money so Laird entered the Derby and won and I entered the Futurity and tied for second! Laird was drinking and celebrating. I was tired - it was only a week ago I was getting chemo in Mexico so the weekend was a bit hard on me – I needed to rest. – then everything took a dark turn. I don’t even know what triggered it, but Laird started holding me in bed, but not holding me – restraining me so tight I couldn’t get away . . . I was claustrophobic. I finally squeezed out of his hold and went into the living room to get away from him. That’s when he came out and did it again – this time he put some wrestling move on me – he wrapped his arms around my chest and locked his wrists, then locked his legs around my thighs. I couldn’t move!!! His grip was so incredibly tight it hurt my chest, especially the pressure on the tumor in my breast – I was having trouble breathing. I pleaded over and over for him to let go! I told him over and over again that he was hurting me, that I couldn’t breath and that I was feeling claustrophobic and about to have an anxiety attack! I can’t breath - I repeated over and over! He said if I can talk I can breath! He said he couldn’t trust me to let me go and tightened his grip. I desperately tried to break free but he was so strong. He said he wanted me to feel how he feels every day. I asked why would you want to inflict that on anyone?? What about the golden rule?? He said it didn’t apply because I did it to him emotionally first!!! What did I do? It was pure out of control craziness! I was desperate to break free and couldn’t. I finally had to relax my body and tried to bring it down, relax him and try to reason. . . After about 30 minutes that seemed like hours, he finally let me go and I had to promise him not to do anything like call the cops or tell anyone. It’s getting scary. The fact that he told me not to tell anyone means HE KNOWS it’s wrong!
October 14th, 2025:
Yesterday Laird said the “incident” was nothing more than a loving embrace and I was acting irrationally and unpredictable - and that him “holding” me was just like training a horse - you hobble them, they throw a fit, but then they learn a valuable lesson. Some may see that as abuse, but we as horse trainers know it's necessary. Oh. my. God. He knew exactly what he was doing. He knew it was abuse and he justified it.
October 27th, 2025:
Well, October 22nd was the day all the walls came tumbling down. Keely the 25 year old exercise rider girl has recently been spending every night with Laird working her horse. This was the grooming of my replacement - I had told him several times I’d felt uncomfortable with their relationship. He assured me every time and I believed him.
That day, I had gone down to Eugene to the wellness center to get treatments, then the DMV to re-register my truck and trailer, I went into the wrong building and almost missed my appointment. I rushed over to the correct building and was barely able to make my appointment - I was 15 min late. Laird called right as I was at the window so I didn’t answer. I knew this would be the beginning of the end. He called and texted and called again. Once I got out of the DMV I called him back. He said som**hing to the effect that I was a liar and he was no longer responsible for his actions and hung up on me. I knew Keely was there and I knew exactly what he meant by that statement. I drove to my doctors appointment in Lebanon, while waiting for the doctors I checked the cameras at home and saw him leave with Keely - . . . I texted him and told him he was crossing a major boundary and there was no going back.
When I got back, Laird and Keely were there working a horse. I confronted him about leaving with her and told him it was inappropriate. I was so stressed and so betrayed, I just couldn’t be there with the two of them, so I left to go to the grocery store. As I pulled out of the driveway, Laird ran after me and flipped me off. What the hell..??
When I got back from the store they were drinking beers together on the patio. I confronted Keely and asked her how she felt about what she was doing with my husband. She just played dumb. No one is that dumb. Does she not realize this is my house!!! Laird got in between us . Keely seemed to get the hint it was finally time to leave, but Laird stopped her and said he needed to talk with her in private and walked her to her car. They continued to drink and laugh and pretend I didn’t exist. He then asked her if she still wanted to go away with him to the coast. I was standing RIGHT THERE in MY driveway! They got in her car, drank some more, laughed and eventually the two of them left together. I was so disgusted and felt like my world was falling apart. I went inside the house . . I felt like I was going to puke. Then, I looked out the window and saw Laird walking back down the driveway towards the house. I ran around and locked all the doors. He tried coming in. He started banging on the door exclaiming that he lives here and had to let him in. I told him, he’d chosen another woman over me, so I would not be letting him in. He started screaming - the neighbors told me they could hear him – and they were a ¼ mile away. Then Laird screamed that he’d break the sliding glass door! He started banging on the glass. I thought he was going to break it. I was so scared. What if he got in? What would he do? He walked over to the wood pile and grabbed an axe and said he was going to break the glass!!! I called 911 and told him I was calling the cops.Then he started wandering around with the axe. Two cops arrived very quickly, then two more. I looked around and didn’t see Laird. The cops asked where he was and I said I wasn’t sure, but he had walked toward the barn and my LQ Trailer. More cops showed up. I stayed in the house but I heard a ruckus at my trailer. I couldn’t understand why it was taking so long. By this time they had to release an attack dog to get him out. I watched 3 cops run across the driveway toward the trailer. It took 5 cops and a taser plus the dog to get him restrained and handcuffed. I watched from the window and heard him shouting and calling the cops names, at one point I believe he said som**hing about them being cowardly pricks..OMG. Afterwards the deputy told me how incredibly strong he is and how incredibly intoxicated he seemed. He asked if anything like this had happened before. I told him about the last couple incidents. Patty Jo (my guardian angel) came over and gave a statement - she had been at the neighbors and heard him screaming.
The next day I filled out the paperwork for the restraining order. When we found out he’d been released we all went white - we were terrified. I was advised to get somewhere safe and not to stay at my house. I couldn’t leave all the horses behind.. We packed up my medication, guns, horses, saddles, important papers and took them and myself somewhere safe he didn’t know about. It was really scary. I couldn’t eat or sleep.
The next morning, I found his phone - I was able to recover a bunch of texts he’d deleted between him and Keely. Reading those broke my heart and made me sick. I didn’t sleep for two days. I took the restraining order into the court house and appeared before the judge - she ordered the animals stay in my care and he would never be allowed to take anything off the property or come on the property without police es**rt. Thank God.
It was hard to even get him served with the restraining order - the officer said he kept hiding and running from him, but after several attempts, they finally got him served.
After Laird was arrested October 22nd 2025 and people found out - the women that came out of the woodwork and contacted me was shocking. Most didn’t know one another - but all had very similar stories of abuse, confusion and extreme emotional turmoil. But none had ever called the cops because the scars weren’t physical—- they were far far deeper and more horrific than a bruise. Like me their stories were filled with torment and shame. Another woman I didn’t know about had been choked by him multiple times. She always contacted her parents and not the police unfortunately. My incident WAS NOT the first time!
He has no remorse from what I’ve heard . . And he gets to walk free, live his life in exactly the same manner, never take accountability and in almost every case- he gets more help and attention than the women he’s abused - we are all left to silently heal and try like hell to forgive ourselves. My life was shattered by him. Countless other women echoed the same fate. Lives forever changed by a monster - the most charming and most evil man I’ve ever met. As with all the other women, I’ll be added to the category of crazy exes. Because there will be no responsibility from him, no introspection and no empathy — no remorse . He discarded me and found my replacement while I was fighting for my life with cancer. Right in the middle of my treatments was when he became the most manipulative and the most evil.
He got a free place to stay, and pick his business right up and people to enable his behavior - I was left with no money, looming cancer treatments, a mortgage, hay bills, property insurance, power, horse insurance, farrier, vet bills etc. I've been paying a mortgage that he is still on the deed to and paying for horses with his name on the papers.
I respectfully request, the Honorable Judge recognize my rare and extenuating circumstances: recent breast cancer diagnosis and on-going treatment, financial crisis due to medical expenses, depletion of my personal capital for start-up of my new business to support myself to pay mortgage for the property I purchased in Sweet Home in 2022, The IMPACTS of Laird’s domestic violence from seven years, include but not limited to physical and emotional abuse. Additional impacts are long term traumatic bonding, emotional and spiritual degradation.
A cruel and bitter impact is Laird’s failure to respond to his marriage dissolution. Causing me continued suffering, financial hardship, and possible bankruptcy.�
I respectfully request, the Honorable Judge consider the below statements from, Lundy Bancroft book, “Why does he do that? Inside the minds of Angry and Controlling Men,” when sentencing Laird Patrick McCabe.�
An abuser’s core problem is that they have a distorted sense of right and wrong. They justify their behavior with excuses. They feel they have the “right to control you.” Abusers feel entitled. He has rights and privileges but wife and kids do not. Abusers are consciously lying after an incident and denying what they did. They do not want to answer for their actions. He adheres tightly to excuses and rationalizations. He develops the ability to insulate himself from pain that he has and is causing, he learns to enjoy power/control over female partners.
Please do everything within the courts power to end the domestic violence abuse of Laird Patrick McCabe. Additional victims would be a grave miscarriage of justice. Thank you
