Normalizing Grief - My morning cup of coffee with you Chase - Chase’s Light

04/14/2025

02/20/2025

💔🖤🌻

02/14/2025

~Have you ever heard of "continuing bonds"? In summary it goes like this - when your loved one dies grief isn’t about working through a linear process that ends with ‘acceptance’ or a ‘new life’, where you have moved on or compartmentalized your loved one’s memory.

Rather, when a loved one dies you slowly find ways to adjust and redefine your relationship with that person, allowing for a continued bond with that person that will endure, in different ways and to varying degrees, throughout your life. This relationship is not unhealthy, nor does it mean you are not grieving in a normal way.

Instead, the continuing bonds theory suggests that this is not only normal and healthy, but that an important part of grief is continuing ties to loved ones in this way. Rather than assuming detachment as a normal grief response, continuing bonds considers natural human attachment even in death.

The bond can remain just as strong, and some activities and rituals may help to establish and maintain the development of these bonds ~

My morning coffee with you Chase Nelson Fitzgerald is a direct example of the continuing bonds threory🖤💔💙

01/19/2025

As we are approaching almost 4 years without you there is no shortness of tears or heartache.
No matter how hard I try.
Maybe it's weird maybe it's awkward.
Maybe it Makes people uncomfortable.
But I will never shy away from the fact that you were alive and now your gone.
I will keep your pictures up through out the house.
Your siblings can still walk in and out of those rooms.
I can still hear their voices,laughter, and all I have to do is call out their name to see them.
You can't be in those rooms.
I can’t beckon you to appear.
But your photos are there.
I will always talk about you and bring you up often, cause you no longer can be part of the conversation yourself.
I will always introduce your life and death as part of my story.
When people walk into my home, I will probably show them where you are.
I will always talk about my five children and when asked their ages. I will always say chaser forever 23.
It may make some feel awkward. I may even shed a tear, but my goal is to always remember you were here.
My morning coffee with you Chaser.🖤💔💙

01/18/2025

It just is...
no matter how our children died we will always carry blame in our hearts 💔
"I’ve carried (and still carry, at times) immeasurable amounts of self-blame, guilt, and anger— at God and myself— for not being able to save my son from death."

My morning cup of coffee with you Chaser Nelson Fitzgerald 🖤💔💙





















🌻🖤

01/17/2025

Can we talk about grief brain for a minute???
I don’t care how long it’s been. It’s still a real thing. The fog seems to settle in around anniversary dates, holidays, certain scents, trigger moments, etc…
People need to understand it really is a forever thing. It’s not an excuse,
We are not addicted to our grief …it’s something we don’t get over. And unfortunately, the bigger the love the bigger the grief.
Just as we say “the bigger they are the harder they fall.”


Chase forever 23💔🖤🌻💙

This is normal, this is normalizing grief. 🌻🖤

My morning cup of coffee with you chaser 🖤💔💙 Nelson Fitzgerald

My favorite Quote
~I can think of no mother more
deserving than a Mother who
had to give one back~

























💔🖤

01/17/2025

You live on in me 🖤🌻💔

01/15/2025

Panic in a picture 💔

I look around me at all the people
How animated they are
how lively they are
their laugh
their smile
The tone of their voice
Their features
from their dimples
to the color of their eyes
the flow of their hair
The excitement in their existence
Then my heart stumbles
Stumbles on a picture of you
I study it
your features
Every detail of your face
Trying to recall your animation
Trying desperately to feel
Feel your presence
again
I close my eyes
to trace your features with my heart
But my warped mind starts
Starts to settle in
I feel my breath fading
The air in my lungs escaping
my heart rate increasing 
my stomach drops
the crippling taking over
the daunting sets in
Again ...
That human figure
My human
is gone
completely gone...
erased
No more life
No more animation
No more pictures
Nothing more than memories
nothing but ash and dust
Nothing more than panic
Panic in a picture 💔

Chase, I wrote this poem today at the anger and the daunting reality that there will be no more photos. My bitter panicking reality.😭

Chase forever 23💔🖤🌻💙

This is normal, this is normalizing grief. 🌻🖤

My morning cup of coffee with you chaser 🖤💔💙 Nelson Fitzgerald

My favorite Quote
~I can think of no mother more
deserving than a Mother who
had to give one back~

























💔🖤🌻

01/07/2025

This 💔🖤🌻

01/03/2025

In the aftermath of the funeral, I distinctly remember the first few days and weeks, marked by a steady stream of family and friends, until the eventual stillness. It was during those moments that I required a constant, soothing background noise from the television. Nevertheless, I had to steer clear of potentially triggering content, such as crime shows, which were my typical preference, as I was now confronting a similar situation. Consequently, I turned black-and-white movies and comedies, which epitomized a bygone era, where death and real-life issues were not discussed. My objective was to find a temporary refuge where nothing could trigger my emotions. Therefore, I often resorted to watching Abbott and Costello movies, I Love Lucy, and similar classics.

This is normal. This is normalizing grief 💔🌻🖤

Tell how you managed to cope,
survive the impossible in the first few days, months and weeks 💞























💔🖤💙

01/02/2025

Closer to the day 💔

As the clock struck midnight
and fireworks commenced
The reality that he will not exist
Exist in yet another year became suffocating
soul crushing
Almost unbearable
And in that moment a daunting bitter sweet reminder resurfuced...
As we are moving further away
Away from the day we
We last held them
heard their laugh
their voice
breathed them in....
We are also simultaneously
hurtling closer
Closer to the day
The day we will join them 💔

Chase, I miss you with all that am 💔

Chase forever 23💔🖤🌻💙

This is normal, this is normalizing grief. 🌻🖤

My morning cup of coffee with you chaser 🖤💔💙 Nelson Fitzgerald

My favorite Quote
~I can think of no mother more
deserving than a Mother who
had to give one back~























💔🖤💙