Families Anonymous

Families Anonymous Families Anonymous is a 12 Step fellowship for family members and friends of individuals with drug, alcohol or related behaviorial problems. You are not alone.

We are a welcoming and supportive community, founded in 1971.

There's an analogy that goes with a common misconception many have when an individual begins a treatment program for sub...
05/31/2026

There's an analogy that goes with a common misconception many have when an individual begins a treatment program for substance use disorder: "This will be like going through a car wash and coming out clean on the other side." Or to put it another way, "After a six-week program, my loved one will be cured, and my life will return to normal!" In truth, that's not how it works with addiction. If a treatment center tells you that, they are being disingenuous. It's a lifetime disease. There's no cure for it. But, like diabetes, somebody can have a joyous and fulfilling life if they do the right things to take care of themselves: monitor their blood sugar, take prescribed medications, etc. Similarly, parents and loved ones in Families Anonymous also can recover and live a joyous and fulfilling life if they do the right things to take care of themselves: attend meetings, utilize the resources, immerse themselves in the FA community and work the 12 Steps. We can recover even if our qualifier chooses not to recover. Does it happen quickly? No. There's a process. There are stops and re-starts along the way. Progress is not often linear. But with patience, hope and diligence, we will get there. We may look up after a month, six months or a year and think, "I'm not perfect but I'm far ahead of where I was after my first meeting." It's about progress, not perfection.

The Families Anonymous program is less about repressing our emotions than it is controlling our actions. That doesn't me...
05/29/2026

The Families Anonymous program is less about repressing our emotions than it is controlling our actions. That doesn't mean FA endorses screaming, throwing fits or suffering meltdowns when something goes against our desires. But many of our emotions are organic. When something good happens, we will feel happy. When something bad happens, we will feel sad or angry. We are human beings, so we feel the feels. But it's the action that follows the emotion that more accurately defines us and our recovery. When we feel overwhelmed, do we: A) Choose to sit in the dark and isolate, alone with our stinking thinking, or, B) Attempt to slow down our thoughts, go for a walk and reach out to a friend in the FA community? Even when we make "bad" decisions, it doesn't mean we are bad. It only means we relapsed in our behaviors, and therefore we need to learn from the mistakes and reset, just as when an alcoholic in recovery chooses to have a drink and needs to determine what led to that moment. Emotions are temporary. They rise and fall like a thermometer. Stress comes and goes. But that's not our identity. Feel something. Process it. Learn from it. Then move on. That's the FA program -- and THAT can be your identity. All it takes is a little work.

We are not going to get it right all the time. Sometimes we are pulled in one direction by our emotions, and even when w...
05/27/2026

We are not going to get it right all the time. Sometimes we are pulled in one direction by our emotions, and even when we do the right thing for our recovery it doesn't stop our struggling loved one from rebelling against us, continuing to abuse substances, or cutting off all communication. Even as great and proven as the Families Anonymous program is, many decisions are hard. So, we need to think on them -- but not endlessly to the point of anxiety and hopelessness. We can play what-if for days. But that's not a healthy approach to decision making. First, breathe. Then pause and reflect. Consider our role in the situation. Draw from our experiences. Factor in our needs and emotions -- with honesty. Finally, choose an action. We will have done all we can do. More often than not, our decision will reap benefits with our recovery. Endless ruminating isn't helpful or healthy. FA will show you a better way.

Taking care of ourselves is a 24/7 job. As members of a fellowship that essentially is a self-care program, we at Famili...
05/25/2026

Taking care of ourselves is a 24/7 job. As members of a fellowship that essentially is a self-care program, we at Families Anonymous are aware of that as much as anybody. May is Mental Health Awareness Month. This month has been observed since 1949 to help shine a light, destigmatize and educate the public on depression and various mental health struggles. But only in recent years as we have increased our focus on self-care and support services has working on ourselves become a higher priority. That's where FA comes in. At the outset, we might not view FA as a key source of our mental health. It might be something we try only because our qualifier is struggling with substance use disorder and we are looking for a way to fix him or her. But we have been impacted by a family disease. Our recovery doesn't come easily or swiftly. We need the program. We need the support of the fellowship. We need the 12 Steps. We need it all every day, because we live every day, and those bumps in the road never end in life's journey. Take care of ourselves, because we're the only one who really can -- and if we see somebody struggling, don't hesitate to reach out and lend a sympathetic ear. When we help others, we help ourselves. For more on what we can do for our mental health, go to FamiliesAnonymous.org.

The number Twelve is associated with several aspects of Families Anonymous. The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions are t...
05/23/2026

The number Twelve is associated with several aspects of Families Anonymous. The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions are the foundation of the program, borrow from the father of all recovery programs, Alcoholics Anonymous. The Twelve Promises are both special and inspiring. While FA stresses to members to stay in the moment, the promises tell us where we are going if work the program with consistency and hope. We understand that the "hope" may not come right away. When we have a loved one struggling with substances, we lose hope and faith by the buckets. But the promises are verifiable. The program works. We are going to know a new freedom from worry and a new happiness (No. 1). We will comprehend the word serenity (No. 3). Feelings of resentment and self-pity will disappear (No. 6). FA has produced wonderful new literature about the Twelve Promises, going into depth on each one and how we can work toward achieving them. It is appropriately titled, "Rewards of Recovery: Exploring the Twelve Promises of Families Anonymous" Like all of FA's literature, it is modestly priced at $4. You can order a copy with this link: https://familiesanonymous.org/product/1041-rewards-of-recovery-exploring-the-twelve-promises-of-families-anonymous/ While you're in the online shop, have a look around at other FA resources. Just go to the "Literature" tab at FamiliesAnonymous.org. And thanks for being a part of FA.

We are taught in life -- especially in our work life -- to think ahead, plan and anticipate our next move. But this mind...
05/21/2026

We are taught in life -- especially in our work life -- to think ahead, plan and anticipate our next move. But this mindset can be a problem in recovery. If we are focused on tomorrow, we are not focused on today. Those in long-term recovery from drugs, alcohol and related self-destructive behaviors learn to live with the, "One day at a time," mindset. The recovery of their loved ones from the family disease also must learn to base their decision-making process only on what is happening now. When we start making decisions based on a certain belief -- "They're going to get sober." Or, "They're going to relapse." Or, "They're going to need money or housing," -- we get ourselves into trouble. Projecting an imagine of the future that hasn't happened yet makes it difficult for us live for today -- and today is the only way to have a life. Just focus on today. Don't try to think two or three moves ahead. Recovery isn't a game of chess. Progress is not often linear. The best thing we can do for ourselves is also the simplest: Just do the next right thing. Learn more at Families Anonymous.

There is a difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is merely a function of our ears. But we hear things all th...
05/20/2026

There is a difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is merely a function of our ears. But we hear things all the time that we don't really pay attention to -- birds tweeting, elevator music, background noise in the office. Before we work a strong family recovery program, we also may "hear" our qualifier but not really "listen" to them because we are more focused on our anger, our pain and what we want to say when they stop talking. We are born with two ears but only one mouth, but we tend to use the latter more than the former. There's a Native American proverb: "Listen, or thy tongue will keep thee deaf." It's a good practice for all areas of our life but especially in Families Anonymous. We can't formulate clear thoughts on a situation or take appropriate action if we don't know what's REALLY going on with someone, and we can't get a full picture if we don't listen to their words. What are they trying to say? Why are they depressed? Their words may not always "make sense" to us, but they will help direct us, and there's a trust that grows between two people when both feel like they are being heard -- truly heard. Listening nurtures empathy. Speaking restricts knowledge. Today a better way.

It's common for those who struggle with substance use disorder to not ask for help simply because they don't believe the...
05/19/2026

It's common for those who struggle with substance use disorder to not ask for help simply because they don't believe they NEED help. They think: "I've never had a problem before." Or: "I'll just cut back a little and then I'll be fine." Or: "I don't need to sit in a circle with a bunch of alcoholics and sing, 'Kumbaya.'" Guess what? It works the same for those us suffering with the adjacent family disease. Most delay seeking help and coming to their first Families Anonymous meeting because they believe: "I don't need that." Or: "We don't talk about that stuff in my family." Or something along the lines of: "I know what's best for my kid." Truth is, failing to ask for help is the first and biggest roadblock to recovery -- both ours and theirs. In FA meetings, we are with others who have been subjected to similar (and sometimes exact) difficult circumstances, experiencing the same levels of stress, fear, anger, anxiety, and codependency. The FA program has a deep library of resources. But the first and most important thing we are exposed to is the welcoming, non-judgmental community. Asking for help IS NOT a weakness. It is a STRENGTH. It shows courage and an acknowledgement that there may be a better way. Let the experience, strength and hope of those who have been helped by FA show you that better way.

Those who need a recovery program at Families Anonymous often arrive with different backstories and perspectives. That i...
05/15/2026

Those who need a recovery program at Families Anonymous often arrive with different backstories and perspectives. That is why FA started niche group meetings, including family members who have a sibling struggling with substance use disorder and related behavioral issues. IMPORTANT: The emotional baggage for siblings often differs from the struggles of parents and spouses of those with SUD. Some siblings may feel they have "lost" their confidant or hero. Others may harbor resentments because they believe their parents turned a blind eye to problems for too long. Others may simply feel they have been ignored. The siblings meeting, like other FA groups, is to help individuals find support and build their own community that they can lean on. The siblings meeting is held on the first Thursday of each month, 7-8 p.m. ET. The Zoom meeting information follows. Meeting ID: 509 168 6103. Passcode: 821837. For more information, email Sondra at [email protected]. For all FA meeting listings, go to the meeting locator at https://familiesanonymous.org/meetings/meeting-directories/ As always, FA is there for you, and thanks for being a part of the fellowship.

We resent the things our loved ones do to us and to themselves. We resent the disease of addiction. We resent the drug d...
05/13/2026

We resent the things our loved ones do to us and to themselves. We resent the disease of addiction. We resent the drug dealers and maybe things some view as "societal norms." People tell us, "Let it go." But that often is misconstrued. "Let it go," does not mean: "Bury your emotions. Forget about it!" To the contrary, it's important to pause and process negative emotions, including resentments. The Families Anonymous program teaches us that when we take the time to process situations, we should ask ourselves: "What is my role in this? Did I cause it? Can I control it?" When it becomes clear that we are powerless, it's easier to then focus on ourselves and put our faith in a Higher Power of our choosing. If and when a similar resentment comes up later on, we will be able to draw on the experience and muscle memory of how we were able to let it go before. As we move forward with this process, we will begin to be honest with ourselves and honor our feelings. That's when it becomes easier to, "Let it go."

Address

701 Lee Street , Suite 670
Street , MD
60016

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Families Anonymous posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Organization

Send a message to Families Anonymous:

Share