11/05/2019
We can just light the candles, on the appropriate weeks without any meaning beyond keeping track of the time. There’s happiness in the title—that’s what we’re looking for at this time of year where the darkness can feel overwhelming and like it is never, ever, ever going to end. We light the candles to remind ourselves that the sun will return. We *know* that the sun return will begin in 5 weeks when we start and, as we light the candles, we’re able to *see* that the sun will begin to return in 4 weeks now. Now, 3 weeks... and so on. We are always noting the return of the sun and the end of the longest night by the number of candles that are burned and how many are left unburnt.
Right now, there are just less than 2 weeks until the Winter Happiness Project begins! We’re so close, already.
We’re teaching ourselves, in a visceral and physical way that this (the darkness, the lack of sun) is temporary and reminding ourselves of it weekly and daily.
When you light the first candle at sunset or at dark or at the time that feels right to you, you can light it and then, right away put it out. Or you can keep the candle lit throughout your evening. I like to keep it lit for a while. Until I’m ready to blow it out, turn it off, s***f it. There is no prescribed amount of time to leave the candle lit (the only real rule is do not leave candles unattended).
You can light the candle every day through the week or intermittently or, you know, just whenever you feel like it. For me, just seeing that the one candle is burned down a bit is enough and I usually just light the candles on the one day and then light that candle and the next on the following week. I don’t know if it’s enough for you—only you know that.
Once, I had a bit of ceremony when lighting the first candle, because the solstice fell on a Thursday and the 5th week before-hand was Thanksgiving and I had guests over for dinner. I think it was the first time I had shared the candle process and I was very excited to share this with people I love! I said a little about what I’ve been talking about here and that was it. I don’t usually have anything to say about the candle lighting. Here in my house, it’s just, “Yay! It’s 5 weeks to Solstice! Time to light the candle!” IF we even say that. You can say more, but if you want this to be a spiritual thing, I strongly suggest you find Beth Owl’s Daughter and read up on her Solstice Sun Basket traditional—she includes a lot of things that do not resonate with me and the Winter Happiness Project was inspired, and completely stripped down, and reimagined from her ceremony.
So, the candles are really THE thing. The intrinsic part of the Winter Happiness Project.
But, as we began thinking of the Winter Happiness Project, we also started to think of other things that would bring happiness, alongside the return of the sun.
So, we do things that make us feel happy and things that promote happiness. That can be something like taking a nice hot luxurious bath or going out to eat or making ourselves something or giving something to someone. It could be planning a day at home, reading, cooking, and playing board games. It can literally be anything that makes you and any other participants happy.
It can be simply asking ourselves, “What can I do in the midst of this dark day that is bumming me out so bad that will bring me a tiny bit of happiness, just enough to get me through to the start of the sun returning?”
You can include other ways to promote happiness during this time. Gifts of time (to yourself, to others), homemade gifts, and any gift that will bring happiness to the giver and the receiver are all welcome. Small gifts like a compliment on someone’s hat or the gift of expressing gratitude for another’s hard work are also entirely appropriate for The Winter Happiness Project. Working with someone on something is also a gift. This year, at my house, we’re going to work on some shelves for our bathroom pantry and our kitchen pantry area—these shelves will promote happiness all year long and It will be nice to work with each other on the shelves as well.
For me, the Winter Happiness Project is also a replacement of holiday traditions that aren’t meaningful to me, but it doesn’t have to be that way for you. You can light the candles and promote happiness with kindness for yourself and others, without a single gift and without replacing any other holiday.
Also, you don’t have to share!!! If the Winter Happiness Project is just a gift that you do for yourself, that is perfect, too. The happiness that you most need to focus on & promote can absolutely be your own happiness and that is bringing light to darkness in and of itself.
More on lighting the candles tomorrow.
