Side By Side

10/09/2026

One of the questions we hear from wounded spouses is, “How do I know if my spouse is truly sorry?”

It's an important question because being upset about an affair isn't necessarily the same thing as being remorseful. And remorse, while incredibly important, isn't quite the same thing as repentance.

In 2 Corinthians 7, Paul gives us a helpful distinction between worldly grief and godly grief. And then he points us toward something we think is incredibly important:

Look at what the sorrow produces.

In our new article, we're talking about regret, genuine remorse, repentance, defensiveness, and what to do when the remorse you desperately want to see in your spouse simply isn't there.

We hope this one helps both the wounded and wayward spouse understand what godly grief can begin to look like after betrayal.

Read More Than Sorry: What True Remorse Looks Like After an Affair at

Infidelity doesn’t have to end your marriage. We guide couples to rebuild trust, restore connection, and move from hurt to hope after infidelity through personalized Christian marriage coaching.

09/29/2026

If your spouse is caught in affair fog right now, it may feel as though you're watching someone you love become a different person.

If you're the one caught in it, you may genuinely believe you've discovered something you can't possibly walk away from.

We've sat with both.
And this is what we want you to know:

Limerence is powerful. But it is not more powerful than God.

Feelings can change.
Eyes can open.
Hard hearts can soften.
Sin can be confessed.
Desires can be reordered.
Trust can slowly be rebuilt.

And marriages that seem impossibly broken can experience genuine restoration.

Understanding limerence doesn't excuse infidelity. It helps us understand why the feelings can be so convincing and why we need something more trustworthy than our own hearts to lead us out.

God's truth gives us that.

👉🏼R E A D What Is Limerence? Understanding the Chemistry Behind Affair Fog at staysidebyside.org.

And if infidelity has divided your marriage, this is the very road we walk with couples every day. You don't have to navigate it alone.

09/26/2026

Affair fog doesn't have to last forever.

One of the beautiful things we have witnessed in walking with couples after infidelity is the return of clarity.

Not usually overnight.
But slowly, as secrecy ends.
Contact ends.
Truth is told.
Sin is confessed.
Accountability begins.

And a person starts submitting their feelings to God's truth rather than interpreting God's truth through their feelings.

Repentance leads to clarity.

Obedience often precedes emotional change.

Truth creates space for healing.

God can reorder what sin has disordered.

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will remove your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
Ezekiel 36:26

09/24/2026

Sin flatters before it destroys.

That's part of what makes limerence so deceptive.

An affair may tell you:

You deserve this.
You've finally found someone who understands you.
You've never felt this way before.
Maybe this is who you were supposed to be with all along.
Maybe your marriage was the mistake.

But the Bible warns us about the deceptive power of sin.

But encourage each other daily, while it is still called today, so that none of you is hardened by sin's deception.
Hebrews 3:13

Sin deceives.
It persuades.
It reshapes our perception.

And eventually, we can become convinced that protecting our sin is actually protecting our happiness.

That's why we need truth outside of ourselves.

09/20/2026

For the spouse caught in limerence, this can be difficult to believe:
You don't have to wait until your feelings change before you begin obeying God.

You may still miss the other person.
You may still think about them.
You may still feel the pull.
You may still grieve the loss of a relationship you know you shouldn't have had.

But those feelings do not have to determine your choices.

Obedience often precedes emotional change.

Repentance says:
I will stop allowing my feelings to determine what is true.
I will turn away from what God calls sin.
I will choose obedience even while my emotions catch up.

That isn't hypocrisy.
That's faith.

09/18/2026

Go all the way back to Genesis 3.

The serpent didn't simply tell Eve to rebel against God.
He caused her to question what God had said and what God was withholding.

Then Eve looked.

The woman saw that the tree was good for food and delightful to look at, and that it was desirable for obtaining wisdom.
Genesis 3:6

There it is again.
Desire changed how she saw what was in front of her.

What God had forbidden began to look good.
Desirable.

Worth the cost.

That's one of sin's oldest lies.
It doesn't simply tempt us to choose something wrong.
It works to convince us that the wrong thing is actually the thing we need.

09/14/2026

One of the reasons an affair can feel so powerful is that it often exists outside ordinary life.

There aren't bills to pay together.
Kids to get out the door.
A house to maintain.
Years of hurts and disappointments to work through.

Instead, there may be secrecy, novelty, anticipation, affirmation and carefully selected pieces of yourself shared with the other person.

That's fertile ground for fantasy.

But biblical love is something entirely different.

Intensity is not the same thing as intimacy.

Biblical love isn't proven by how strongly we feel in a moment.
It's demonstrated through faithfulness, sacrifice, truth and covenant over time.

09/12/2026

David's story in 2 Samuel 11 gives us a sobering picture of what happens when desire begins to rule.

David sees Bathsheba.
He wants her.

And rather than bringing his desire under God's authority, he follows it.
What follows is adultery, deception and eventually death.

James describes the same progression:

But each person is tempted when he is drawn away and enticed by his own evil desire. Then after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and when sin is fully grown, it gives birth to death.
James 1:14–15

Desire makes a terrible master.

The question isn't whether we will experience powerful desires.
We will.

The question is what we do with them.

09/10/2026

Feelings are real.
But they are not always reliable leaders.

The Bible has been telling us this long before we had words like limerence or affair fog.

The heart is more deceitful than anything else, and incurable. Who can understand it?
Jeremiah 17:9

Our hearts can convince us that because something feels powerful, it must be true.

Because it feels like love, it must be love.

Because we feel alive, it must be good.

Because we feel certain, we must be right.

But God gives us something more trustworthy than our feelings:
HIS TRUTH.

And sometimes healing begins when we're willing to let truth challenge what feels true.

09/08/2026

One of the most confusing parts of infidelity is this:
The feelings can feel incredibly real.

The intensity. The longing. The constant thoughts. The sense that this person understands you in a way no one else does.

There is a word often used to describe this experience: limerence.

Understanding what is happening doesn't excuse sin. But it can help explain why someone caught in an affair may seem so unlike themselves, and why feelings can begin to feel more trustworthy than truth.

Our newest article looks at limerence, affair fog, and what the Bible has to say about a heart ruled by desire.

Read What Is Limerence? Understanding the Chemistry Behind Affair Fog at staysidebyside.org.