09/14/2026
🚔 APPARENTLY, THE FLU AFFECTS YOUR DRIVER’S LICENSE 🤒🚗
I know, I know...Please, let me give you an example!!
On September 14, Sergeant Tracy Schultz was dispatched to a two-car motor vehicle crash on River Road near the 8th Street Bridge.
Upon arrival, Sergeant Schultz noticed something slightly unusual: one of the vehicles involved in the crash was approximately a football field away from where the crash actually happened!!!
Naturally, she asked the driver why he was so far away....His explanation?
“The vehicle kept going and I couldn’t stop it.” NO, you couldn't drive it anymore, because you LOST your tire!
🤔
Sergeant Schultz then asked the obvious question:
“So… were you trying to leave the scene?”
“NO, MA’AM. NO, MA’AM.”
Okay then. 😂
The driver, who was holding an approximately six-month-old baby, provided his license, registration, and insurance information...OK PERFECT...right??!!
NOPE..couldn't be that easy...a check revealed that his driver’s license was...guess WHAT???!!!..
SUSPENDED!!
Well, we were already off to a great start!!
Sergeant Schultz then made contact with the driver of the second vehicle. There was a language barrier, (me no English!), so a friend arrived and offered to translate...GREAT!! maybe this gets better? 🫣
The driver was asked for his license, registration, and insurance information. Pretty simple right?!
Except...the Sergeant gets...."Me no have no drivers license". Oh God..this can't be happening. 🙄 He then claims, "Me shoulder hurt"
An 🚑 was provided and treatment began. He was subsequently transported to Wilkes-Barre General Hospital.
But wait!! Just when you thought it was over!! 😂
The best part of this story had not happened yet!!
Sergeant Schultz then approached the passenger of that same vehicle and asked him for identification.
The passenger handed her…
🥁🥁🥁
A VALID PENNSYLVANIA DRIVER’S LICENSE!! 👀👀
At this point, there was really only one question left to ask:
“If YOU have a valid Pennsylvania driver’s license… why weren’t YOU driving?”
Folks, after years in law enforcement, we have heard some excuses.
We have heard good excuses....
We have heard bad excuses.....
We have heard excuses that made us stare silently through the windshield for a few seconds and reconsider our career choices. (Seriously!!) 🤭
But this gentleman may have just raised the bar 🏆 yet AGAIN!! His answer?
🤒 “I HAVE THE FLU.” 🤒
Apparently, somewhere in Pennsylvania law, there must be a section we missed:
Got the flu? Hand the keys to the guy without a valid Pennsylvania driver’s license. 😂
We checked.
That is NOT actually a law.
We aren't sure if NyQuil prohibits operating a motor vehicle, but apparently it makes a perfectly good Pennsylvania driver's license completely useless. 🤷♀️
After this call, Sergeant Schultz is fairly confident she has heard just about everything!!
Then again, this is police work.
Somebody will eventually top it. They always do!!
🚔 MORAL OF THE STORY:
If you are going to drive in Jenkins Township — or anywhere else for that matter — have a valid driver’s license, PLEASE!!
And if the person sitting next to you DOES have one…
maybe let him drive.
Even if he has the sniffles. 🤧😂
Both drivers will be charged accordingly.
Jenkins Township Police Department Protecting, serving, and occasionally learning brand-new symptoms of the flu. 🚔😂
-Sgt Tracy Schultz