Red Bud Public Services

Red Bud Public Services It's our goal to provide a safe haven for our wealthier citizens, and to keep undesirables from putting roots down in our community.

And by putting roots down, we mean the devil lettuce and people growing the meths. Yes... This is a parody/satire page.

05/22/2026

We would like to recognize some of our most engaging page followers, as well as all the recent followers for the last few weeks. It's because of you that we do what we do. This is all your fault.

Mike Litzwet
Justin Heranus
Phil McCreviche
Drew Peabulls
Gabe Owners
Fing Ermy
Mike Hawkener
Dixie Recht
Hugh Jassle
Mike Oxlong
Lou Sassle
Eaton Beaver
Hugh Janis
Norma Stitz
Craven Moorehead
Jack Mayhoffer
Wilma Fingerdew
Eda Puthie
Drew Peacock

05/21/2026

As a follow-up to the graduations post earlier this week....
When it's time to leave the graduation party, and you say "Well, it's bout that time" - how much time remains before you ACTUALLY leave?
A. None; you immediately leave
B. 15-20 minutes, then you "Irish goodbye"
C. Just "one more" beer
D. At least an hour later, because ya haven't said goodbye to everyone, and someone just asked if ya think it'll rain the next couple days, cuz well yeah - the farmers need it.

05/20/2026

**UPDATE** Added a few items to the list, by request

Good morning, citizens. Just to get this out there ahead of the idiots on Memorial Day, here's a few reminders:
• The purpose of the day is to honor those who served and died while serving in the military. Your BBQ is great, but it isn't the important thing here, Mike.
• Second, don't wear the US flag like you were born on a ladder and hit every rung on the way down. It's not a cape, and it's not your blankie to wrap up in.
• Don't drink and drive. Seriously. If you're going jeeping, have a designated driver and get white girl wasted on the Claw. Again, seriously.
• Stay out of the 3 H's: Hospitals, Headlines, & Handcuffs.
• Don't add to the population, and don't subtract from the population - unless a mufukr threatens you or your family.
• If it's warm, moist, and not yours - don't touch it.
• Definitely DO have a good time - because those patriots lived & died for your freedom to do so. Have a pull from the Mason jar. Have a brew or two, or many. Smoke a joint... or don't. 'Merica.

Finally, please remember - prison r@pe is real.
Thank you for your attention to this matter!

*UPDATE* I've received DMs to drop it off at the mayor's house, Tallman's house, and sneaking it in the back seat of Chi...
05/19/2026

*UPDATE* I've received DMs to drop it off at the mayor's house, Tallman's house, and sneaking it in the back seat of Chief Shorty's truck or a police cruiser.... I've also received a request to put it in a fire truck and driving it around town with the sirens on.

🚨 Fostering Service Needed🚨
Picked up this little guy on Ames earlier today. Does NOT like car rides. Not very nice, but I'm pretty sure he's already domesticated - no collar or anything though. Got him home and he literally tore a giant hole in the bag of dog food and started chewing on a table leg. Hungry little fella! Both the dogs have been avoiding him, but I have a feeling they're just waiting for it to fall asleep.
Irregardless.... Need to get him out of our house ASAP. For $50 I'll drop him off wherever you want.

05/19/2026

Ay.... IDK who needs to see this (that's a lie), but all of the FaceSpace doesn't need to see all 67 pictures of your kid's graduation. Srsly. Chill yo teats, bro.

05/16/2026

Following this weekend's shenanigans, Ghandi would like you to kindly keep your dusty a*z whips ON the field road and stay the f**k OUT of the carn.
Also, when hanging a p**s in the wood line with the boys, please do not dare your buddy to stream up and over his shoulder. He will only end with a heavily moistened chest, lose his balance, and fall into the p**s-soaked underbrush in front of him.

05/16/2026

$50 says they'll figure out whose turn it is to go at the square, better than most people during the afternoon rush hour.
It's like weather in the Midwest; "Traffic wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the people from Chester & Sparta." 🤣

Look..... You can believe whatever TF you want. Free country. Just know that if/and/or when you and your kids end up wi...
05/14/2026

Look..... You can believe whatever TF you want. Free country. Just know that if/and/or when you and your kids end up with a grill looking like you grew up in England or the lesser civilized portions of the African interior, jungles of Asia & South America..... We *WILL* be making fun of you.

05/14/2026

🚨 Shenanigans Averted 🚨
**Update** Upon further interrogation, the hot dog was meant to represent the "extracurricular activities" of the individual. No kink shaming here... But what - and I cannot possibly stress this enough - the f**k.

Earlier today, one of RBHS senior parents uncovered a diabolical plan of shenanigans at graduation!
The degenerates' plan was for a number of them to leave a jar of peanut butter with a hot dog sticking out at the stage after accepting their diplomas. When asked what it was about, the only information the students would provide is that it was meant for a district employee. This is considered an open investigation, and we'll release details as they become available.

Good morning, citizens! Please be reminded that all camping permits must be approved by City Hall no less than 10 weeks ...
05/14/2026

Good morning, citizens! Please be reminded that all camping permits must be approved by City Hall no less than 10 weeks in advance of any camping within city limits. We will begin forced removal of any homeless people IMMEDIATELY if they do not have the proper permits. Tasers, tear gas, pepperballs and other "less than lethal" ordinance is approved. Chief Shorty has already activated his tactical sunglasses for this effort.

Thank you for your attention to this matter!

05/13/2026

For everyone going to the RBES graduation today.....
Parking space: has two lines on either side of where your car would go
Not a parking space: does NOT have two lines on either side of where your car would go

You know who you are. Everyone knows who you are. Don't be a lazy f**k that clogs up the parking lot, just because you don't feel like walking more than 100 feet.

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New York, NY

Telephone

+12126602245

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