09/28/2026
This is such an important point.
Jesus said you will know them by their fruit. Do not hesitate to inspect the fruit of the words you receive in such a counseling session. If they push secrecy instead of light, also instead of truth in any way, this is the opposite of the words of Jesus. If it does not reflect the way of Christ, it is not biblical counseling. If it does not reflect the way of Christ, it is not from a faithful Shepherd.
Not every conversation with a pastor is actually counseling.
Too often, survivors of abuse are given spiritual advice by people with no trauma training, no understanding of abuse dynamics, and no awareness of the damage bad guidance can cause.
Telling survivors to “forgive,” “submit,” “stop gossiping,” or “protect the church” is not healing.
Sometimes what gets called “pastoral counseling” is actually pressure, spiritual bypassing, victim-blaming, or silence disguised as wisdom.
Survivors deserve support that is safe, informed, accountable, and trauma-aware.
