11/03/2026
“What you resist, persists.”-Carl Jung
Avoidance is a coping mechanism that is used to provide temporary relief from anxiety and discomfort. Excessive avoidance is the hallmark of many anxiety disorders. People will go to great lengths in order to delay or distance themselves from unpleasant or difficult emotions, situations, conflict, and sometimes even reality. The desire to avoid often stems from past experiences where a person felt out of control, lacked safe nurturing care, or learned that being vulnerable is not safe. It can look like suppressing feelings, procrastination, social withdrawal, perfectionism, overworking, addictive or numbing behaviors, and extreme independence. Avoidance activates the brains reward system and hijacks the amygdala(the brain’s threat detection center). When we consistently avoid something, the brain begins to detect that thing as dangerous. This process reinforces anxiety by preventing exposure and actually ends up leading to a cycle of increased anxiety. Research shows that avoidance negatively affects your ability to emotionally regulate, reinforces negative coping mechanisms and can result in social isolation or relationship issues.
I think Jonah’s story offers a valuable lesson in why avoidance ends up causing more problems in the long run. While he may have felt immediate relief when he boarded the ship heading the opposite direction of Nineveh, he ended up causing more problems for himself and those around him. Mary on the other hand, is a good example of choosing faith over fear. When the angel Gabriel announced that she was pregnant with the Son of God, she chose to trust God and accept his plan rather than run from the discomfort or fear. So, how do you overcome avoidance?
The opposite of avoidance is engagement or active participation.
Awareness-recognize avoidant behaviors, identify how they are holding you back
Gradual exposure-replace avoidance with small acts of courage
Focus on future-don’t let emotional comfort be your decision maker
Explore ways to solve problems rather than avoid
Replace fear based responses with truth based responses
Lord, help me to recognize the places where I am making decisions based on fear rather than trusting in You. Show me where I have confused comfort with danger and allowed emotional safety to limit growth. Give me the courage to have difficult conversations, and strength to do those things I have been avoiding. May I be guided by faith rather than fear. I surrender the outcome to You and trust that You want what is best for me. In Jesus Name, Amen.
