06/16/2026
📢 SHELTER ANNOUNCEMENT -🚨
At approximately way-too-early o’clock this morning, a cat descended from the heavens through our ceiling like he was being sent by corporate. (anyone need a cat?)
Not climbed down.
Not jumped down.
Not politely entered through a door.
This man chose violence.
We aren’t sure exactly why or how this happened but we have some good guesses.
We’re pretty sure he looked at OSHA regulations, building codes, our maintenance requests, and the structural integrity of the building and said, “I have reviewed the evidence and respectfully disagree.”
Honestly, he may have been trying to help. Our phones have been acting up for months. Maybe he heard we put in a maintenance request and thought, “Don’t worry ladies, I’ll handle this myself.”
Then again, he might have seen our ceiling tiles and said, “Absolutely not. The 1970s called and wants its interior design back.”
We’ve also heard rumors of funding cuts. Imagine our surprise when the first thing to leave the budget was apparently THE CEILING.
The cat came through like the Kool-Aid Man.
OOOOOOH YEAHHHHH.
The best part is he looked personally offended when he received an immediate eviction notice so we could assess the damage.
(He’s fed and safe, but the ceiling however remains in critical condition)
Sir, with all due respect, you just entered this room like a WWE wrestler making his entrance at WrestleMania.
You don’t get to look surprised.
At first we thought maybe the building was haunted.
Then we thought maybe a raccoon had gotten in.
Then we thought maybe one of our staff had finally snapped and started living in the attic to avoid answering emails.
But no.
Just a cat conducting what we can only assume was an unauthorized audit.
He checked the ceiling.
He checked the staff.
He checked our emotional wellbeing.
He found deficiencies.
He then left without providing recommendations.
Honestly, he was probably trying to contact us about our car’s extended warranty.
Or reaching out regarding an exciting work-from-home opportunity.
Or informing us that a Nigerian prince urgently needed our assistance.
Or maybe he just heard there was a nonprofit in town and figured nobody there had enough problems yet.
Things happen in shelter that cannot be explained.
We’ve had emergencies.
We’ve had surprises.
We’ve had situations that made us question reality.
But never once have we had a cat parachute into the workplace like an undercover federal agent executing a search warrant.
The cat is fine.
The staff are fine.
The ceiling has entered witness protection.
Please keep it in your thoughts as it navigates this difficult chapter.