09/16/2022
This is Sky. He is a beautiful baby boy at Stanford Children’s Hospital who can use prayers and well wishes. This is a letter written by his amazing mama before he was born…
Dear Sky,
My precious gift. My little fighter. I am already so proud of you. What a journey we have been on, and I haven’t even met you yet.
We were over the moon when we found out we were pregnant with you. Your Dad and I had been trying for some time, but unfortunately we had a few tragic losses before you came into our world.
A few months after we found out we were pregnant with you, the doctors saw something concerning when they looked at your tiny body on the ultrasound. They told us your chance of survival was less than 10%. The doctors didn’t know exactly what was wrong yet. Your Dad and I were both so scared.
I remember laying on the floor with my hands on my belly, tears streaming, asking you to tell me if you wanted to fight or let go. You came through clear as day. You wanted to stay, you wanted to fight, you wanted to be here.
I felt your yes to life in my whole body. And so right then and there, I too became a fighter. For you.
The truth is- we didn’t know if you were going to make it. With each week that passed, each genetic test that came back negative, each measurement they took, one step at a time… you kept fighting and continued to grow. When I was 19 weeks pregnant with you, things finally became more clear. The doctors saw that your heart wasn’t shaped the same way as most people. In fact, one person out of every 250,000 people has a heart shaped like yours! Looks like you aren’t only a fighter, you are also pretty unique.
With lots of help from family, we found you one of the best Heart Surgeons in the world who has fixed other babies hearts that are just like yours! We got loads of support from family, friends and our new medical team at Stanford who we now trust with all of our hearts. Your heart may be shaped differently, but so far it is functioning pretty well, and the doctors have given us lots of hope that hopefully after one or two surgeries you will live a long and healthy life.
In a few weeks, we get to meet you for the first time. People ask me if I’m getting excited. Yes! I am excited, but the truth is, I am pretty scared and nervous too. I hope that your little heart and lungs continue to work well when you are outside of my body.
I promise to do my best to get support with my fear and anxiety so that I don’t accidentally put any of that onto you. I promise to model living a life where all of our emotions are named and accepted, where personal boundaries are respected and honored, where there is always room to mess up and try again. We get to be imperfect in this family because we are human and we are all learning. I promise to put sweet notes in your lunch boxes until it gets too embarrassing (thanks for leading the way with that one Mom!) I promise to treat your Dad with love and respect so you can see and feel what it is like to be in a healthy relationship and live in a house full of love. I promise to cut the tags out of your shirt when they are itchy, and comfort you when you are sad. I will do my best to leave the breakfast dishes in the sink sometimes so we can go out to play in the rain.
My sweet precious Sky. Your name came to me one day before I knew anything about the journey we would be on together. Now it makes more sense. When we look up at the sky, it’s forever changing, the clouds are coming and going, the sun is rising and setting, the colors are always shifting, and yet it’s always there. We look up at the Sky for wisdom, and to be reminded of endless possibility. We look at the Sky for inspiration and to be reminded of how beautiful life is. You have already taught me so much, and I can’t wait to keep learning and growing with you by my side.
Thank you for coming into our lives and cracking open our hearts. I can’t wait to meet you little buddy.
Love,
Mom
