06/25/2025
Sadly, as we mark the tenth anniversary of the landmark Obergefell vs. Hodges Supreme Court ruling that legalized same-sex marriage nationwide, hard-won rights of the LGBTQ community are under assault on many fronts. While there will still be celebrations, the undercurrent of the menace so many are experiencing will be palpable.
To show our support for our LGBTQ brothers and sisters, we at the Legacies Project offer the story of Ben Helmke, a former wheat farmer, musician, Presbyterian minister, husband, and father of three – who, in his fifties, came out to his wife and children. It wasn’t an easy decision and, as Ben says, “that was a rough couple of years.”
But five years after his wife, Polly, died – he still writes letters to his late wife every year – Ben met the man who would be his longtime partner, Len Quenon.
It took courage for Ben to come out when he did and, while it made for some hard times, ultimately, it led to him being able to live his life as his true self and to find a partner with whom he lived happily for twenty-five years.
We at the Legacies Project know that these kinds of honest, intergenerational exchanges chip away at the fear that underlies bigotry; and the thoughtful and sensitive story Ben’s team of Skyline High students produced on Ben is testimony to the power of those exchanges.
While the LGBTQ community is facing rough times now, hopefully, someday soon, there will be happier days ahead.
In the meantime, we hope everyone can take some inspiration from Ben’s story.
Our mission is to preserve the stories of our elders and, in the process, remind ourselves that they are cherished sources of cultural wisdom and first-hand witnesses to history.