10/01/2026
Five years.
Five years since I last saw your face, heard your voice, hugged you, or told you that I love you.
Five years since su***de took my sweet boy from this world.
Christopher, I miss you in ways I will never be able to put into words. I miss the 15-year-old boy you were, but I also grieve the young man you should be today. You would be 20 years old now. I wonder all the time who you would have become.
There are so many things you have missed.
Birthdays. Holidays. Graduations. Family celebrations. Ordinary Sunday afternoons. Inside jokes. (Walmart-Kmart-Target ) New songs.New places. Your siblings growing up. Family pictures that will forever have someone missing. Moments when I instinctively think, Christopher would love this.
And there are all the things that haven't happened yet that you should be here for, too.
I wonder what you would be doing. What you would look like. What kind of car you would drive. (Maserati, for sure) Who your friends would be. Whether you would be in college, working, or still figuring it all out. I wonder who you would love and what dreams you would be chasing.
Mostly, I just wonder what it would feel like to have all of my children here.
Five years has taught me that time doesn't make you miss someone less. Life keeps moving, but the love doesn't move on. Neither does the empty space where you are supposed to be.
So much has happened since you left, Christopher. Your name has been spoken in schools, at basketball courts, at community events, and in conversations that may have helped another young person choose tomorrow. I am incredibly proud of the good being done in your memory.
But I would trade every bit of it to have you back.
You were never meant to become a story, a mission, a photograph, or a memory.
You were supposed to grow up.
You were supposed to be here.
Five years without you, my beautiful swewt boy.
I miss you every single day, Christopher William.
And I will love you for every single day I have left. đź’™
~ Madre
