07/10/2019
Why do I tell people my child died?
It's not for attention, it's not because I can't "move on" with my life, it's not because it's "all I can focus on"! I tell people my child has died because it has fundamentally changed who I am and how I see the world.
I tell health care professionals because they need to know that they are dealing with someone who has lost trust in themselves/ the system and the fact that in my reality the worst case scenario is that my child could die, one already has!
I tell new people I meet as they will inevitably find out, either through social media, our children talking about their brother or they will ask what I do for a job. I never want it to be an awkward conversation, or to be caught off guard, so I will always try in initiate the topic.
I talk about my son's death to friends and family because we all need to process the events of the day, we all have our own memories and it helps me put together a fuller picture of that day. I ALSO TALK ABOUT HIS LIFE WITH THEM!
I talk about my son's death on social media because I want to create a space for all to feel comfortable talking and asking about our children who are in our hearts not our arms.
I tell people my son died because:
He didn't pass, like a bowel movement;
He isn't lost, I know exactly where he is;
He didn't grow wings, he died!
I use honest language because it helps everyone accept the reality of my world. A reality that no one wants to live in but you can certainly walk alongside. Knowing that you have educated yourself in some small way could make a huge difference to you/ your friend/family member/ complete stranger.
Feeling awkward is hard, I respect that, we all feel awkward around this topic. That's allowed and incredibly natural! This is why I share to help break down this taboo so that in the future we can talk about child loss like any other loss, part of life ###x
