01/05/2023
Domestic Violence is a sticky subject but you know what. IT IS NOT OK TO BEAT OR BITE YOUR SPOUSE!!!
SOMEBODY has to step up. While I know there are many resources for Domestic Violence victims, there still is a large population of people who are enduring right under our noses and we don’t know. Whether its embarrassment, afraid of loneliness or lack of education, NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED.
At the end of 2022, I prepared myself for a change, a new life, but never did I predict that one of my closest friends would be the aggressor in a domestic violence relationship. It all started as a simple trip to my daughters basketball tournament in Waco, TX. My mother and 1 year old son made the trip with me and we spent the night at a friends house. When we arrived, the friends wife was home and welcomed us in. Then my friend came home, the energy was stiff and something seemed off. That night once everyone was sleeping I had a chance to speak with my friend and she seemed extremely disturbed. It was as though they were having marital issues. So I suggested that I would take the kids for the weekend. She sarcastically agrees, and says that it would be ok with approval of the mother.
The next morning rolls around and I ask the mother, she says yes. I also tell the mother that I would like to speak with her before I left town in private…..but anyway…Oh yea, we are good to go. So I go ask the kids if they want to get the trip started by riding with me to the game for the day. When we get in the car, I asked the kids, “Is she(my friend) always this extra like this”… This was the question that opened the floodgates for the truth. The kids told me about a history of abuse and an incident that occurred on Christmas. A few hours later, their mother texted and wanted to meet. We met and the park, let the kids go play, and she told me about the history of abuse and the incident that occurred on Christmas. As flabbergasted as I was, and though the kids had already come clean, it was crazy to think that my friend had done all the things they were telling me. But I knew they were true. The next morning, my friend had an episode and she finally had a moment of honesty and told me her side of the story. She excluded all the juicy details and made it seem as though what she had done was a small thing, like “oh, all I did was wave the knife for them all to sit down and shut up). Obviously im flabbergasted once again. I let her now that it was wrong and we tried to mend the day, it did not work.
Now, my friend has had mental health issues in the past and this is definitely a situation where I believe she may be having another psychotic break, HOWEVER, I will never condone domestic violence. My history with domestic violence includes two deceased friends, one that was lucky enough to make it out, and now this experience with a close friend of mine who was beating her wife and step kids for 5 years and I didn’t know. The guilt I feel is something I have to manage but the need to take action I feel is overwhelming.
With that being said, I introduce to you The Voice of DV. Domestic Violence is real and its right in our backyards. With this non profit organization I plan to pool resources of counselors, housing, clothing, food and any other resources these families may need. Given the current situation Im helping this family with a few things.
I was able to help all three of them, the mother, son and daughter, escape to safety over the weekend and on Tuesday, January 3rd, 2023 the mother went to the police and finally admitted to them about the abuse and was evaluated and treated for multiple bite and stab wounds. This is a family in need of everything. A fresh start. The mom was barely able to get out with the clothes on her back. The case has been reported but as of yesterday Wednesday Jan 4th, 2023 there was no detective assigned, therefore probably no arrest warrant. For that reason alone, I have kept their names anonymous.
While we do question whether the aggressor deserves to go to a mental institute or a jail cell, the fact remains that she is still on the loose and still mentally unstable. As a person that has known her for 14 years, I fear this whole situation, losing a friend and your family, is only going to trigger another break. To prevent that and any future threats or danger, I have chosen to take certain steps to ensure everyone is safe. But then I wonder, how do we protect someone who doesn’t want to be protected or doesn’t know they need to be protected.
This is where the non profit The Voice of DV(Domestic Violence) comes in. The purpose of The Voice of DV is to pool resources for this family and others like them. Of course they will need money for food and shelter, but they will also need clothing, good experiences and a boost of self confidence here and there. The Voice of DV will also educate families and friends on cues and signs of Abuse. The Voice of DV will stop the fear and stand up for those who can’t do it for themselves. I’ve decided to dedicate the next few years of my life to this cause, helping one family at a time.
Right now I am looking for clothing, shoes, toiletries, household wears, food and whatever financial assistance we can get to help this family rebuild. This was a hard post since I really didn’t want to reveal the “Who” but this is serious and real. The mothers birthday is today, she turned 38 I believe. The daughter turned 16 on Christmas(the day of her abuse). The Son is 12. They are currently staying with family and dealing with the stress of the process. The police are involved and they are safe for now.
For more information on how you can help, donate or get involved. My goal is to raise $10,000 this month so that I can help this family get some sense of normalcy and provide training and resources to other families in need. Simply message me. Call me. Text me. If you are in a situation and not sure how to get out, I may not be able to do much at the moment given the situation but feel free to reach out and I promise I will respond as soon as possible! Hit me up! DM message or text 254-307-1533 or 346-277-4654
