02/20/2026
In 2021, I was working full time as a director at a nonprofit organization, earning a PhD, teaching a class, organizing a conference, leading a local climate activism group, serving on the board of an organization, and I was burned out.
My partner was dating someone else with my blessing, since I was not able to spend enough quality time with him. I had hardly any time for social interactions, other than those related to my work. The state of the world (still in covid) gave no reprieve from anxiety. I suffered from frequent migraines, which put me out of commission for entire days at a time, then had to work extra to catch up. It was a never ending cycle.
Then I made a decision. I was going to put my wellbeing first, even if I had to sacrifice my career for a while to do it. I quit my full time job for a part time position at the same organization. I allowed myself to take as long as I needed to write my dissertation, which I completed in 2023, earning my PhD within 6 years (and writing a memoir in the process). I said no to requests to teach, organize, or volunteer, and over time, my existing commitments expired. By 2025 I had hit a much healthier balance of working one full time job, one board commitment, and one volunteer initiative.
In the process of healing from burnout, I had to change not only how much I worked but also my mindset, which was steeped in the values of white supremacy culture. As a woman of color from an immigrant family, I was brought up in a system that was designed to extract my labor, put the needs of others above my own, and had no trouble treating me as dispensable. These values include:
Quantity over quality: Prioritizing measurable results and high output over the depth of relationships or the actual impact of the work produced.
Progress is bigger and more: Success is strictly defined by growth and accumulation rather than by the sustainability or the health of the community.
Urgency: Rigid deadlines and a constant sense of crisis makes it difficult to take the time for self-care or inclusive decision-making.
Perfectionism: Mistakes are viewed as personal failures to be avoided at all costs, which creates an environment where learning and vulnerability are discouraged.
Objectivity: Suppression of emotions and subjectivity in favor of a logical, neutral approach to all things.
One right way: Insisting that there is a single correct method for doing things, effectively silencing alternative approaches and diverse cultural perspectives.
Worship of the written word: Information is only considered valid or "official" if it is documented in writing, and the need to adhere strictly to policies.
Individualism: Emphasizing hard work and personal achievement over asking for help or collective responsibility, leading to burnout.
Denial and defensiveness: When pushback arises, leaders often react with denial and defensiveness rather than listening and taking accountability.
Fear of open conflict: Being labeled “difficult” or “pushy” for setting boundaries and advocating for one’s needs.
In order to heal and prevent burnout in the future, it wasn’t just a matter of working less or doing more yoga, I had to live by a value system that was the opposite of what I had been brought up to believe. This can be summed up as:
Practicing self-compassion: Not beating myself up when I didn’t meet my own or other’s expectations. Releasing perfectionism. Listening to my needs and prioritizing self care.
Setting boundaries: Saying no to obligations and even things that I want to do but are not top priority; saying yes to more free time and cultivating relationships.
Relaxing the sense of urgency: Slowing down, being more mindful, and taking more time for things.
Authenticity: Figuring out what I really want in life, and living with more passion, joy, and truthfulness to my own sense of self.
Practicing these values does not mean my life changed overnight, nor is it always possible to extract ourselves from white supremacy culture. Especially for those who possess multiple marginalized identities, we often have to thread the needle. Jobs have to be kept, bosses have to be pleased, and family members satisfied. However, I am more clear eyed that these expectations come from supremacy culture, and I’ve been conditioned to adhere to them. Undoing that conditioning is essential for my wellbeing. I do not have to make myself sick to please others and feel belonging. My value is not dependent on my production but is intrinsic to who I am. Rather than making decisions based on how it would look on my resume, I started to make decisions based on the value it had for me, regardless of how it might impress others.
Thoreau said, "It is hard to have a Southern overseer; it is worse to have a Northern one; but worst of all when you are the slave-driver of yourself." Today as during Thoreau’s time in the mid 19th century, we still live under a system where our worth tends to be conditioned on how much we produce, and the value of one’s labor is unfairly influenced by one’s race or gender. Instead, preventing burnout and dismantling oppression requires us to see our worth as intrinsic and rest as the fuel for our brilliance. That is what I aim to teach in my workshop on preventing burnout.
https://events.ticketleap.com/tickets/greentara/burnout
