01/24/2026
Haaaaa. Hilarious, but good advice. I've never really understood the bread and milk thing but I'm convinced that it goes back to the depression somehow.
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/17pQV8CptF/
🚨URGENT WINTER ADVISORY: OPERATION BREAD & MILK 🚨
Alright, listen up everyone. The weather peeps are calling for upwards of 24 inches of snow, and we’ve already seen the frantic look in your eyes at the grocery store. You know the drill.
❄️ THE BREAD & MILK SITUATION
We aren’t sure why, but apparently, as soon as the first snowflake hits the ground, the entire town decides they need to make milk sandwiches.
If you haven't already cleared out the dairy aisle, please remember: you are being snowed in for a day or two, not launching a three-year mission to Mars.
🛑 ESSENTIAL vs. NON-ESSENTIAL TRAVEL
It's not worth driving in this to go get a bag of Takis. It's worth driving in this if you need to go to the hospital, or work somewhere that's required to keep society functioning. Tell a friend.
Unless you want to explain to an officer why you’re stuck in a ditchy ditch while clutching a bag of "Fuego" chips, STAY OFF THE ROADS.
🚙 "BUT I HAVE ALL-WHEEL DRIVE!"
Cool. That just means you’ll get stuck in the ditch 20 feet further than everyone else. Gravity and 2 feet of snow do not care about your trim package.
📋 THE PLAN:
✅ Stay home, watch the Pats crush the Broncos
✅ Eat the mountain of bread and milk you just bought.
✅ Wear your Drake Maye pajamas.
✅ Do not make us come find you because you had a "Takis Emergency."
‼️ Most importantly: Don’t Crime.
Stay safe, stay warm, and please—for the love of all things holy—stay home
GO PATS! 🥇🏈