10/05/2026
REMEMBERING LOIS W. | MARCH 4, 1891 – OCTOBER 5, 1988
38 years ago today, the recovery community lost Lois W.
Lois Burnham Wilson died peacefully on October 5, 1988, at the age of 97.
Her life cannot adequately be summarized simply as the wife of A.A. co-founder Bill W.
Lois created a legacy of her own.
She had lived through Bill's alcoholism firsthand — years of fear, frustration, financial hardship, attempts to control his drinking, and eventually the realization that while Bill had found recovery, she needed a path of recovery of her own.
That experience would eventually help change the lives of families around the world.
In the earliest years of A.A., family members were already gathering informally while alcoholics met. Anne Smith, wife of Dr. Bob, had worked with wives and families from the beginning. But there was no formal fellowship, literature, service structure, or clearinghouse specifically for the families and friends affected by another person's alcoholism.
In 1951, Lois W. and her friend Anne B. began changing that.
Working from an upstairs room at Stepping Stones, Lois and Anne contacted 87 known family groups and individuals in the United States, Canada, Ireland, Australia, and South Africa. They began coordinating what became a separate fellowship based on the understanding that family members themselves could benefit from applying the Twelve Steps to their own lives.
That fellowship became Al-Anon Family Groups.
What began with letters written from Lois's desk at Stepping Stones developed into an international fellowship offering families and friends of alcoholics something Lois herself had once desperately needed:
the understanding that their own lives could change, whether or not someone else changed first.
And Lois's work of preservation continued beyond Al-Anon.
In 1979, she founded the Stepping Stones Foundation and served as its first president until her death. Her foresight helped ensure that the Wilsons' home, archives, correspondence, photographs, manuscripts, and historical collections would be preserved and made available to future generations.
There is a particularly moving story from Lois's final days.
Five days before her death, the general manager of A.A.'s General Service Office visited her at Northern Westchester Hospital.
He expressed his gratitude and that of the Fellowship, telling Lois:
“A.A.s owe their lives to you.”
Unable to speak, Lois wrote her response on a pad:
“Not to me, to God.”
It is difficult to imagine a more fitting final reflection from someone whose life had become so deeply intertwined with the history of recovery.
Lois once wrote:
“I believe that people are good if you give them half a chance and that good is more powerful than evil.”
She believed in service.
She believed families could recover.
She believed suffering could become useful to someone else.
And she spent much of her life proving it.
Today we remember Lois Burnham Wilson — co-founder of Al-Anon Family Groups, founder of the Stepping Stones Foundation, early witness to the beginnings of A.A., advocate for families, and a woman whose own experience helped create a path of hope for millions affected by someone else's drinking.
Lois W.
March 4, 1891 – October 5, 1988
With gratitude for a life of extraordinary service.
— Recovery Speakers
Preserving the voices and history of recovery.
Learn more about Lois W. at Stepping Stones