04/23/2026
This is the aftermath of an hour long meltdown at day care.
I don't really talk about the bad days & only my closest friends & family know the full extent of it. I don't talk about how he struggles to self-regulate, & goes from happy to Hulk at the flip of a switch. About how he hits, kicks, bites, scratches & throws things at his caretakers; but only once he starts to get to know them. Maybe unconsciously his brain worries when he starts to attach to someone.
I don't talk about how he sometimes gets sent home from day care early because they can't calm him down. About how we don't know whether his behavior stems from trauma at birth or from an undiagnosed disorder. Or about how he desperately needs a teacher who will love him unconditionally, that won't give up on him.
& I don't talk about the daily anxiety I feel from not knowing what I'll walk into when I pick him up from daycare, or come home to a sitter. About how my stomach drops when I get a phone call from school, & I actually hope he's sick instead of the alternative. About how when he's had a bad day, it physically, mentally & emotionally drains me, because I'm trying everything I know to do & have seen two different therapists. About how much I worry because his behavior has dramatically escalated in the past 6 months & maybe I’m making it worse or how hard I try to not lose my patience. About how angry I feel because some members of my family think he's just being ‘bad' & shake their heads & mutter; but they don't understand trauma. About how broken I feel.
This is hard.
But despite our bad days, my hope rests in my Savior. I see how God created him to be. He is lovable, bright, funny, charismatic, energetic, adorable, resilient, confident, loving, empathetic & fierce. I love him so much that my heart could burst, so I cling to the promise that MY GOD REDEEMS.
-Lisa-
