01/25/2013
A few weeks ago on my way home for work I encountered a young woman whose plight has haunted me ever since. She was standing by the bus stop holding up a sign she’d made from a manila folder with copier paper taped on top of it. This in and of itself is not unusual for any given bus stop in a large city. However this young girl stood out, not because of the long, tan shearling and matching UGG boots that she wore or her matching striped leggings and hat. She stood out because of the look of pure terror and confusion on her face. As I approached her I noticed that her eyes were swollen and surrounded by the deepest red circles that I’d ever seen on someone’s face before. And though both were encircled in an almost burgundy hue one eye was a bit closer to purple than the other. She was visually trembling and avoided all eye contact. And as I stood in front of her to read her sign she held her head down and looked away and I could clearly see shame mixed with the baffle and fear on her face. Her sign written in shaky script read, “Please help me! I need to get home. My boyfriend snapped and I need money for a ticket. I came here for him! I have ID, mail and my hospital discharge papers to prove it.’ My heart broke for her! I asked her where she was from and she replied, Texas. I was speechless. I wanted to cry. She was so very young, between 18 & 20. My own daughter is 17 and not too far behind her. This child was about 5 feet tall with long dark hair that cascaded from underneath her hat around her shoulders. I wanted to ask her more questions but she looked so frightened that I chose not to. Things went silent as I stood there for a minute just looking at this young girl standing out in the cold, wet and rainy January in Chicago weather and I wondered to myself what circumstance brought her to this point. I reached into my pocket and pulled out all of the money that I had on me and said to her, “I do not have much but please take care of yourself and I pray that you get home safely.” When I placed the money in her hand she started crying again and immediately tried to return it. She told me that she’d met some people that she may be able to stay with for a while, that I should keep some money in my pocket for myself and that she’d feel really bad if I didn’t have any money because I’d given it all to her. She begged me to please take some of it back and I assured her that I would be fine. It was only $8.00. If I’d had any more money I would have called her parents who I am sure had no idea where she was, and try to convince her to really go back home. I was very concerned for this girl. She was young and reminded me of my own child. I honestly thought about taking her to my house and putting her up for a while in the guest bedroom until I could send her home. However I didn’t know anything about her and the validity of her story was highly questionable. For all that I knew she could have been a drug addict, pr******te or thief. And then there was the possibility that she was telling the truth. Her boyfriend could have been somewhere watching her. Maybe he’d done it before and maybe that was the reason behind her shakiness. This is a crazy world and I could not risk my children’s safety. So I wished her well and again cautioned her to be safe before I continued to my car. When I reached the car I thought about her for a long while before I drove off. Did her parents know where she was? Was she currently in pain? How long had she’d been like this? Would she be safe out on the streets? What decisions led to this point in her life? As I turned the corner I found myself driving by her again. I almost stopped and told her to get in. I wanted to help her but I couldn’t. I felt helpless. So I did the only thing that I could do, I prayed for her. I prayed for her then and I am still praying today.
I have since looked for the girl, but I have not seen her again. My encounter with her left me feeling really bad and full of what ifs. What if I would have called her parents? What if I had called the police? What if I’d brought her a warm meal? Or what if I’d tried harder to reach her? Of course I know that her story was probably fictitious and with this being the case there is a chance that nothing that I said would have really swayed her from the path that she chose. I doubt that I was the first person who wanted to help her. And I pray that I am not the last. I wonder how many people loved this girl and was worried about her. How many lives had she touched and hearts had she broken with the decisions that she’d made? I pray that she made it home safely and that she has learned from this experience.
L.A.D.I.E.S. I know that many times it may seem as if your parents and others in authority are coming down hard on you or that we may be stopping you from experiencing life. However we do the things that we do because we love you. We’re not trying to stop you from growing. We’re just trying to ensure that you do, safely.
I do not know the true story of that young lady on the street. There is a possibility that she came from an abusive home or just from parents that did not really care for her. But if I were to judge by looking at her I’d say that she had been very well taken care of and beguiled into her current lifestyle because she mistakenly believed the lies of someone that I doubt she even really knew. And now she was alone, away from the safety of her home, family and friends.
So when you find yourself about to do something that you feel may be against your parents’ wishes or if you just have questions about things that you are unsure of ask you parents or another trustworthy adult. And listen to what they say. Open up and receive their instruction.
And parents, let’s do more to help our children. Keep talking, even if they don’t want to hear it. Let’s be more proactive with our girls and boys. Make a concerted effort to build our family bonds, even if it’s just sitting down to dinner together. I am a single mother of three so I am aware that it is hard and schedules are tight but our children are well worth the effort.
Please join me in praying for this young lady, the many others like her and the families whose girls and boys left home but did not return. L.A.D.I.E.S. please heed my advice and be careful so that you do not find yourself in a similar situation.
