Chattanooga Area Incident Reports

Chattanooga Area Incident Reports Real-time reports on traffic, loud noises, suspicious activity, and ongoing situations in the Chattanooga area. We’re monitoring.

10/08/2026

🚨🍗 BREAKING: POPEYES HAS EVERYTHING 🍗🚨
We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming with a major development:
Popeyes actually had EVERYTHING in stock for our order today.
No “we’re out of chicken.”
No “we’re waiting on biscuits.”
No “we only have three sides.”
No employee quietly telling us, “Yeah… we don’t have that.” 😂
We walked in expecting the usual Popeyes Inventory Hunger Games and somehow left with the complete order.
Honestly, we’re not sure whether to eat the food or have it documented by the Smithsonian.
Today’s date will forever be remembered.
We’re monitoring. 👀

🚗💨 USER-SUBMITTED DISCUSSION: HIGHWAY 58 HAS BECOME A GROUP PROJECTA discussion is making the rounds about drivers on Hw...
10/08/2026

🚗💨 USER-SUBMITTED DISCUSSION: HIGHWAY 58 HAS BECOME A GROUP PROJECT
A discussion is making the rounds about drivers on Hwy 58 riding side-by-side with another vehicle, apparently creating their own little rolling roadblock. 😂
The question being raised:
If y’all are traveling together, does everybody really need their own lane?
Because apparently some drivers have decided Highway 58 is no longer a roadway—it’s a social gathering with pavement. 😂
Meanwhile, everyone behind them is just sitting there wondering if they’re witnessing a convoy, a parade, or the world’s slowest passing maneuver.
What do you think? Is driving side-by-side with another vehicle ever acceptable when it’s holding up traffic?
Chattanooga Remember: If the car beside you is close enough to have a conversation with you, you might want to check whether you’re supposed to be passing each other. 😂
We’re monitoring. 👀

10/07/2026

🚨🔥 CAR FIRE REPORTED ON TAFT HIGHWAY 🔥🚨
We’ve received a report of a vehicle on fire on Taft Highway on Signal Mountain, just below the Post Office.
Traffic is reportedly being affected, and drivers may need to find an alternate route if they’re heading toward the front of the mountain.
At the moment, we don’t have information on injuries or what started the fire.
Chattanooga Remember: If your car starts smoking, that is generally considered a pretty strong hint that it’s time to pull over. 😂🔥
If you’re in the area, give emergency crews plenty of room.
We’re monitoring. 👀

10/07/2026

FOLLOW-UP UPDATE:
We have received word from the Chattanooga Incident Report Raccoon Staff Oversight Committee that several raccoons have been formally reprimanded for excessive use of ChatGPT in the preparation of comment responses.
Raccoon #3 has been suspended pending investigation.
Raccoon #7 has denied all allegations, despite being found behind the dumpster with six browser tabs open.
Management would like to remind everyone that our raccoons are expected to produce their own original material, preferably by knocking over trash cans and screaming at approximately 2:17 AM.
Further use of artificial intelligence by raccoon personnel will result in disciplinary action, including but not limited to mandatory dumpster duty.
This announcement has been approved by the Ministry of Silly Editorial Decisions.
We’re monitoring. 👀

🌮🚨 SIGNAL MOUNTAIN DINNER DEBATE 🚨🌮USER-SUBMITTED DISCUSSIONA post making the rounds in a Signal Mountain group has spar...
10/06/2026

🌮🚨 SIGNAL MOUNTAIN DINNER DEBATE 🚨🌮
USER-SUBMITTED DISCUSSION
A post making the rounds in a Signal Mountain group has sparked a little debate about kids, parenting, and restaurant etiquette.
The complaint involves children reportedly kicking a ball around tables while people were eating, screaming, arguing, and even kicking the ball up the stairs at El Agave 2 on Signal Mountain. The poster says the parents were sitting nearby talking while the chaos unfolded. 😳
Now the question for the community:
At what point does “kids being kids” become “your kids are now part of everyone else’s dinner?” 😂
We’re not taking sides here—we’re curious where people land on this one.
Parents: How much restaurant behavior do you let slide?
Everyone else: How many soccer balls to the head before you politely ask for the check? ⚽️🌮😂
We’re monitoring. 👀

10/05/2026

⚡️🚨 HARRISON POWER OUTAGE CONFUSION 🚨⚡️
We’ve been seeing people around Harrison asking the same question today:
“Why does the power keep going out?” 😭
Lights on.
Lights off.
Lights back on.
Lights off again.
At this point, Harrison residents are starting to wonder if EPB is testing a new “surprise darkness” feature. 😂
We don’t have a confirmed explanation yet, but if your lights are flickering or going out, you’re definitely not the only one wondering what’s going on.
If anyone has the scoop on what’s causing the repeated outages, let us know.
Chattanooga Remember: If your Wi-Fi goes out too, that’s when the real emergency begins. 😂
We’re monitoring. 👀

🚨🫏 HARRISON DONKEY SITUATION HAS ESCALATED 🫏🚨USER-SUBMITTED REPORTHarrison’s ongoing Donkey Situation™ has apparently en...
10/02/2026

🚨🫏 HARRISON DONKEY SITUATION HAS ESCALATED 🫏🚨
USER-SUBMITTED REPORT
Harrison’s ongoing Donkey Situation™ has apparently entered a new phase.
A resident reports that what started as 3 uninvited donkeys has now increased to approximately 4 or 5. 😂
At this point, we’re no longer asking “Whose donkeys are these?”
We’re asking:
“WHO KEEPS DROPPING OFF DONKEYS?!?” 😂
The resident is asking owners to come claim their four-legged freeloaders before the weather rolls in tomorrow. Apparently, the donkeys have discovered Harrison’s version of an all-inclusive resort:
🌱 Unlimited grass
🏡 Private accommodations
🌧️ Weather protection
🚪 No reservation required
And judging by the photos, they appear to have absolutely no intention of checking out.
Harrison residents, if your donkey has recently gone missing, please check your property.
At this rate, we may need to establish a Harrison Donkey Census. 🫏📋
We’re monitoring. 👀

10/01/2026

🚨👀 USER-SUBMITTED DISCUSSION: DRONES OVER SODDY DAISY?
We’ve received a user-submitted question from a resident in the Soddy Daisy area wondering about some unusual activity in the sky. 👀
According to the post, they’ve spotted one to three stationary drones between roughly 2–4 AM, reportedly visible toward the southeast from the Thatcher Crest neighborhood.
So naturally, the comments are now open for the Soddy Daisy Department of Unexplained Things. 😂
Are these drones? Someone testing equipment? Security? A late-night delivery service that REALLY takes its job seriously? Or has Soddy Daisy officially entered its UFO era? 🛸
We don't know what they are or who they belong to, so we're putting this one out there for discussion.
Anybody else seeing these? Know what they’re doing?
We’re monitoring. 👀

09/29/2026

🚨 🍕 USER-SUBMITTED REPORT: DOMINO’S PARKING LOT TURNS INTO WWE 🍕🚨
We’ve received a report of three parties getting into a fight in front of the Domino’s on Hwy 58.
According to the report, things reportedly escalated to the point where one party attempted to push another into traffic. 😳
At this point, we’re not sure what started the altercation, but apparently “30 minutes or it’s free” has officially been replaced with “30 minutes or it’s a felony.” 😂
If you’re heading through the area, keep your eyes open and give everyone involved plenty of room. Nobody needs to become an accidental topping.
Chattanooga Remember: If you’re going to fight over pizza, at least wait until you get it home. 🍕😂
We’re monitoring. 👀

09/27/2026

🏃 IRONMAN CHATTANOOGA: THE RUNNERS
🚨 THE FINAL BOSS HAS ARRIVED 🏃‍♂️🔥
After swimming 2.4 miles and biking 116 miles, today's Ironman athletes have arrived at the final challenge:
A 26.2-MILE RUN.
At this point, we're not even calling it running.
We're calling it “moving forward until someone gives you a medal.” 😂
🏊 Swim: Done
🚴 Bike: Done
🏃 Marathon: “You've GOT to be kidding me.”
Meanwhile, Chattanooga spectators are lining the streets yelling:
“YOU'RE ALMOST THERE!”
They're not.
They still have approximately 26 miles to go. 😂
Huge respect to everyone out there today. Finish strong! 💪
Chattanooga Remember: If you see an Ironman runner today, offer encouragement. They've been exercising since before most of us finished our coffee.
We’re monitoring. 👀

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