Project Civility

Project Civility By cultivating civility in communities across the country, we can rebuild connections and foster mutual understanding.

09/01/2026

Civility isn’t about meeting in the middle, staying quiet, or compromising on fundamental human rights and dignity. If that’s what civility meant, I’d reject it too.
True civility isn’t designed for comfortable living rooms—it exists precisely for the moments when everything is on the line. Fighting fiercely for your convictions without dehumanizing the person standing across from you isn’t surrender. It’s the most courageous fight there is.
When the room is on fire, what’s the alternative? Burning the whole house down?
Let’s do the hard work together. Let’s project civility.

08/29/2026

When did disagreeing on an issue turn into a declaration of war?

Our modern culture is actively training us to default to the “enemy reflex” the moment someone doesn’t see eye-to-eye with us. It makes us feel righteous, but it destroys our communities.

The person across from you isn’t an enemy—they’re your neighbor at the grocery store or the parent cheering next to you in the bleachers. Disagreement is inevitable, but division is a choice.

Stop taking the bait. Refuse to make an enemy.

08/27/2026

If Justices Gorsuch and Sotomayor can find common ground from completely opposite ends of the judicial spectrum, what’s our excuse?
Respect isn’t a transaction. We don’t extend respect because of who they are or whether they agree with us—we extend it because of who we choose to be.
Civility is an internal posture. Before your next tough meeting, board room discussion, or political chat over the backyard fence, check your internal posture and assume good intentions.
If it works at the highest court in the land, it can work in our everyday lives. Let’s project civility out there!

08/25/2026

Winning an argument feels good in the moment, but preserving the relationship lasts forever. 🤝
When a conversation hits a deadlock, remember the 3 rules of a civil exit:
1️⃣ Prioritize connection over victory — Don’t sacrifice the relationship for the last word.
2️⃣ State the value of the relationship — Let them know you care more about them than the disagreement.
3️⃣ Leave without throwing stones — Skip the sarcastic jab or parting shot.
Keep the door open for the future.

What happens when you have done the work, listened with curiosity, and yet you still find yourselves completely deadlock...
07/23/2026

What happens when you have done the work, listened with curiosity, and yet you still find yourselves completely deadlocked?

This is the moment for a Civil Departure.

Read more at: https://bit.ly/4b7UjdU

07/21/2026

We’ve all been there. You are in the thick of a tough conversation, the pleasantries are totally over, and the disagreement has officially turned hot. Your body is screaming at you to strike back or completely shut down.

When a volatile disagreement threatens to divide us, we hit the "messy middle" of conflict. Traditional advice tells us to find a quick policy compromise just to keep a fragile peace. But active civility is different. It’s not about extinguishing your fire—it’s about making sure your fire warms the room instead of burning the house down.

To do that, we have to refuse to let a single issue define a whole person.

Next time the heat rises, try these three simple steps:

1. Resist reductiveness. Remember that the person across from you is a complex human being with a history and fears you know nothing about.

2. Shift to curiosity. Instead of forming your next rebuttal, ask an open-ended question like, "Help me understand how you arrived at that perspective."

3. Look for the motivation. Listen closely for the underlying value driving their stance—whether it stems from fear, protection, or love.

For more strategies on fostering civility in everyday life, follow Project Civility.

07/21/2026

We’ve all been there. You are in the thick of a tough conversation, the pleasantries are totally over, and the disagreement has officially turned hot. Your body is screaming at you to strike back or completely shut down.

When a volatile disagreement threatens to divide us, we hit the “messy middle” of conflict. Traditional advice tells us to find a quick policy compromise just to keep a fragile peace. But active civility is different. It’s not about extinguishing your fire—it’s about making sure your fire warms the room instead of burning the house down.

To do that, we have to refuse to let a single issue define a whole person.

Next time the heat rises, try these three simple steps:

1. Resist reductiveness. Remember that the person across from you is a complex human being with a history and fears you know nothing about.

2. Shift to curiosity. Instead of forming your next rebuttal, ask an open-ended question like, “Help me understand how you arrived at that perspective.”

3. Look for the motivation. Listen closely for the underlying value driving their stance—whether it stems from fear, protection, or love.

For more strategies on fostering civility in everyday life, follow Project Civility.

Seeking the larger story allows you to stand firm in your convictions while expanding your view of the person next to yo...
07/15/2026

Seeking the larger story allows you to stand firm in your convictions while expanding your view of the person next to you.

Next week, we bring this playbook full circle with the final step: Civil Departure. Until then, don’t back down, just zoom out.

07/13/2026

In a hyper-divided culture, we’ve developed a really lazy habit. 🛑
When we look at people, do we only see their “issues” or political yard signs? It’s easy to reduce complex human beings down to simple talking points, but it’s ruining our ability to have decent conversations.
If you are stepping into a tough conversation or a tense room today, remember that humanity presides over all.
Try these 3 shifts to change the entire chemistry of the room:
1️⃣ Separate the person from the position. Mentally draw a line between the individual and their opinion. They are a neighbor, a co-worker, or a family member—not an enemy.
2️⃣ Listen to hear, don’t just learn to reload. Stop waiting for them to pause just so you can launch your next conversational missile. Listen to understand their perspective.
3️⃣ Acknowledge their dignity out loud. You don’t have to agree with someone to validate them. Try saying: “I see how passionately you care about this, even though we view it differently.”
Let’s stop reducing each other to single talking points. Today, look at the person standing in front of you and let humanity preside.
👉 Next week, we are tackling the “messy middle” of a disagreement and how to zoom out for the larger story. Stay tuned!
Empathy InAction

What happens when civility and injustice seem to collide?Many people assume civility means tolerating harmful behavior o...
07/06/2026

What happens when civility and injustice seem to collide?

Many people assume civility means tolerating harmful behavior or remaining silent to keep the peace. This week's column explores a different perspective: civility doesn't require us to abandon our boundaries - it challenges us to upload them without abandoning our humanity.

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