06/09/2026
I haven't been posting because I've been struggling pretty hard over the last few days. I've been experiencing extreme fatigue. It's not a pleasant feeling and every day I'm looking forward to this heart surgery recovery being behind me. I would do just about anything for it to be over and to be feeling not only better, but even better than I've been feeling over the last couple of years.
I had my post op follow up appointment with my cardiac surgeon yesterday. It went great. Even though the last few days have felt extra tough, I'm actually healing on track and my heart is actually doing well! I was even taken off of the heart med I've been on since my surgery. I'm no longer on any meds, which is a huge deal to me because I'm hoping not having the side effects of medications will help me feel better and speed up my healing.
My surgeon has put in a referral for cardiac rehabilitation. She said there's usually a waiting list. I called today to get that process in motion. Now I'm just waiting to hear back.
I hated going back to the hospital yesterday. I've been struggling with memories of the ICU. The smells in the hospital, the equipment, everything basically kept making me have flashbacks.
While waiting for my EKG appointment, I mentioned to someone sitting beside us that I don't like being back in the hospital and that it's really hard for me.
He said he didn't mind being there because "they saved my life 3 years ago."
I thought about how I almost lost my life when my right heart went into heart failure, while I was in the recovery room. I was rushed back into surgery and miraculously they saved my life. I struggle with almost dying, but I think I need to be more like the man I met and focus on how they saved my life and not focus on almost losing my life.
Cardiac rehab not only focuses on helping you get your strength back and helping to get your heart strong again, it also includes therapy for PTSD that is often experienced from surgery and the hospital stay in the ICU. The ICU memories are the worst for me. There are no good memories from my stay there. It was a frightening and painful experience.
I'm still here and that's what I try to focus on. No matter how difficult recovery is. I'm grateful every day that they saved my life. I just can't wait for life to get back to normal. It feels like it's been forever, even though on Thursday it will only be 4 weeks.
Mike has been amazing. He has not only been an amazing caregiver to the animals, he's also been an amazing gardener. He's taking care of everything, including me.
I just wanted to do a post to get us back in the good ol FB algorithm, I didn't mean to share so much about my recovery. Maybe it will be helpful in healing instead of keeping it inside.
This morning I had a wonderful time with Jackson. We walked and talked and walked and talked. I didn't get any photos. I was just happy being in the moment with him.
I did get this photo of Lucy.
She's so adorable.
I can't wait to be back to all things chickens and for this recovery to be behind me. I miss all the time I'm used to spending with them.
