08/18/2026
Currently Incarcerated Man: “As a kid, I cried myself to sleep many nights because I didn’t understand why my mother would talk so bad about my father -then turn around and tell me that I was just like my father. I didn’t know how to ask my mother to stop. I just walked around angry. She was all I had and from the things she said to me, I didn’t have nobody.”
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Mothers, this is a hard conversation, but one we need to have—especially when we talk about keeping our sons out of prison.
Please stop speaking negatively about your children's fathers within earshot of your children. You may be angry. You may have every reason to be hurt. You may have legitimate concerns about who their father is and what he has done.
But your son is listening.
And when you repeatedly tell a boy how worthless, irresponsible, dangerous, or no-good his father is—and then turn around and tell him, “You're just like your father”—you may be planting an identity in him that he will eventually begin to live out.
A young boy who grows up believing he is bad, unwanted, worthless, or destined to become his father can eventually stop fighting that narrative.
And that's where the danger begins.
Because when a child doesn't believe he has value, he may stop valuing himself. When he doesn't believe his future matters, he may make choices that destroy that future. When he believes he is already destined to fail, consequences can start to mean very little.
This is not about blaming mothers for their sons' choices. Boys are responsible for the decisions they ultimately make. But as adults, we have a responsibility to understand how powerful our words, expectations, and examples can be.
If we want to keep our sons out of prison, we have to do more than tell them, “Don't go to jail.”
