04/18/2026
Don't forget the CODE OF CONDUCT for speed dating!!
You have the right to feel as safe as reasonably possible, and to have your boundaries respected. No person should be required or pressured to interact with any other person at the event that they do not wish to. This means we expect everyone to treat other people with respect and to help make this environment welcoming for everybody who might show up.
(That being said, we do not vet or vouch for anyone at the event; for future interactions with those you meet, you must date at your own risk.)
1. Do not insult or intimidate. It is never okay to insult or threaten anyone at any Mile High Kink Q***r and Poly Community events for any reason or in any way. It is particularly unacceptable to mistreat anyone because of their age, ethnicity, race, gender, sexual orientation, gender presentation, disability or STD status.
2. Do not harass, puppydog, or impose yourself in people’s personal space. Although flirtation is often a part of most polyam events, it is crucial that the ways you give attention to other folks never turn into harassment or puppydogging (quietly following someone around hoping they will approach you). If you have any doubt about whether you’re approaching someone in an appropriate way, please err on the side of NOT doing the thing you’re worried about.
3. Do not touch without asking, and do not touch much. Please ask before touching people. Unwanted touch (even on the shoulder, hand, etc.) is not okay here. Offering a handshake or high-five (using words!) is okay assuming you are also ready to hear a polite no; please do not ask for or give hugs to those you do not already have a hugging relationship with.
4. Take “no” for an answer, and take it as such the first time. Whether it’s asking about touch or asking about anything else, take “no” for an answer.
5. Do not “escalate the date.” This means: Do not propose future plans outside the community. Do not say “are you going to say yes to me?”. Do not mention that you’re planning to go see a concert and then look meaningfully at your conversation partner. Those are all things that would be normal to do when meeting someone at a vanilla party; there’s nothing inherently wrong with them- but since not everyone is out or enmeshed in the same parts of the community, we ask that you stay focused where you are.
6. Do not dragon/unicorn hunt, and do date as an individual. While multiple forms of ENM are valid, we are built for and by the q***r polyamorous community.
Consequences
You may be permanently removed from any/all Mile High Kink Q***r and Polyam Community events for breaking any of the above rules, or for making other attendees distinctly uncomfortable in countless ways not described above. When the situation is mild and clearly unintentional, we may, at our discretion, let you stay on the condition that you do no such thing ever again, or we may make the removal temporary. However, no such leniency is guaranteed. Feedback from other attendees is monitored over time to look for patterns of mild but toxic misconduct. The above consequences apply to that kind of pattern as well.
Your Rights as a Participant:
You have the right to feel as safe as reasonably possible, and to have your boundaries respected.
You have the right to not join any of your dates due to safety, ethical considerations, past behavior, or comfort (for instance, if you are matched with a client, coworker, family member, ex…). If you do take this action, please let the host know and be back promptly for the next round.
What to do when people violate these norms at the event
To achieve our goals, we want to hear about all instances of misconduct.
Please do one of the two following things if you
witness someone violating the above norms in the letter or in spirit:
1.Mention it in the matches form
2. Tell a host immediately. How we respond is up to you. We can immediately talk to the person or mediate a discussion between you and that person if you so wish. Depending on the issue, we can also ask the person to leave the event. You are welcome to approach us with a friend along for support, if that would help
Send a message to learn more
