06/05/2026
By the grace of God, I will be 33 this year with no ambition - Fr Samuel Okpara, MSP
Growing up, I had beautiful dreams. I wanted to build empires of business and one day become an impactful leader. The potential was there, and everything seemed to align in support of those dreams.
Then came that still voice within me, gradually calling me to discern the priesthood. It made no sense to me.
Though I came from a pious family, I also enjoyed life like every other young boy. I tried to silence that desire. I fought it. I tried to kill it. But the more I resisted, the louder it became until, eventually, I submitted.
Whatever I do, I like to do well. I have never liked being an “O yes member.”
So when I finally submitted, I immersed myself fully in seminary formation. Partly because I discovered that thousands applied, yet only twenty of us were admitted. Out of that twenty, ten of us was ordained. Many of those not admitted or ordained seemed, to my human judgment, more qualified than I was.
That was my first lesson: vocation is not about who appears better. It is about God’s choice, which often runs contrary to human calculations. Like you didn’t choose your family, you can’t choose who becomes priests.
Then came the second struggle.
The more open I became to discernment, the more I realized that this calling I had been running from was too sacred, too weighty, too great for me. I began to feel unworthy.
So there I was, torn between two opposing pulls.
On one side was my childhood dream of building earthly empires.
On the other side was the crushing awareness that I was not even worthy of the spiritual empire God seemed to be calling me into.
There were days I prayed to be expelled from the seminary. There were seasons I became less serious.
But if God truly wants someone, He always finds a way to keep that soul from drifting too far.
What kept me was this:
The Church teaches that though an individual may perceive a call, personal conviction alone is not enough. That is why there is formation, discernment, and those who play the role Eli played for Samuel.
That understanding gave me peace.
I resolved within myself: since I never heard a literal voice from heaven saying, “Samuel, I want you to be a priest,” then I would not leave unless the same Church that admitted me clearly discerned otherwise.
If they did not send me away, I would remain.
That is the hidden struggle behind many authentic vocations. Read Scripture. Read history. Many Catholic priests whom you call jobless have similar stories. A true call often frightens a man before it forms him. Till now, I still feel overwhelmingly unworthy each time I reflect on priesthood as a vocation.
Why this long reflection?
Because since we spoke against fake miracles and manipulative prophecies, some have threatened me and many advised me to go and “discover my gift” and build empires like their prophets and celebrity priests.
Others try to guilt-trip us:
“See how people insult you online because you stooped so low.”
Then there are those disappointed that younger priests are speaking while many older priests remain silent. This is the group that tag us content creator Gen-Z priests.
So let me say this clearly.
The day I lay prostrate and the names of countless “dead men and women” whom we Catholics call saints were invoked over me was the day I died to the kind of ambition many people expect. Your words don’t move us except it is a truth.
For your information, I have no ambition to build earthly empires.
No ambition to build houses.
No ambition to acquire wealth.
No ambition to live like Methuselah.
No ambition to marry or have children. I have one ambition: to save my soul and help save every soul willing to be saved.
You cannot pressure a dead man.
I died the day of my ordination.
Yes, as a human being, the temptation to live and build still comes. But by God’s grace, I remind myself: never.
The primary call of a priest is not to build orphanages, psychiatric hospitals, or public charity projects simply to impress people or distract them from error. It’s not to build companies and employ people so that he can boast of how relevant he is to many people’s survival.
No. The empire a priest is called to build is truth.
His assignment is to preach and live the Gospel faithfully.
If priests and pastors do that well, society itself will produce people responsible people of justice, compassion. Society will produce people who are after excellence and structures that will take care of other things that people need and keep demanding from their prophets in Africa.
And to those accusing us of stooping low through online engagement: Did Christ not stoop low enough to become man? Stoop low to be mocked, dragged, stripped naked, flogged like a common criminal?
If truth must descend into the digital streets to be heard, then we too must become all things to all people so that the Gospel may reach some not minding the mud or stones thrown at us.
As for older priests and bishops not engaging online, they are doing exactly what they should.
Why should they “fight” faith battles they have already trained us to fight? That would mean they didn’t train or mentor us well.
If we younger priests were erring, they would correct us privately or publicly. If they’re not correcting us, what does that say to you?
Sometimes I am tempted to blame our lay faithful. If more were sufficiently formed to identify error and defend truth themselves, and if more are willing to embrace New Media Evangelization is recommended by the Church, many of us would simply support quietly from the background, as our elders often do.
But too often, many wait for a priest to tell them what is true before they can stand for it. That itself reveals how much formation is still needed. You may infer that it means some of us didn’t do enough. And perhaps that is why some of us must do better now to keep speaking.
As for those that feel disappointed seeing priests on media, who say we are demystifying the priesthood, your disappointment is not bad. We feel disappointed at God sometimes how much more mere men like us.
If these reflections convince you, fine. If they do not, that is also fine. We humans beings will always manufacture reasons to defend whatever we do not wish to surrender. I just defended too.
But understand this: The aim of these people pained so much is to destroy online what the Church build offline. The “how” is to silence and chase from online and social media, priests who are not silent and have become a bad luck to their plans and businesses.
They can go any length for it. But silence is no virtue when truth is under assault. That’s why we speak irrespective of the insults.
If Christ began His public ministry at 30 and was crucified at 33, in today’s world, speaking as plainly as He did, He might be kpaid before 31.
That is how hostile this age has become to truth.
So no, we will not be silent. Not while souls are at stake. And even if “selfishly,” we won’t because to keep silent is to put our souls at stake too before God whom we shall account to. I’m not afraid of death. I’m afraid of dying in sin of silence. I fear only He who has the power to kill both body and soul in hell.
If you read to the end, you deserve some accolades 😂
Fr Samuel Okpara, MSP
