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Lil Quacks Refuge., Christchurch (2026)

17/06/2026

Hey wildling fam!

This isnt my story to write really its someone elses, its their time energy and rescue, i write this story because it fully needs to be read and seen and while they dont care for the credit, people need to see the blessing of teamwork from these amazing humans.....

Last nights rescue mission was brought to you by teamwork, poor decision making, gravity, and ducks.

We got a call from Uninhibited DUCKS North Canterbury Duck Rescue about four domestic ducks living in the waterways that had very obviously been dumped. Actually I missed her morning mesg, but, got a later one, she offered for us to go together to try and catch these beautiful babies, and of course I jumped at the chance, well untill I ended up being too unwell.....

Now normally I would have been out there myself with her, i do rescue sick or not, however, after careful consideration, I decided that mixing steep waterway banks, slippery mud, winter and my tendency to occasionally have a seizures yesterday sounded less like rescue and more like a headline.

"Local rescuer retrieved alongside ducks.'
So I did what any responsible person would do.

I volunteered Jess Hazeldine as tribute.....
Jess jumped at it.....Poor life choice, Jess.

Jess, being the wonderful human she is, immediately recruited another rescuer. Kim from uninhibited ducks recruited a couple more people. Within minutes what started as four dumped ducks had somehow become a full-scale tactical operation.

The rescue itself, meanwhile, had chosen violence.

Now I don't know exactly what happened, but at some point Jess must have felt bad that the ducks were wet because she launched herself into the waterway as well.

Nobody pushed her.
Nobody asked her to.
She simply decided rescue wasn't immersive enough.
The ducks: "Finally, a worthy opponent."
The waterway: Mine now.
The ducks: "One of us. One of us. One of us."

Obviously she was going out in sympathy for me.
I can only assume was an act of solidarity with the ducks. Obviously she knew the assignment if no one falls into water, ditch, or, hole, can you really call it a rescue?

Despite becoming one with the habitat, Jess managed to catch two ducks. Kim caught the other two. Or maybe the ducks caught jess and kim, all I know is it was a fairly even score....

An absolutely fantastic result considering the ducks appeared to have attended at least three previous evasion courses and were operating at expert level.

Then the story somehow got even better.
David, who is Jess's recruited asked:

"Would they actually enjoy life with a goose?"

Now for those unfamiliar with geese, this is roughly the equivalent of asking if you'd enjoy living with a heavily armed dinosaur that occasionally screams at clouds.

Jess explained that life on the Ark is basically a United Nations meeting run entirely by waterfowl and somehow everyone gets along.

So David looked at these four dumped ducks and said:

'Well bu**er it, they can come live with me."

And just like that these beautiful babies went from dumped in a waterway to having a forever home.

Far out, rescue is wild.
One minute you're discussing animal welfare.
The next minute your volunteers are swimming.
Then a goose enters the conversation.
Then someone adopts four ducks.

I am so incredibly thankful to everyone involved.
To kim at Uninhibited Duck Rescue for making the call, and heading a full rescue operation.

To Jess for testing the water temperature on behalf of the entire rescue community.

To David for opening his home to four very lucky ducks.

And while im at it Kim, who runs an absolutely amazing rescue and is one of those people who quietly gets stuff done while the rest of us are busy falling into waterways and yelling at birds, does an amazing job in genral ya all if you dont follow her page really should!

Anyway...The ducks are safe.
Jess is mostly dry.
The goose is apparently gaining new employees.

And somewhere out there four ducks are probably wondering why their attempted life of crime ended with free accommodation.

Rescue is often portrayed as one person standing heroically holding an animal.

But it is simply that it's usually a collection of slightly unhinged people standing in mud, chasing ducks, falling into waterways, making terrible decisions, and somehow changing lives in the process.

Rescue, ladies and gentlemen. This is rescue.

Remember teamwork makes the dream work!

Hey wildling fam,I dont like talking about me, I actually hate talking about me, but, in another installment of lets fuc...

17/06/2026

Hey wildling fam,

I dont like talking about me, I actually hate talking about me, but, in another installment of lets f**ken talk about it here we go!

Get ya coffee ready for another naenae scandal day.....

Shockingly, and I know this will absolutely devastate some people, I am in fact a certified spastic (and dont start getting offended now on use of words they are just words)

I have epilepsy, seizures, vocal tics, physical tics, and a brain injury from a home invasion many years ago. Apparently getting your head rearranged by life can have some interesting long-term side effects. Yup not just your garden variety spazmo over here....

Now before anyone starts clutching their pearls and assuming this means I've been heroically overcoming adversity every day while inspirational music plays in the background, let's be clear.

Nothing changed.

Yesterday I was still rescuing animals. (And falling into holes)
Today I'm still rescuing animals. (And falling into holes)
Tomorrow I will still be rescuing animals. (And falling into to holes)

The only thing that changed is now some of you know.

One of the weird things people don't understand about neurological conditions is they don't always look how people think they should look.

A lot of people expect disability to be obvious. Visible. Constant.

Reality is far messier than that.
Some days my brain is operating on what appears to be eldritch magic and pure chaos. Other days? Well......

I once had a conversation with DOC and rattled through every animal we had in care at the time. Somewhere around 130 animals. Species, locations, treatments, histories, personalities.

They stopped and asked, "How do you even know all that?"

Maaattteee like come on now.....
I don't know how old I am.
I genuinely forget my own age.

But I can tell you about two hedgehogs named Peanut and Butter that came through rescue over a year ago and still wonder if they're out there living their best little hedgehog lives.

I can remember the duck that hated everyone.
The goose that hated Brett.
The magpie that thought a cat was its boyfriend.
The sheep that got groomed by ducks.

My brain has apparently decided this information is critical for survival.

Not my age.
Not where I left my phone, glasses, first born....
Just Duck lore.

The educational bit here is that brain injuries, epilepsy, seizures and neurological conditions affect everyone differently. Some people struggle with memory. Some struggle with speech. Some struggle physically. Some have sensory issues. Some have all of the above, but,
Many people become incredibly good at adapting around the bits that don't work so well.

You see the finished product, not the amount of weird wiring underneath keeping the lights on.

Most of the time that's fine.
Most of the time you wouldn't even know.
But every now and then we get days like today.

Days where the brain decides it would like to run Windows 95 while attempting seventeen updates simultaneously.

Days where the tics are louder.
Days where the seizures have been a bit too friendly.
Days where everything takes longer than it should.

The animals are still fed.
The rescues are still happening.
The ducks are still committing crimes.

I'm just running on reduced processing power and a concerning amount of stubbornness.

As do we all.

None of those things automatically mean anything about a person's value, intelligence, character, or capability. They just are. The meaning gets added by other people.

The seizure doesn't care if you're a rescue worker, a CEO, a parent, an artist, or a complete menace to society. It doesn't arrive carrying some grand lesson or moral judgement. It just exists.

Some people in rescue are sometimes in it without 'real jobs' because we are bad for business, being sick alot is never good for business, some of us are in rescue simply to play our part in society, im here because its in me, others because they have nothing else, and need a purpose what ever it is it simply is no positive or negative it just is.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have 130 animals, approximately 7,000 duck-related facts, and absolutely no idea how old I am.

Teamwork makes the dreamwork

16/06/2026

Hey wildling fam,

I wanted to talk about this rescue, not because of the rescue itself, but because sometimes rescue looks a lot different from what people think it does, I wasnt even going to post about it there is heaps of rescues we do that we dont post, because sometimes rescue isn't dramatic Facebook posts, public outrage, and everyone demanding answers.

Sometimes rescue is shutting the hell up.
Sometimes we know exactly how an animal got somewhere.

We know why it's there.
We know who was involved.
We know where it came from.
We know where it's going.

And sometimes the most important thing we can do is keep that information to ourselves.

This wee girl ended up stranded in a car park with no food and no water. We knew far more about the situation than we ever could share publicly, but none of that was important to anyone outside the people involved, that isnt ego either that is looking at the reality of it.

What was important is that because we knew the full story, we knew exactly what help she needed.
We knew how to keep her safe.
We knew where she belonged.And when the time was right, we knew how to get her back to her family.

Had we jumped online looking for someone to blame, looking for attention, or trying to turn it into a public spectacle, none of that would have helped her.

Instead, we were able to focus on the animal in front of us.

Back to the Land Ark she came for food, water, a safe place to stay, and what can only be described as an all inclusive holiday package she absolutely did not ask for.

Then yesterday, after a bit of luck and a lot of work behind the scenes, she went home.
No drama.
No public shaming.
No nasty posts.

No turning somebody's difficult situation into entertainment.

Just quietly doing what needed to be done.

I think this is also why, when we attend car strikes, take in surrendered animals, or respond to situations that look a bit odd from the outside, we try very hard not to be judgemental.

Because life does weird s**t.
Sometimes really weird s**t.
Sometimes good people end up in difficult situations.

Sometimes there is a whole story sitting behind an animal that the public will never know.And trust me, this was one of those times where I absolutely could have made a post about it. The situation was so unbelievably unhinged it practically wrote the jokes itself. The material was right there. Served up on a silver platter. Gift wrapped by the universe. But not every story needs to become content.

Sometimes the better choice is to put the jokes back in the box, keep a little dignity around the people involved, and focus on getting the best outcome for the animal.

Because at the end of the day, the goal isn't to win Facebook. The goal is to help.

Although I will admit the universe is testing me occasionally by delivering situations so absurd they feel less like rescues and more like rejected episodes from a low budget wildlife sitcom.

It's about knowing when to speak, when to stay quiet, and remembering that compassion doesn't stop at the species line.

Some of the best rescues you'll never hear the full story of.
You'll just see the happy ending.
And, that's probably exactly how it should be sometimes.

Dont get me wrong I will bulls**t, if its going to educate then sure I will call it out, but, You don't need to play the victim, make others sound like a victim, lash out in anger, or turn every situation into a public spectacle to get attention.

I've seen people proudly say, "This animal came from a domestic violence situation, but we're not going to tell you about it."

The thing is, by saying that, you've already told people about it, privacy truly matters, then protect the privacy. The animal's care should be the story, not the circumstances that make the rescue sound more dramatic.

Sometimes I read posts like that and wonder who it's actually for. Is it for the animal? Is it for the people involved? Or is it a way of signalling that you know something important that everyone else doesn't?

There is a difference between protecting someone's dignity and teasing their trauma for engagement.

You don't need to hint at the details to prove you're being discreet. You can simply care for the animal, do the work, and keep the confidence you've been entrusted with.

The rescue should never become secondary to the rescuer's need to be seen as the keeper of some secret.

The loudest response isn't always the best one. More often than not, the best outcomes come from approaching people with compassion, and focusing on solving the problem rather than finding someone to blame.

Anyway enjoy our mystery rescue being released back to her family yesterday after spending a few days at the land ark her just walking up to her family like she didnt just spend days in some weird retreat and know if you ever ring me and say hey I have a really crazy story for you and dont know what to do, know i wont judge I have prob already seen it a thousand times before if not at least had worse.......

Remember teamwork makes the dreamwork!

16/06/2026

Hey wildling fam!

We're running a little slower than normal over the next couple of days.

We're somewhat closed today due to illness, and with Brett out fundraising tomorrow morning and again Friday afternoon, replies, pick-ups, and getting back to messages may take us a bit longer than usual.

We're still here, still caring for all the feathered, furry, and occasionally very dramatic residents, but the humans behind the scenes are running on reduced capacity for a couple of days.

As always, if it's an emergency, please let us know and we'll do our best to help. For everything else, we ask for a little patience while we catch up.

Thank you all for the ongoing support. This refuge only works because of the incredible community behind it, and we appreciate every one of you.

Now if you'll excuse us, we're off to juggle fundraising, animal care, and whatever fresh chaos the universe decides to deliver next.

Remember teamwork makes the dreamwork

16/06/2026

Hey wildling fam,

I actually wish I took photos before I started pulling it down so you all could see that Brett made the fatal mistake of telling me I couldn't pull this thing down, and how much of a job it was that I had underestimated myself.....

Now, if you've been here longer than five minutes, you'll know that telling me I can't do something immediately turns it from a casual maintenance job into a personal mission fuelled entirely by spite.

So naturally, it had to die.

I left Brett with the delightful task of cutting all the wire off while I commenced what can only be described as aggressive structural negotiations.

To be fair, it needed to come down. The poor thing lived in a cold, damp corner of the property and was rotted to absolute hell. The timber wasn't so much timber anymore as a moist suggestion of timber. Every time I touched it, bits fell off and I became increasingly convinced it was being held together by mould, spider webs and optimism.

Then, because chickens are absolute psychopaths, they chose THIS moment to start using it.
Months.
MONTHS they ignored it.
Not a single chicken interested.

Then suddenly we're halfway through demolition and there's a queue of them standing inside looking at us like we've bulldozed their ancestral homeland.

"Oh wow, nice. We use this now."

YOU WHAT?

WHERE WAS THIS ENERGY SIX MONTHS AGO?

The audacity of these feathered bastards.

So there I am ripping rotten timber apart, Brett is wrestling wire that's trying to return to its natural state of violence, chickens are lodging formal complaints, and the entire structure is collapsing faster than my patience.

In the end, down it came.
No injuries.
No fatalities.

Except Brett's confidence in telling me I can't pull things down, which suffered catastrophic damage and is not expected to recover.....then he has to live with me on the daily so as if ever he had confidence in the first place.....

Remember teamwork makes the dreamwork!

15/06/2026

Hey wildling fam!

A wee update on the enclosure situation because for once I have some genuinely good news.

We've managed to secure a large enclosure through Afterpay, a smaller enclosure thanks to Puss N Boots, some chicken wire, a small aviary, and we've even had an incredibly kind offer from someone willing to build a couple of small shelters.

The large enclosure was purchased through Afterpay because, wherever possible, we do try to fund as much of this rescue ourselves. We will always do everything we can before asking the community for help. Sometimes that means fundraisers, sometimes it means stretching every dollar until it starts filing complaints, and sometimes it means making friends with Afterpay when rescue decides to collectively lose the plot.

What does all this mean?
Three more spaces.
Two spaces for larger animals and one space for smaller birds.
Three more chances to say yes when the phone rings.
We have a chance to stay open.

But that's not all.

We've also had some absolutely amazing offers come through from people wanting to help. From chicken wire to rabbit hutch, We still need to follow up on a number of them and organise collections, which we'll be doing next week. So if you've reached out and haven't heard back yet, please don't think we've forgotten you. Things have been a little chaotic this end, but we are working our way through everything.

Also guna say it, someone told us the post was too wordy. That people don't read them. That we'd get more support if we wrote less.

Well, you lot proved that spectacularly wrong.
Because you understood exactly what was being said.

You understood that when I was talking about enclosure shortages, I wasn't being dramatic. You understood that when I said we were running out of options, I meant it. You understood that every enclosure, every roll of wire, every shelter and every aviary directly translates into animals being able to receive help.

You didn't need a catchy slogan.
You didn't need a dramatic video.
You just read our novels.

And because you all always read it, animals that haven't even arrived yet now have somewhere to go.

That is one of my favourite things about this page. We can be honest here. We can tell you exactly what's happening, what we're worried about, what we need, and what we're celebrating, and you all understand the bigger picture.

So thank you.
For reading the long posts.
For understanding the reality of rescue.
For the offers, donations, materials, building help and support.

And for helping turn a very stressful situation into three more spaces, with hopefully even more to come once we start doing pick-ups and following up on the incredible offers that have come through next week.
it feels like we're moving forward instead of just desperately trying to stop the boat from sinking.

And that's because of all of you.

This is the wildling fam doing what we all do best...

This is how teamwork makes the dreamwork!

15/06/2026

Hey wildling fam,

Got an update for the call out for enclosures coming, but first,We got a call from the hospital today about a duck with a severe wing injury.

Now, before we talk about the duck, we need to talk about the finder because this poor woman has absolutely been through it.

She spotted this duck and immediately knew something was very wrong. Looking at the injury, she suspected there was every chance this beautiful baby was a PTS case, but she also knew leaving it out there to suffer wasn't an option.

So naturally she decided she was going to catch it.
The duck, despite being held together by approximately one wing, pure rage, and a complete lack of gratitude, chose violence.

In the process she hurt her leg.
She got pooped on.
She still caught the duck.

And then...

The duck took things personally.

Not content with assaulting her outdoors, this feathered menace was taken back to the office where it proceeded to unleash what can only be described as a biological weapon.

It shat in the office.
Not a little s**t,
Not a polite, respectable s**t,

The kind of s**t that immediately has everyone looking around accusing each other of having died somewhere behind a filing cabinet.

The kind of s**t that develops its own atmosphere.

The kind of s**t that makes you question whether ducks are actually powered by evil.

So let's recap.
This woman sees a badly injured animal.

Hurts her leg catching it.
Gets shat on.
Gets the duck secured.
Takes it somewhere safe.

Then gets rewarded by having the entire office transformed into what can only be described as a chemical warfare testing site.

And despite all of that, she still did the right thing.

Because that's what matters here.
She knew this duck was suffering.
She knew the outcome might not be the one anyone wanted.

But she refused to let it sit out there in pain because it was inconvenient or heartbreaking.

That level of compassion is something special.
Rescue isn't saving them all like some tinfoil hero.
it's making sure they don't suffer. it's making sure an animal's final chapter is met with kindness instead of neglect.

And sometimes, apparently, it's being repeatedly assaulted by a duck determined to commit every crime possible before seeing a rescuer.

So thank you.
Thank you for the sore leg.
Thank you for the duck shir on your clothes.
Thank you for the duck s**t in your office.
Thank you for enduring smells that should probably be regulated under international law.
And thank you for caring enough to help a beautiful animal when it needed someone most.

The duck may have chosen chaos.
You chose compassion.
And that's why this duck got the help it needed.

Anyway he was safely transported to the hospital (the wildlife kind) to be helped to end the suffering.
The poor woman on the other hand probably left that interaction thinking she was helping wildlife and wildlife responded with, "Get fu**ed." Yet she still got the job done. That's the kind of human we need more.

Remember teamwork makes the dreamwork!

14/06/2026

Hey wildling fam,

I'm starting to get into genuine crisis mode here.
Every single outdoor enclosure we have for wildlings..... as of this afternoon, currently has an intake in it.

Every. Single. One.

And if we don't secure more outdoor enclosures soon, we are going to hit a point where we simply cannot operate. Not because we don't want to help, but because there will be physically nowhere left to put animals.

This year has been unlike anything we've seen.
On one hand, we're seeing huge numbers of adult wildlife needing care. Birds that normally would have somewhere to go. Animals that should have options available to them. Yet more and more often there is simply nowhere willing or able to take them.

At the same time, the number of dumped and abandoned domestic animals coming through our gates is beyond normal. It feels like every time we make a space, another animal arrives needing it.We're at the point where every rescue creates another problem to solve.

And really, if this is what winter looks like, I have grave fears for what summer is going to bring.

We do have two enclosures that should be becoming free over the next few days. Normally that would be a relief. Instead, all I can think is they'll probably be full again before we've even had a chance to celebrate the empty space, i have geese to rescue in coming days and some more dumped ducks, so both will be full again.

That seems to be the pattern at the moment. An animal leaves, another arrives. Sometimes before we've even finished cleaning the enclosure.

So I'm putting out a desperate call for help.
Do you have a large enclosure sitting unused?

An aviary?
A shed?
A shipping container?
A large run?
Materials we could convert into housing?
Honestly, at this point if it can safely contain an animal, we want to hear about it.
Because im at this point,

If we cannot create more outdoor housing soon, we will have no choice but to shut to new intakes and rescues.
That is not a position we ever wanted to be in, but we are rapidly running out of options.
And I know what some people will be thinking.

"Can't someone else take them?"
Here's the thing.
Most of the time, no.
And we dont use fosters for very good reasons, so we cant just get someone else to pick up that handle.
When a Canada goose needs somewhere to go, there isn't some magical wildlife Airbnb where you can jump online and book a temporary stay.

When a dumped domestic bird turns up, there isn't a waiting list of people with empty enclosures standing by.

When a large waterfowl needs weeks or months of rehabilitation, there isn't a government-funded holiday home ready and waiting.

The reality is that for many of these animals, when we start ringing around, nobody comes.

SPCA? Often outside their jurisdiction.

DOC? Often outside their jurisdiction, actually someone asked if they should ring doc for a native, and I said do it, what come back was no we only work with protected species, over a native species.....

Other rescues? Usually already full themselves.
And then you're left standing there looking at an animal that still needs somewhere safe, warm, fed, and cared for.

Society is generally comfortable helping animals that fit neatly into a box.

But a large goose.
A surrendered duck.
An injured waterfowl.
A bird that needs months of care.
Those don't fit neatly into many boxes.
So they end up here.
And we are happy for them to end up here.

The problem is that goodwill doesn't magically create enclosure space.

Right now we have the animals.
We have the knowledge.
We have the willingness.
What we're running out of is room.

And if this is what winter looks like, I honestly have grave fears for what summer is going to bring.

That "there is no wildlife Airbnb for a Canada goose" line hits pretty hard while still getting across the reality of how few options there actually are.

Please share this far and wide. Someone out there may have exactly what we need sitting unused in a paddock, behind a shed, or slowly being reclaimed by blackberries and questionable life choices.

Right now, more enclosures means more lives saved. And we're running out of room.

This is my last serious plea for help.
Because some of the types of animals we get in we cant just put them in just anywhere, alot we have been able to and thats ok, but we arent about to put a canada goose in a sheep enclosure, a rabbit in a magpie enclosure, a pig in a bloody chickens coup lol

If we are unable to secure additional enclosures or housing options within the next week, obviously not physically here, but organized I am going to have to make the incredibly difficult decision to shut to new intakes for at least a while.

I hate even writing that.

Because every time the phone rings, every time a message comes through, every time someone finds an injured bird, a dumped duck, an abandoned rabbit, a goose that can't fly, or an animal with nowhere else to go, I know what the alternative often looks like.

But that will be the level.

If you know of anything still funtional going for free, I say free because we just dont even have the donations to buy anything we are in crisis and need it desperately.

14/06/2026

Hey wildling fam,

We were sent out to try and catch these geese who while being dumped, were living their best at a lake two have foot injuries and so we went to grab them, but I will talk about that later.......

Can we please talk about bread.
Not because I'm anti-bread.
I love bread.
The swans love bread.
The ducks love bread.
The problem is everybody loves bread a little too much.

Today I found two swans wandering around with giant globs of bread hanging out of their mouths. Not little pieces. Not crumbs. Entire fist-sized chunks looking like they'd just knocked over a bakery and made a run for it.

Now here's the issue.
That bread isn't staying on land.

They're taking it straight to the water where bits break off, sink, rot, and turn the pond into a bacterial all-you-can-eat buffet.

And one of the lovely prizes available from that buffet is botulism.

Botulism is nasty stuff. Paralysis, suffering, and death. It's one of those things we see far too much of and one of those things that is often entirely preventable.

As I'm standing there contemplating how two birds managed to obtain enough bread to qualify as independent bakery owners, one of the swans stops.

Looks directly at me.
Makes eye contact.

Judges me.
Not a casual glance either.

A full "you smell weird and your fence posts aren't straight" level judgement.

Then it turns around and keeps marching off with its giant bread lump like I'm the idiot in this situation.

Mate.

You're carrying a kilogram of decomposing carbohydrates toward a pond.
You are not the intellectual heavyweight in this conversation.

The confidence though?
Unmatched.
The audacity?
Spectacular.
The self-awareness?
Missing, presumed dead.

So if you're feeding waterfowl, please skip the bread. Peas, corn, leafy greens, proper waterfowl feed, all much better options.

Because while these swans were absolutely beautiful, they were also one poor life choice away from becoming travelling salesmen for bacterial soup.

Anyway, I got judged by a swan today.
0/10 experience.
Absolutely will happen again.

Anyway please dont use bread, heaps of other things you can use that is 100% better than bakery foods.

Remember teamwork makes the dreamwork!

Lil Quacks Refuge.

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