09/01/2026
**BEFORE I KNEW I WAS CHOSEN**
There is something about being called by GOD that I did not understand until much later in my life.
What many people do not understand is that the spiritual realm recognizes what you may not yet know about yourself, long before you do.
Before I knew I was chosen.
Before I knew I was called.
Before I understood anything about prophetic ministry or spiritual warfare…
**I was already experiencing things I could not explain.**
Before I came to CHRIST, I endured an unusual amount of suffering, abuse, rejection, abandonment, turmoil, and what I can only describe as some very “weird” circumstances. Things unexplainable.
There were people who disliked me for no apparent reason. Then there were others who were drawn to me like a magnet. They would tell me things without me asking. They would open up about their deepest pain without me probing.
I would somehow know things about people that they had never disclosed to me.
There were occasions when I talked someone out of su***de. I would come upon an accident or a crisis, or somehow find myself in situations where people needed help—and I was often sought out when a crisis would arise—“go get Sue”.
I didn't understand any of it. I was experiencing to polar opposites at the same time all throughout my life, starting at a very young age.
I only knew that, just as much as I was loved by some, **I was intensely hated by others.**
And because of what I had experienced in my childhood, I interpreted much of it through a wounded identity.
I never felt valued.
I never felt wanted.
I carried rejection and abandonment.
The betrayal began at a very young age, and because of it, trust became extremely difficult for me.
**The wound of not feeling valued was one of the deepest wounds I carried.**
But something began happening around the age of 9 or 10. An increase in the prophetic.
I started having dreams that would later happen. I would know things I could not explain how I knew. I began recognizing patterns that frightened me.
I also began to notice that when someone intentionally did something malicious toward me, there were sometimes serious consequences that followed in their own lives.
Let me make this absolutely clear:
**I was not cursing anyone.
I was not practicing witchcraft.
I was not “putting something” on people.
I did not understand what I was witnessing.** But I very clearly saw it.
Some of my friends would jokingly tell me I was psychic because they could see that I seemed to have a “knowing about things.” When I said things, it always got exposed. Things I said, would come to pass.
And I would always tell them:
**“I am not psychic.”**
But I knew there was something I could not explain.
Over the years, I witnessed circumstances involving people who had intentionally harmed or betrayed me—health crises, financial devastation, profound losses, and in some cases, even death. Some of them even permanently marked with life long deficit.
I will not go into the details here.
However, Those things did not make me happy.
**They terrified me.**
I remember feeling broken when terrible things happened to people. Somehow, I knew there was a connection to what had happened between us, but I didn't understand it.
I even wondered if somehow **I was cursed.**
I didn't yet understand that there was a spiritual dimension to my life that I had not been taught to recognize.
I struggled for years, trying to reconcile the two polar dimensions that I was living in. The darkness that was assigned to influence and take me out, yet also knowing I had this deep knowing to stand against it. I learned the hard way that I didn’t belong in darkness. I was set apart for GOD.
There were battles I now understand as spiritual warfare—battles against things that wanted to destroy me, distort my identity, keep me bound in fear, and prevent me from ever discovering who I really was.
Then I surrendered my life to CHRIST.
And that is when things drastically began to change.
**THE LORD began revealing my identity to me.**
The very place where I had been most wounded—my value—became one of the very places where HE began to reveal the truth of who I am to HIM..
HE began showing me:
**“You were MINE before you knew you were MINE.”**
HE revealed to me the truth that the things that happened to those who were malicious towards me—that was HIS doing, because HE is HOLY and HIS WORD is truth. Touch not my Anointed and do my Prophet no harm.
I then understood that even before I knew who I was, GOD KNEW ME. It made me to fear GOD and to pray for those who hurt me.
I began to understand that there was a distinction between who I thought I was because of what people had done to me and who GOD had created me to be.
I began to understand that some of the things I experienced before I knew CHRIST were not evidence that something was wrong with me.
Some of them were evidence that there was something about my life that I had not yet understood and the enemy tried to destroy me. It is only by the grace of GOD, I have survived some things. ONLY GOD
And I began learning that what the enemy wants most is to distort your identity.
Because if he can convince you that you are worthless, unwanted, crazy, cursed, insignificant, or disqualified…
**he can keep you from discovering who GOD says you are.**
The enemy does not want you to know your identity.
Because identity gives you position.
And position gives you AUTHORITY.
There are people who will oppose what they do not understand. There are people who will allow themselves to be used against someone without realizing the spiritual consequences of their actions.
But I don't celebrate when people suffer.
**I pray for them.**
Because I know what it is like to be deceived.
I know what it is like to be wounded.
I know what it is like to operate without understanding what is really happening spiritually.
And I would much rather see someone repent, be restored, and come out of darkness than see them destroyed.
I have learned that vengeance belongs to GOD, and I have seen it play out time and time again.
My responsibility is not to curse my enemies.
My responsibility is to **walk with GOD, remain obedient, keep my heart clean, and let HIM contend with what concerns me.**
There are things I experienced as a child that I could not explain.
There are things I witnessed that frightened me.
There are things I didn't understand until I encountered CHRIST.
And now I can look back and say:
**I wasn't crazy.
I wasn't cursed.
I wasn't imagining everything.
I simply did not yet understand who I was.**
Before I knew I was chosen…
**GOD already knew.**
Before I knew I was called…
**HE already knew.**
Before I understood my identity…
**HE already knew whose I was.**
And perhaps that is one of the greatest revelations of my life:
**I was HIS before I ever knew I belonged to HIM.**
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart…”
— Jeremiah 1:5