06/11/2025
Pay attention to the first person your child is disrespectful to. It is almost always the person in the home they feel the safest with.
They save their sharpest words, their loudest protests, for the parent who has always shown them unconditional love. It feels like a betrayal.
Let's call it what it really is.
This is not a sign that they love you less. It is a sign that they trust your love completely.
They know they can show you their ugliest parts, their biggest feelings, their worst behavior, and you will not abandon them.
This is how they test the absolute boundaries of your love.
They are asking, in their clumsy, painful way, "Are you strong enough to handle all of me?
Will your love hold even when I am at my worst?"
So, address the disrespect firmly, yes.
Hold the boundary.
But also recognize the profound compliment underneath it. They are only their worst self with the person whose love they trust the most.
