13/08/2026
REFRAMING AWKWARDNESS: The Story of Kaka at Lifesong Kenya
We often meet boys at our Halfway House whose behaviors challenge our patience at Lifesong Kenya. Kaka (not his real name) was one such boy. He was extremely slow and awkward in everything he did.
He was consistently slow in doing house chores and was always the last to finish tasks. This stretched further to his academic performance where Kaka appeared clumsy and distracted to impatient eyes.
At first, we thought that Kaka's awkwardness was a deliberate act to avoid taking responsibility and initiative. Our conventional response was be to push him harder, shout louder and compare him with other boys who seemed to be getting it.
Then, we decided to choose differently.
We stopped shouting and instead, we started watching. What we discovered was not laziness or incompetence, but careful deliberation. Kaka is a wonderful boy who thrives in planning his every move. This enabled us to see that Kaka is intentional about every action and move that he makes.
Reframing Process and Impact
In the end, we discovered that his slowness is not a deficit but an incredible resource and superpower that helps him to do chores and tasks well. All he needs is time. The other thing we discovered was that he had a condition, as a result of exploitation, violence and abuse, that needed surgery and medication care. All these happened because we chose to reframe Kaka's troubles that brought him to our Halfway House.
We gave him responsibility for our cats, dogs, tomatoes, vegetables and other plants at our kitchen garden. Under his care, things and animals are thriving. Kaka knows when our cat and dogs are happy, sad or need a pat on the back. Where others see awkwardness, we see a remarkable young man who has the capacity to nurture deeply because he never rushes the careful processes that other people miss when they only focus on his clumsiness.
Kaka's story illustrates a Co-Active coaching and leadership principle we are applying across our programs. The same traits that appear problematic in one context often become strengths in another. The key is co-creating the right environment for where strength, creativity and resourcefulness emerges and thrives to enrich relationships.
About Lifesong Kenya
At Lifesong Kenya, we provide housing, counseling, Co-Active Coaching, educational support, skills training and outdoor experiences to turn the lives of vulnerable boys around. Our Halfway House is currently prodiving shelter to 10 boys. During their stay, the boys receive support through shelter, meals, education, skills training, cycling and playing football.
If your organization serves at-risk youth, we welcome a conversation about reframing trauma and using strength-based approaches to provide healing and restoration to vulnerable children and youth.
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