24/08/2024
I was waiting for his video to be seen on the critical issue of s*xual violence on women, in the wake of the Kolkata r**e case. And finally saw his latest episode that holistically covers the issue. The way he has debunked, like no one I have come across as a male advocate, the misinformation/ beliefs and regressive attitudes by a major section of media-persons and Men in Power…his emphatic assertion that a woman in India seen as either devi (on a pedestal), or as a daasi , a subhuman or a s*x object but never as an independent human being with her own likes, dislikes and the right to say ‘No’….. the critical point that we should stop seeing the perpetrators of violence on women as ‘mentally ill’ but rather as key constituents of r**e culture, toxic masculine culture….
Kudos to Dhruv Rathee for being among the few protagonists and handful of Men who assert the above..
I would have felt better watching Dhruv’s episode if he would have specifically appealed to Men and Boys, and not general society to be ‘part of the solution’. And I wish and hope in his forthcoming episodes, he will realize what I am saying and will not mince words in calling all concerned, sensitive Men and Boys, from different walks of life – that is sorely missing at the macro level.
For years, women’s groups and all who have been part of women’s liberation movement have fought and given a blow from outside to the structures of patriarchy and notions of masculinity behind the normalization of s*xual violence and r**e culture which Dhruv has talked about. It is critical that Men give blow to the patriarchal structures from inside, and be a significant part (not just an ally but stakeholder as their lives are also at stake) of the movement for a society, where women do not live in fear.
This certainly is a tall order. As I have said it at other platforms, it is vital for men’s (cis and heteros*xual specifically) involvement to see them as a ‘part of the problem’ before they see themselves as part of the solution. The harsh reality is that a major section of Men (includes a large number of young men and adolescent boys) in society are in the slumber and need to be awakened, conscientized to the above. The remaining section of Men are in a denial mode, they are quite aware about the roots of the gender problem, but will never address it as they do not want to lose the ‘patriarchal dividend’ as referred by Raewyn Connell. There is no dearth of such men in various positions of society, who will espouse the cause of women’s empowerment but will dare talk about involvement of men as individual men taking specific stands for women in their lives.
Needless to say, for the men to be awakened to happen, all concerned and disturbed women and non-binary individuals have a supportive role to engage cis and heteros*xual men in regular, ongoing conversations around gender….Start the conversations with 2 men in your lives and be the change you want to see in society…..
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