The Men’s Circle

21/05/2025

05/03/2025

Mindfulness practice and inner work can significantly transform a father’s experience, benefiting both himself and his children. First, practicing mindfulness helps us manage stress and anxiety, allowing us to navigate parenting challenges more effectively. When we maintain a calm and centered demeanor, it creates a peaceful environment for our children, positively impacting their emotional well-being.

Second, mindfulness enhances our emotional regulation. It fosters self-awareness, helping us respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively. This clear communication and emotional stability set a great example for our kids, teaching them how to handle their own emotions effectively.

Third, being mindful allows us to connect deeply with our children. When we’re fully present, we can engage with them authentically, which strengthens our parent-child bond and fosters empathy and understanding. This connection creates lasting memories that both we and our children cherish.

Lastly, by modeling mindfulness and doing inner work, we teach our children valuable life skills like self-care, resilience, and coping mechanisms. This equips them to face their own challenges in the future, making our focus on mindfulness a win-win for everyone involved.

03/03/2025

Committing to Your New Identity

Fatherhood is a transformative journey, often filled with struggles. Here’s how I can help you overcome common challenges:

Identity Crisis
You may feel a loss of your pre-fatherhood identity. That’s normal. I can guide you through reflective exercises to help you redefine who you are.

Balancing Responsibilities
Balancing work, personal interests, and family can be overwhelming. I offer time management strategies and self-care tips to ensure you make time for yourself while being present for your family.

Emotional Turmoil
It’s common to experience grief and resentment with new responsibilities. I can help you navigate these feelings through support resources that allow you to share and heal.

Fear of Not Being Enough
You might worry about not being good enough or financially secure. I can assist you in building self-confidence through workshops and coaching, helping you recognize your strengths.

Lack of Support
If you feel isolated, seek community resources like groups, coaching, counselling, or therapy. I can connect you with others in similar situations for support either the mens circle I hold, 1-2-1 sessions or further support.

By tackling these issues, you can embrace your new identity with confidence. I’m here to provide the support and resources you need.
Dm me”change” to begin.

27/02/2025

Becoming a father is a transformative experience, yet it often comes with significant grief and loss. Many fathers find themselves mourning their pre-fatherhood identity, feeling the weight of lost freedom and sometimes even developing resentment towards their new responsibilities. It’s a complex emotional landscape, where the excitement of welcoming a child can be overshadowed by the longing for the life that once was.

1. Give Space for Your Grief: Acknowledge that it’s okay to feel a sense of loss. Allow yourself the time and space to process these emotions without judgment.

2. Write a Letter to Your Pre-Fatherhood Self: Take a moment to reflect and write a heartfelt letter to your former self. Acknowledge the aspects of your identity that you feel are slipping away. By expressing these feelings, you validate your experience and begin to make peace with the changes.

3. Write a Letter to Your Child (not to give them but to express yourself) In this letter, explain the grief you are experiencing. Share your feelings honestly, allowing your child to understand the complexity of emotions that accompany parenthood. This can foster a deeper connection and understanding in the future.

4. Claim Your New Identity: As you navigate these changes, take time to define who you want to be as a father. Embrace the qualities you admire in role models and think about the legacy you want to build in your new role.

The journey into fatherhood is not about erasing your former self but about integrating it into a broader identity. By allowing room for grief and actively engaging with these feelings, you can emerge with a richer understanding of yourself and your role as a father, shaping a new identity that honors both your past and your present.

Embrace the journey; it’s a beautiful, messy transition into becoming the person you aspire to be.

25/02/2025

What You See
The small wins that are shared, the time spent with family, the time committed to my own journey and growth, the beautiful videos and photos that are a moment of parenting.

What It Took to Get Here
The identity shift— moving from “I” to “we,” which often led to feelings of uncertainty.
There were moments of doubt: not feeling like I had achieved my aspirations, grappling with being unprepared, and the nagging thought of not being good enough.
Financial insecurity loomed large whilst renovating a flat and running a coffee shop as well as teaching classing and 1-2-1’s, and it felt like others were thriving while I was just trying to keep my head above water.

The turning point came with the acceptance of failure and embracing imperfection, I am enough as I am. Acceptance of self in the moment, and I can learn, change, grow. I learned that growth takes time, and it’s essential to carve out moments for self-care and the activities that bring joy. Uncomfortable conversations and being called forward when I’m not showing up the way I wanted too.
I sought out role models, individuals who inspired me to envision who I wanted to become. I let go of the version I used to be to embrace who I wanted to become.
This journey was about more than just personal success; it was about forging connections, redefining priorities, and understanding that the path to fulfillment is a continuous process.
In summary, you only see the picture in the moment and allow jealousy/self doubt to creep in, ask about the back story and see the struggles someone goes through to get to where they are and you’ll realise you are no different and if your reading this you are on the right path.

Dm “change” to find out what tools I used.

20/02/2025

Feel like you never have time in the morning? You’re sacrificing so much more than you realize. Rushing out the door without a moment for your kids and eating breakfast on the go only adds to your stress before the day even starts.

By embracing this chaotic routine, you’re missing out on those precious moments of joy. Just getting up 10 minutes earlier can make a world of difference. Use that time to breathe, calm your mind, and shower your loved ones with affection. It shows them they are important, gives you time to feel and process any feelings around your suppressing around your day.

Did you know that writing a gratitude list ONCE a month can boost your happiness by 25%? Now, imagine the transformative power of expressing gratitude each morning! Picture how calm and connected you would feel by allowing yourself a moment to breathe and appreciate what truly matters.

This small shift can deepen your bonds with your loved ones and help you approach your day from a more grounded and centred space.

Dm “change” to find out how I can help.

20/02/2025

How do you balance being a dad, a business, a relationship and still prioritize yourself…

The truth is you don’t, balance doesn’t exist. It gives the impression that you can create harmony throughout all areas of your life simultaneously.

You can’t and it’s time you change the way you’re looking at things. Think of it as spinning plates, the moment you focus on one another starts to slow down and wobble, this like life happens constantly but because your trying to create balance you beat yourself up when something starts to slip.

If your focusing on your career then know that there’s going to be times when you prioritize work over something else, same as if your focused on being home more with the family you can’t be at work all the time.

Acknowledging this and accepting your current situation means you can do something about it. You can now have the conversation with your partner as to why you are staying late at work but also how can you make time elsewhere to prioritize them, Or you can look at your working hours and start to organize and plan so you have more time at home.

In doing this you will find yourself spending more time in the present moment because you accept that this is your decision not that you have no control.

18/02/2025

The outcome was feeling frustrated with myself, beating myself up for not achieving enough and telling myself I’m not good enough when I don’t achieve what was on the to do list.
I would find myself in my head thinking of all the things I still needed to do whilst with my family and at work feeling guilty I’m not with them.

The real problem was “expectation” leading to pressure, leading to negative self talk.

Consistency looks different everyday, in accepting I will be different everyday it allowed me to show up with compassion for myself, with that as my base I can find compassion for others, I don’t get frustrated with other peoples mistakes because I see them in myself.

Consistency looks like doing your best each day, only you know when you have given it your best shot and what your best shot looks like that day.

When you set your to do list be realistic, are the things you are writing setting to high expectations? If so you won’t meet your target and fall back into the spiral of not doing enough, not being good enough.

Set time aside for when you write your todo list that it’s achievable that day, if it isn’t adjust it. If you’re not honest with yourself in regards to your expectations and what you can actually achieve you will always fall short keeping you in a spiral of always feeling not good enough.

Dm “change” to learn how to let go of the unnecessary pressure.

16/02/2025

My mindset towards responsibility needed to change.

Just before bo was born I cut my hair (for those that knew me before short hair it used to be really long), it felt right. What was actually playing out was me preparing to accept the responsibility to come.

During that period I stopped handstand practice, my training become very basic and my focus on my career changed. I was preparing to step into protector/provider, letting go of a version of myself that was more carefree and shied away from responsibilities, who only thought of himself and his wants.

It was an uncomfortable shift that I didn’t realise was playing out until I reflected on responsibility and the way it shows up as we grow up.

As a boy your parents are responsible for you, you don’t make decisions your parents tell you what to and not to do whilst you learn.
As a teenager you begin to take responsibility for yourself as you realise your consequences have actions.
As a young man you date and realise your actions have a larger impact on those around you.
As an adult you feel the pressure of commitment to another, to a property, to a career.
Then as a parent the responsibility for a life outside of your own.

It’s like there are levels to responsibility, which come with the stages of life.

If we don’t acknowledge these levels and take action to accept the responsibility given to us it is very easy to blame “life” for our stresses and the way life turned out falling into victim mentality.

In acknowledging these phases and accepting your part in it you are taking accountability for your role in the life you created, but with that comes the power to change what you do not like.

Acceptance, accountability, action.

Move out of the victim mindset to see that you are the one capable of changing everything that brings you discomfort.

11/02/2025

This past month I’ve learnt three big lessons…

1) taking action is always going to be difficult if you don’t have clarity around the action you need to take. Sounds obvious but this is one of the biggest things I have with clients is they know what they want life to look like but what are the steps to get there.

2) a decision from an unregulated nervous system is always coming from a place of how can I feel safe in this moment. All be it an unconscious pattern playing out often times you’re not aware it’s happening but it will take you away from the long term success you really strive for.

3) There is no better feeling than being present with your family and witnessing the love held within a family unit. I am grateful for all the lessons and teachings I have recieved that have drilled into me the importance of presence. As men we have been taught that work is THE most important thing because providing is what shows our family we loved them… not true, our presence is what shows them, our time energy and focus shows them that they are important.

So to summarize this month, taking time to regulate my nervous system and move from a grounded state allows me to be present with my family and create clarity and direction on moving forward to create an beautiful life.

27/01/2025

How much it really cost to create self worth, feel confident, self led and purposeful.

It isn’t money… it’s time, you can spend money on things like the gym, courses, books etc but it could be done for free if money is a restriction.

It cost time because it’s a commitment, that is why most people struggle to achieve there dreams, because they don’t commit like they know they need to or they don’t know how much commitment is required to begin.

It’s a life style not a crash course diet/fad.

It requires you to show up daily, weekly, monthly, year round. You don’t stop, you reach a milestone, and continue.
That’s not to say you become fixated on milestones but with the mentality of continuous evolution you find love in the journey not the destination.

Every day is a good day because you show up for yourself and you know that what you’re doing is for a higher purpose.

What does it cost… the version of yourself you’re comfortable with.

What do you get in return the version of yourself you’ve always dreamed of being.