Daisy, Daisy, Grief Cafe

17/06/2026

The other day someone asked me why our grief support group is named "Daisy, Daisy, Grief Cafe". When we first launched the group we made a video showing how the logo of two daisies chatting came about, but as many of you may not know about the original design of the logo, I thought I'd share it again:

Daryl had shared this on the "Daisy, Daisy - The Tandem Restoration Project" page, the tandem having played a big part in getting the word out, especially at our launch in Hall Leys Park in the centre of Matlock, on May 11th, 2024.

There's probably more to explain, like why daisies anyway, but that may be for another day 😄

05/06/2026

Here is "Afterglow" that inspired our focus for the circle time next Tuesday. I hope this helps you, even if it only brings a glimmer of comfort.

I have been asked why I named this page The Afterglow. It was inspired by this poem I found after my mom passed. She cut it out of a magazine. I can imagine her saying it to us. 🧡

05/06/2026

Hello,

Just a reminder that we meet again next Tuesday, 8th June, at 1:30 pm - 3:00 pm, at All Saints' Church Hall.

We start with a drink, a biscuit and a chat before having a circle time, with an opportunity to join in, or just listen if you'd prefer.

This time our focus will be:

to share happy memories left by our loved one, that despite the tears we cry, still bring some warmth and comfort to us.

This is inspired by poem "Afterglow" shared from another grief page in memory of a mother.

To find out more about our group you can ring me on 07726 465229 or email me, [email protected].

See you soon,
Yvonne.

Accredited Counsellor and Grief Coach
Daisy Vision Counselling.

25/05/2026

Hello everyone,

Just a reminder that we meet again tomorrow, Tuesday 26th May at 1:30 pm - 3:00 pm. I hire All Saints' Church Hall which is a great venue because it has good accessibility and a car park (the hall is set back from the road with the car park in front and is next to All Saints' Church on Smedley Street).

We meet for a drink and biscuit and then have a circle time. This week’s subject was suggested by someone who felt it would help them and perhaps others in the group who with their grief.

Our focus will be:

Do you try to protect the other person when asked “How are you?”.
Many of us do this by saying “I’m fine”, even when we’re anything but. Other times, the feelings come out in a rush and we say far more than we intended. Is this because we just need to get it out, and sometimes can’t control or tailor our reaction or is it because we feel safer to go there with the person asking and we see them as being able to cope with our response?
In these moments, how can we be kind and supportive to ourselves?
There are no set rules with grief, and everyone’s response within the group is valued. It is a safe place to share our experiences without judgment. Our group is very welcoming and supportive, and those that share find it really helpful to do so. However, if you’d prefer to just listen everyone understands.

If you’d like to know more, you can ring or email me,
Best wishes,
Yvonne.

Accredited counsellor and Grief Coach
Daisy Vision Counselling
Tel: 07726 465229
Email: [email protected]

22/05/2026

Hello everyone,

Just a reminder that we meet again on Tuesday 22nd May at 1:30 pm - 3:00 pm. I hire All Saints' Church Hall which is a great venue because it has good accessibility and a car park (the hall is set back from the road with the car park in front and is next to All Saints' Church on Smedley Street).

We meet for a drink and biscuit and then have a circle time. This week’s subject was suggested by someone who felt it would help them and perhaps others in the group who with their grief.

This is our focus:

Do you try to protect the other person when asked “How are you?”.
Many of us do this by saying “I’m fine”, even when we’re anything but. Other times, the feelings come out in a rush and we say far more than we intended. Is this because we just need to get it out, and sometimes can’t control or tailor our reaction or is it because we feel safer to go there with the person asking and we see them as being able to cope with our response?

In these moments, how can we be kind and supportive to ourselves?

There are no set rules with grief, and everyone’s response within the group is valued. It is a safe place to share our experiences without judgment. Our group is very welcoming and supportive, and those that share find it really helpful to do so. However, if you’d prefer to just listen everyone understands.

If you’d like to know more, you can ring or email me.

Best wishes,
Yvonne.

Accredited Counsellor and Grief Coach
Daisy Vision Counselling
Tel: 07726 465229
Email: [email protected]

07/05/2026

Hello everyone,

Just a reminder that we meet again on Tuesday 12th May at 1:30 pm - 3:00 pm. I hire All Saints' Church Hall which is a great venue because it has good accessibility and a car park (the hall is set back from the road with the car park in front and is next to All Saints' Church on Smedley Street).

We meet for a drink and biscuit and then have a circle time and this week the focus will be 'anticipatory grief', which is made-up of a whole range of emotions we can experience when someone we love is dying. (You can read a couple of recent posts that link to this subject on this page to find out more).

You may have experienced grief for a long time as you're loved one declined, but on other hand you may have experienced the trauma of a sudden loss. This can then cause us to have a fear of death, or it can have a positive affect on us, causing us to make every day we do have, count.

Although there is opportunity for everyone to share, there's no pressure and it's also fine just to listen.

Whatever your experience, you're participation is valued and there is an amazing sense of mutual support within the group. You'll be made very welcome if you're thinking of coming for the first time.

Hope to see you soon,
Yvonne.

Accredited counsellor and Grief Coach
Daisy Vision Counselling

Tel: 07726 465229
Email: [email protected]

06/05/2026

Don't struggle alone with your grief - there are safe spaces to help you heal.

Our conversations about dying are really conversations about finding a way to come to terms with an anticipated loss, or the pain of accepting what has already happened, and learning how to continue living without our loved one.

Coping with anticipatory grief can be an incredibly lonely place to be. We’re often expected to discuss our loved one’s care, make difficult decisions, and advocate for their physical needs — all while carrying the immense emotional strain of watching someone decline. The impact on our own physical and mental wellbeing is rarely acknowledged.

Having been there personally several times now, I understand just how overwhelming this can be. As a grief counsellor and coach, I also see how often people feel they must “fight through” the decline of a loved one while feeling abandoned, bewildered, and desperate for someone to show compassion to them too. Someone to off load to. Someone who sees the toll it takes.

It’s common to feel torn — wanting a way out of the situation, yet dreading the reality of what lies ahead. Many people bottle these feelings up and slip into survival mode, but it is so much healthier when we can talk about it and receive support.

To this end, we’ll be exploring anticipatory grief this week at our grief support group, Daisy, Daisy Grief Café here in Matlock. Even if we are now trying to cope with life after our loss, many of us still struggle with the emotions connected to that time before our loved one died — guilt, anger, blame, regret. These feelings are more common than people realise, and they deserve space, understanding, and gentleness.

I encourage you — whether you’re in that painful place of caring for a loved one as they decline, or whether you’re still feeling the impact of what you went through, no matter how long ago — to find someone you can talk to. You might find support by joining us at Daisy, Daisy Grief Café. Sharing our experiences with others who truly understand, because they're experiencing it too, can make such a difference.

I’ve had so many people tell me how much the grief café helped them, even when they weren’t sure it would. Sometimes simply being alongside others who “get it” is the first step toward feeling less alone.

If you would like to find out more:
phone me on 07726 465229 or email: [email protected]

www.daisyvision.co.uk

05/05/2026

It can help to understand our grief, and that there is no right or wrong way to express our emotions and no right time scale.

As Dying Matters Week (4th -10th May) draws our attention to the importance of talking and sharing our journey with others, I feel it may help to revisit something many people have heard of, but few fully understand: Elisabeth Kübler Ross’s “stages of grief” found in her book "On Death and Dying".

She developed them while working with people who were dying of terminal illness — and with the loved ones witnessing that decline.

Her work was based on anticipatory grief, not in grief after loss, as she observed common emotional responses, of those dying and their loved ones and summed them up as :

Denial - and difficulty in accepting the reality of their loss,
Anger - something that many don't realise is a common reaction to loss especially when overwhelming sadness is bottled up, Bargaining - with others or even God or an authority in one's life, Depression - which may develop in time particularly if grief is not addressed,
Acceptance - not liking the outcome but the inner realisation of the need to find a way to cope with your loss, and your own life which continues.

Kubler-Ross never intended that these expressions of grief should be seen as linear stages, but acknowledged there's no right or wrong way to grieve (according to her co-author in "On Grief and Grieving" David Kessler). Instead these responses can present in waves, in any order, and at any time, before and after the end of life.

So, whatever emotions your experiencing right now, I want to encourage you that it's okay to be in that place, and there's no time scale or set order. But, at the same time it may help to talk to someone about it. You don't have to cope alone.

I hope this helps you,
Yvonne.

tel: 07726 465229
email: [email protected]

28/04/2026

If you're feeling the pain of grief before losing your loved one, or struggling with the pian of your last days with your loved one, this may help you.

When grief comes before your loss

Anticipatory grief is something many people experience long before a death occurs, yet it’s rarely spoken about.

Our grief often begins when someone we love starts to decline, and it can remain with us long after they have gone. It’s the accumulation of emotions we feel when a parent who was once strong, supportive, and dependable becomes frail, confused, or unable to be the person they once were for us. Even as adults, that shift can feel deeply unsettling. Roles begin to reverse, and we find ourselves making decisions on behalf of someone who once guided us.

Over the years, in my work as a grief counsellor, I’ve sat with many people who felt guilty for the emotions that surfaced during this time: sadness, frustration, fear, anger, and a sense of loss before the loss. These feelings are far more common than people realise, and they are not a sign of failing or not caring enough. They are a natural response to witnessing someone you love suffer and become weaker.

I understand this both professionally and personally. In my own family, I’ve walked through anticipatory grief more than once — noticing the small losses that gradually become more devastating, and the quiet heartbreak of realising there is only one direction the situation can go.

Whether this period lasts weeks or stretches into years, many people find themselves living in a kind of survival mode. Everything seems to depend on staying strong: supporting others, making rational decisions, and ensuring the best care for a loved one who can no longer manage daily life. In order to keep going, we often suppress our own emotions and struggles, sometimes to the point of affecting our physical health.

It’s also more common than people admit to feel as though you can’t keep going like this forever — even to long for the situation to reach its natural end, despite the pain you know that will bring. This can create a deep sense of guilt, both at the time and long after a loved one has died.

If you’re feeling the weight of anticipatory grief now, please know there is nothing “wrong” with your emotions. You are grieving the loss of how things used to be, the loss of the relationship as it once was, and the loss of the future you hoped for. That grief is valid. It deserves space and gentleness.

You may also recognise that you went through this before your loved one died and are still carrying the emotional impact of that time. However long you’ve been feeling it, please be kind to yourself. The emotions associated with anticipatory grief are natural when we’re doing our best under enormous pressure, often while feeling exhausted.

I hope this is helpful to someone here. If you relate to any of this, I encourage you to talk with someone who will listen and understand — perhaps a trusted friend who has always been there for you. It can feel daunting at first, but finding a safe way to revisit your grief can support healing and improve your overall wellbeing.

Best wishes,
Yvonne.

Tel: 07726 465229
email: [email protected]
www.daisyvision.co.uk

24/04/2026

Hello everyone,

Just a reminder that we meet next Tuesday 28th April at 1:30 pm - 3:00 pm at All Saints' Church Hall , Smedley Street. It's next to the Church and is set back from the road, with it's own car park in front, on Smedley Street.

We start with a cuppa and a chat and then have a 'circle time' giving opportunity to either join in and share from your experience of loss and grieving, or you're welcome to sit and listen if you don't feel able to participate.

This week our focus is,:

What is your way of coping with grief?

For some it may be music, for some writing, or art, walking and spending time surrounded by nature. It may create an escape or a safe expression of the emotions associate with loss.

The circle time is a very precious time, and what is shared is kept within the group, and within this safe space. I've had so much positive feedback about how it has really helped people to be able to talk about their loved one, with others that understand, that care and are supportive.

If you would like to find out more you can ring me on 07726 465229 or email me [email protected].

Best wishes,
Yvonne
(Accredited Counsellor and Grief Coach)

(If you feel it a group setting is not for you but you still would like support, one-to-one, but have no experience of counselling or what to expect, I'd be happy to talk to you about it or you can see my website: www.daisyvision.co.uk to find out more).