14/06/2026
Last Wednesday, we looked at the subject of "people pleasing" one of 10 mindsets which can sometimes "sabotage us".
Of course, it is lovely and positive to show genuine kindness, concern and care for others. To be helpful, even to go out of our way to be so. And we feel good for doing so.
The issue comes when we offer help, or act in a certain way, simply to be liked, valued or included. When we just want to make a good impression. When we don't want anyone thinking badly of us.
So we say "yes" because we can't bring ourselves to say "no". Then it becomes more about us - protecting what people think of us - rather than genuinely helping others. We are more focussed on pleasing - or at least not displeasing - rather than being helpful or kind.
When this is our common pattern of behaviour, it can exhaust us. And it can build resentment - " I'm doing all these things for you and others, who is looking after me?".
We also know that we "cannot please all of the people all of the time". So it's never going to satisfy us.
Also, people will eventually pick up on the fact that we are seeking primarily to be liked, and hiding our real thoughts. People will start to mistrust us, or take advantage of us.
We shall be exploring this further next time. If you recognise any of this in your own life, you may wish to come along.
We will be thinking about how we can draw boundaries and learn to say "no".
