06/07/2026
I haven't made any updates in over 2 weeks so this is going to be a long one. Sorry in advance. It's also the most honest and raw post I've written. I hope we don't lose too many followers because of it, but after this one, we'll get back to the usual happy ones with some from our rising star, Rakan too.
I wanted to explain why it's been over two weeks since we've posted anything, talk a bit about what's been going on, and also share the first bit of hopeful news we've had in a very long time.
The last couple of weeks have honestly been some of the hardest of my life. I've always tried to keep posts positive because I don't want my page to become a place that's only filled with sadness, I don't like to be pitied, and I just guess I like to keep my real struggles private and I loathe complaining - to be the one to complain or listening to people complaining. Life is filled with so many blessings but there are just so many who fixate on anything negative. It's a shame because we are all surrounded by beauty, things, animals and people to be greatful for. So if you've seen photos of me smiling during treatment, those smiles were real, but they were also just tiny moments during some incredibly difficult days.
What you don't see are the days where I can barely drag myself out of bed for the 12th time to kneel over the toilet, where even looking at my phone screen hurts because one of my side effects for one of the treatment medicatios are headaches and another side effect from a different one is full hair loss so I don't have any eyelashes left. This means that sunlight hurts, room lights hurt as well as screen light. And we have this ugly looking gravel in the front that's very fine so when the dogs run around (which is all the time) or when there's a gust of wind (and we are located in a valley so again, it's all the time), dust swirls around in the air which gets in my eyes that don't have the protection that eyelashes give, and I breathe it in which with my current immunocompromised body is very dangerous. My eyebrows are holding on but my nose hairs are gone. I didn't know they hold up snot 😆 My nose is CONSTANTLY dribbling. I feel like a toddler unable to control My nose running. My face and gums sometimes swell so much too. Another side effect but honestly, I look like a baby with a smooth bald head and chubby cheeks, I found it kinda cute. But on the downside, I sometimes wake up with bl••d on my clothes and pillow from gum bleeds and drooling or nosebleeds, another glamorous side effect of treatment that nobody really talks about.
I described how this course of treatment feels like to a friend the other day and it might sound exaggerated but I think it's pretty accurate. I said it feels like being beaten up by a giant wrestler swinging a bag of bricks. I somehow manage to get to the road to call an ambulance, only for the ambulance to accidentally run me over, then accidentally back up over me. We finally get to the hospital, but the hospital explodes, and I'm left buried under the rubble and my legs are also on fire. Like I said, it sounds ridiculously exaggerated but that's honestly the closest comparison I can think of.
So if you've been wondering why I've disappeared for a while, or why I don't get back to you for sometimes days, that's why. I've simply been trying to survive each day.
The sanctuary, of course, doesn't stop. You've seen him in most of the recent posts but he is one we're keeping. I hope for good. He can now easily care for all the animals and take on the cleaning plus other projects around the house and sanctuary. It'd be nice to have one more pair of hands around here. We have volunteers coming and going for the next few months but we're also quietly for that special person that would want to move in and help us start building our full-time on-site community so the animals get even better care and we can also get something I haven't had in years. We can have days off!
Back to Rakan, some people come into your life so quietly that you don't realize just how much they're about to change it.
Back in May, our volunteer then had run out of funds and desperately needed to find a job, which he did, which was wonderful, but it came with the condition that he had to leave right away and he had to book a flight out the following morning. His flight was just 3 days before I had to leave for my first round of the new chemotherapy/immunotherapy regimen. I was preparing myself to call the hospital and postpone it, but what I hadn't told people was that postponing would have decreased the effectiveness of my treatment. But there was just no way I could leave the sanctuary with nobody here and maybe daily drop-ins from whoever is available.
Then Rakan called to check in. He had been periodically calling and checking in on my mental state as well as my physical state and I had been teaching him about the animals. We had already become close friends.
I told him about my predicament but left out that delaying would decrease the effectiveness and also d crease my life expectancy. He told me he had to go but that he'd call right back. When he called back, he had decided to drop everything, he completely changed his plans (he was planning to arrive in July), he had booked a flight leaving the next day, and with one layover, he arrived just in time for me to leave and start treatment as scheduled! When I say that I owe him my life, it's no exaggeration. He had no idea at the time, but he quite literally gave me the chance to fight for my life.
Since then, he's brought so much life, compassion order and love to AnimO. And for the first time in a long time, I feel safe. Being a woman living alone in the mountains while trying to build a sanctuary was never easy, especially with the amount of online hate we've received over the years. I used to receive harassing private messages telling me to take my own life etc. But having someone here who genuinely believes in AnimO's vision and has seen the full property has been one of the greatest gifts I could have asked for. When I say "the full property," most people see down to the pig pen but that's because we haven't had time and manpower and the funds yet to clear out the fallen trees that has cut off the view to the sheer amount of land we have and when you actually see the rest of the land, you can really see the potential this place really has.
Rakan has also become my eyes and legs to care for the animals I can't go near while I'm immunocompromised. I absolutely love the photos and videos he sends me of all the animals I can't safely spend time with right now. Honestly, they're probably my favourite form of entertainment these days. Like my own personal TikTok.
But all of this has been such an important learning experience.
For example, a few projects were completed while I was in hospital and unable to properly oversee them. One area is going to need to be completely redone because the materials that were used simply aren't suitable for animals. We've had issues like dogs with cracked and bleeding paws, and had to spend a lot of money on veterinary treatment for so many dogs because of it. It's disappointing, but we'll fix it. Building an animal sanctuary is very different from building an ordinary property, and every decision has to put the animals first, not visuals, though we understand that's important for strangers who haven't seen how happy and trusting and loving our animals are. That's where the real work goes, and achieving that kind of bonds with animals takes time and patience that most people don't have, not money and flat outdoor grounds. That's a lesson we'll never forget.
Another disadvantage of the fine gravel used is that it gets in all the sliding door frames and makes them get lodged stuck. We also get a miniature dust storm when the dogs run around (and with 6 high energy dogs, it's all the time), and when we have a gust of wind (and being located in a valley, that too is all the time). The dust is a danger to my health when I breathe and irritates my eyes because I lack the protection that eyelashes provide.
Despite everything though, I've found a few unexpected little joys.
I've somehow become a plant person 🌱
I rescued a little rose bush that had just three wilting little leaves left, and now it's thriving! My friend gave me a jasmine plant, I got myself a pothos and a snake plant because they improve air quality, and we're going to have so many tomatoes and blueberries this year! I've also fallen in love with growing herbs for cooking. When my body won't let me care for certain animals safely, it's been really comforting to nurture something else.
I've also discovered colouring blankets, which are honestly one of the greatest inventions ever for long hospital days 😂 I only have one at the moment and I'm saving it for chemo this week.
And now... for the part I've been wavering on tell you or not
Since the very beginning of this journey, my doctor has always been very honest with me. He told me this cancer would be what takes my life, probably within months, and he carefully avoids giving false hope.
At my appointment last week, for the very first time since my diagnosis.....he used the word "cure" when talking about my cancer...
It's still only a very small possibility at this point. I still have a very long and very difficult road ahead, and I'm certainly not out of the woods yet. Please don't think this means everything is suddenly okay because it isn't. I also want to be careful about not giving false hope because if I do that and don't make it, if feel like I let you all down. Thousands of our followers. You all feel like my family and I don't want to be a failure in your eyes or disappoint or hurt you in any way.
But! for the first time since hearing what felt like a d3ath sentence, there's a tiny glimmer of hope.
It's a very teeny tiny one still but it's a real one. And I truly believe that little glimmer exists because of all of you. Every breath seems like part of the fight on most days, but hearing that one little word for the first time made every bit of pain, every puke, every restless night and fatigue filled day, every struggle worth it.
Because people have driven me to hospital.
Because people have cooked food or brought fruit, things I can actually keep down.
Because people have helped clean enclosures.
Because people have picked up p**p so I didn't have to.
Because people have checked in when I disappeared.
Because people have donated towards my treatment and towards the animals.
Because people never stopped believing in AnimO.
I honestly don't know how to thank all of you enough.
Cancer and the treatment has shortened what time I have left, taken my strength, my hair, and so much of what made me feel like me, but all of you guys never let me let go of my identity. I appreciate you all so much for that.
Rakan will also be helping with social media updates from now on so you'll be seeing much more of the animals, especially on the days I'm recovering in bed.
He is also helping keep the animal care wishlist up to date, and I've added things like sunglasses, summer beanies and coloring blankets and fabric colors to the cancer treatment wishlist. Patreon is still one of the biggest ways you can help. For the price of a coca cola each month, you can help provide food, enrichment, veterinary care and enclosure improvements for the animals who call AnimO home.
Patreon:
patreon.com/MinasAnimalSanctuary
Animal care wishlist
https://www.amazon.jp/hz/wishlist/ls/1NB6PNYVFWBI7?ref_=wl_share
Cancer treatment wishlist
https://www.amazon.jp/hz/wishlist/ls/3SA584ZO2WK6X?ref_=wl_share
Here's a sneaky one for me. It's basically plants and pots and socks 😆
https://www.amazon.jp/hz/wishlist/ls/3A1C9V5PD8XTC?ref_=wl_share
I still have many hard months ahead of me, but anyone who's followed me for a while knows one thing about me.
I don't give up.
Thank you for walking this journey with me, for believing in this crazy dream of building a sanctuary in the mountains, and for reading all the way to the end of this madder than usual but very real and raw post.
I love you all more than you know ❤️
Here's a photo dump of what's going on these days. A view of AnimO from both mine and Rakan's eyes.
