29/04/2026
Our chairperson, Whatshisface was looking for some overpriced artisan sourdough the other day, when he was pelted in the ear by a pebble throwing demon while trying to navigate past all the flag wavers and people who can't sing in tune at the Market Cross.
He said "The Market Cross is less of a historic monument and more of a playground for the local Imp Infestation. I was minding my own business this morning when a small, leathery entity dropped a piece of stone onto my head."
"Despite the fact that our council tax has been funnelling money into a "Supernatural Mitigation Strategy," nothing has changed. They’ve spent tens of pounds on Dragon Wort and "Extra Strength Banishing Potions," yet the only thing that’s disappeared is the budget. I saw a council worker yesterday waving a bunch of dried parsley at the monument. The imps didn't leave, they just stole his hat and used it as a urinal."
"It’s a socio magical issue," said Glastonbury Town Councils Arch-Mage Gwyn Whittler.
If the Council doesn't stop consulting ineffective druids and actually do something, we shall be forced to write a very stern letter. Or perhaps I’ll just lie down for a bit.
