28/07/2026
Could shame be the reason? - a personal reflection
A question I drive myself crazy with on a daily basis is this;
Given what we now know about the physical, mental and emotional effects of declining hormones in Perimenopause, and the long term health risks of not having adequate replacement - why are so many women still reluctant to try natural hormone replacement therapy?
Why, instead of being proactive do we wait until symptoms are so debilitating it starts to have a detrimental effects on our career, relationships and day to life, until we seek help?
I know there will be some very valid reasons amongst us, and I am definitely pro choice in all matters relating to female health. However, too many friends, family members, clients, patients will tell me they are really struggling, yet they are reluctant to try natural hormones, or even to seek other support.
The answer for me personally was simply, I didn’t know anything about it.
However, I do remember that when it was first mentioned, I instantly shut it down ‘don’t be stupid I’m only 38 it can’t be’. I almost felt angry at the idea that someone would insult me by suggesting it!!
When I finally did seek help and was prescribed HRT I put my prescription in the cupboard for a week, and only when I was caught in yet another 3am spiral of anxiety, crying and some pretty horrific thoughts, did I think right, enough is enough!
On reflection what I was feeling in those moments was shame.
Shame that when I looked in the mirror I saw a young, vibrant woman in her prime. Not an old lady, so how could it be that my body was doing this to me when I felt so young.
What on earth would people think? None of my friends spoke about it. I was in a new relationship, what would he think about dating a Perimenopausal woman? (Turns out he didn’t mind it at all as 4 years on we are now engaged) 💍
But you know what I have learnt over the years. Shame exists in all of us, for all kinds of reasons and shame is dangerous.
The only way to deal with shame is to name it, frame it and own it.
Once you do that it’s GONE. Just like that!
So, very soon after I put on my first patch, and experienced that first wave of relief and the emergence of the old me coming back, I started talking (shouting mostly) about it openly with friends, family, colleagues, my social media, literally anyone who would listen!
I am so proud of myself for that - because by ridding myself of the shame, I have made space to learn, and through learning and embracing this new chapter of my life I have been able to help others do the same - what a gift!
So, my message to anyone reading this who is suffering but hasn’t yet reached out for support is maybe ponder these questions;
What’s more important than living a long, healthy, happy life?
If you were deficient in iron, or vitamin D would you think twice about taking a supplement?
How often has your body been there to carry you through the hard times in life? Does it deserve to be given a little back?
What is it about seeking support that makes you resist it? (Being too busy doesn’t count)
There is no right or wrong answers to any of these questions, but sometimes reflecting on something like this can help you to see things though a different lens. Help you to prioritise YOU! Because you deserve that!
So, I wonder is one of the major reasons shame? Or is it something else? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.
- Serena
P.S - did you know we support women in coventry in a variety of ways for FREE. Come and join our private group SHE Social and be a part of the conversation 🔗 🔗 https://www.facebook.com/groups/33603622889251203/
